Attracting mature, genuine men versus young, immature boys comes down to your habits.
Boys are attracted to certain behaviors that real men are not—if you’re ready to attract a genuine, mature partner rather than someone who’s emotionally immature, it starts with making some changes in your own approach.
I’m here to offer you a new perspective, to show you which habits might be holding you back from attracting the right kind of relationship.
Here are seven behaviors to let go of if you want to start attracting real men, not boys.
It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it—trust me, I’ve been there, done that.
1) Dependence
A key difference between a boy and a real man is their reaction to your independence.
Boys may feel threatened or insecure when faced with a strong, independent woman; they might want to be your knight in shining armor, rescuing you from every little problem that comes your way.
Real men, however, are attracted to women who can stand on their own two feet as they respect and admire women who aren’t afraid to tackle challenges head-on, women who don’t rely on others for their happiness and success.
If you find yourself constantly seeking help or validation from the men in your life, it might be time to reevaluate, embrace your independence, and show them that you can handle things on your own.
Remember, it’s not about pushing them away but about showing that you are capable and confident, which is something that real men find incredibly attractive.
2) Playing hard to get
In my early twenties, I was convinced that playing hard to get was the way to a man’s heart—I thought that by being elusive and mysterious, I would make myself more desirable.
But let me tell you, this tactic only attracted boys, not the real men I was looking for.
Boys love the chase because they thrive on the excitement of pursuing someone who seems unattainable.
But real men? They’re looking for authenticity.
When I stopped playing games and started being upfront about my feelings and intentions, the boys faded away—in their place came genuine, mature men who appreciated my honesty and straightforwardness.
Playing hard to get might feel like a fun game in the moment, but it’s not a foundation for a lasting relationship with a real man.
3) Negativity
Pessimism and negativity can be like a thick cloud of smoke, pushing people away before they even get close.
It’s not about pretending to be happy all the time, but rather about having a generally positive outlook on life.
Studies have shown that positive people are more likely to attract positive experiences and relationships as they are also more likely to be seen as attractive and desirable partners.
Real men are drawn to positivity—they appreciate women who can see the silver lining, even in challenging situations.
Negativity, on the other hand, can be draining and off-putting.
Bid farewell to your negative mindset, and start cultivating a more positive outlook and watch as your love life transforms.
4) Being overly materialistic
Attracting a real man has little to do with the brand of your handbag or the size of your diamond earrings.
These real men are attracted to women who value relationships and experiences over things, and they appreciate women who understand that the best things in life aren’t things at all.
If you’re constantly flaunting your possessions or showing off your latest shopping haul, it might be time to rethink.
This habit might be sending the wrong message and attracting the wrong kind of attention—focus on building meaningful relationships and creating priceless memories.
5) Pretending to be someone you’re not
I remember a time when I thought I needed to be someone else to be loved: I tried to fit into a mold, to be the kind of woman I thought men wanted.
In doing so, I lost myself—I was no longer living authentically.
But here’s what I’ve learned: real men are attracted to authenticity.
They appreciate women who are comfortable in their own skin, women who are unapologetically themselves.
When I started embracing my quirks and flaws, something incredible happened: I started attracting men who valued me for who I truly am, not for who they wanted me to be!
Let go of the masks and pretenses, and embrace your true self—with all your strengths and weaknesses.
6) Lack of self-respect
Respect is an essential foundation for any healthy relationship, and it starts with self-respect.
Boys might take advantage of someone who doesn’t respect themselves.
But real men? They’re attracted to women who know their worth.
If you don’t respect yourself, it can be challenging for others to respect you—moreover, it may lead you to accept less than you deserve.
Set boundaries, stand up for yourself, and don’t tolerate disrespect. The moment you start treating yourself with the respect you deserve, you’ll start attracting real men who will do the same.
7) Fear of being alone
The fear of being alone can lead us to make some unwise choices—it can push us into the arms of boys, rather than waiting for a real man.
Countless real men are attracted to women who are comfortable being alone, who understand that being single is far better than being in the wrong relationship.
Clinging to a relationship, out of this fear, is a sign for you to embrace your solitude—using this time to grow, to learn about yourself, and to build a life you love.
You don’t need someone else to complete you.
You are whole on your own, and when the right man comes along, he will add to your happiness, not be the source of it.
