I used to think that constantly worrying about what others thought of me was just part of being human.
But then it hit me—this wasn’t just occasional self-consciousness; it was like carrying around a little storm cloud of doubt, hovering over every conversation, every glance, every pause.
It’s not exactly something we talk about at happy hour, but when you’re caught up in what people might think, it shows. It’s there in the way you hesitate to speak, the over-analyzed texts, the excessive apologies.
If any of this feels familiar, you’re not alone. In fact, there are subtle, almost universal signs of this kind of social anxiety.
Let’s take a look at ten of them. Because when we get honest about what’s weighing us down, we can finally figure out how to let it go.
1) Overly concerned with others’ opinions
Have you ever found yourself obsessively replaying conversations in your head, worrying about how you came off to others?
This could be a strong indication of social anxiety.
Being constantly concerned about what others think is one of the most prominent traits of individuals with a high level of social anxiety. It’s as if there’s an internal critic in our heads, incessantly scrutinizing every word we say, every action we take.
And while it’s natural and healthy to consider how our actions affect others, this becomes a problem when it tips over into constant worry and self-doubt.
This trait can be exhausting, not just mentally but also physically. It often leads to sleepless nights, a lack of focus, and even physical symptoms like headaches or stomach problems.
So if you find yourself constantly worrying about what others think, know that it’s a common trait among people who share your concerns.
2) Avoiding social situations
I remember a time when the thought of attending a social gathering used to fill me with absolute dread.
The mere idea of being surrounded by people, possibly being judged by them, was enough to make me want to curl up at home instead.
Avoiding social situations is another common trait among those who are overly anxious about others’ opinions.
It’s not always outright fear, sometimes it’s just a subtle inclination to evade any situation where we might be exposed to possible judgment or criticism.
This trait can lead to missed opportunities and experiences. While it might seem like a good idea at the time, consistently avoiding social interactions can limit our personal growth and keep us stuck in the cycle of anxiety.
3) Fear of being the center of attention
Did you know that Glossophobia, the fear of public speaking, is often a symptom of social anxiety?
It’s not just about making speeches either. Any situation where you become the focal point can trigger this fear.
This trait manifests as a deep discomfort or even terror when attention is directed at us. We worry about saying the wrong thing, tripping over our words or simply being judged negatively by those around us.
But here’s the thing – most people are too busy worrying about their own performance to critically analyze yours. Understanding this can help take some pressure off and allow you to start getting comfortable with taking center stage.
4) Overthinking and rumination
If you ever find yourself stuck in a cycle of overthinking, endlessly replaying scenarios in your head, this might be a sign of social anxiety.
Overthinking often leads to rumination, where you constantly dwell on past events or worry about future ones.
This can be particularly draining as it keeps your mind in a state of constant unrest, making it hard to focus on the present.
The good news is, there are strategies to break this cycle.
Mindfulness exercises, for example, can help train your mind to focus on the present moment and reduce the tendency to overthink.
5) Apologizing excessively
Are you someone who finds yourself constantly saying sorry, even when it’s not required?
This trait is common among people who are always anxious about what others think of them.
Excessive apologizing may stem from a fear of offending others or a desire to avoid conflict. While it’s good to apologize when we’ve done something wrong, doing it excessively can actually undermine our self-confidence and give others the impression that we’re unsure or insecure.
If you find yourself apologizing too often, it may be time to work on asserting yourself more and realizing that you don’t need to say sorry for everything.
It’s okay to stand your ground and express your opinions respectfully.
6) Struggling with self-esteem
Living in constant worry about what others think can take a serious toll on your self-esteem.
It’s like a heavy weight pressing down on you, making you feel less worthy or capable than you truly are.
Your worth isn’t determined by others’ perceptions. It’s something inherent, intrinsic, that doesn’t change based on someone else’s opinion.
But when we’re constantly worrying about how we’re being perceived, it can cloud this truth.
If you’re struggling with self-esteem, please know that you’re not alone and it’s okay to seek help. Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or professional counselor.
Sometimes, having someone to talk to can make all the difference. Everyone deserves to feel good about themselves. You do too.
7) Difficulty making eye contact
In the past, I would often find myself avoiding eye contact during conversations.
Looking someone in the eye felt like opening a window into my soul, and the vulnerability was overwhelming.
Difficulty maintaining eye contact is a common trait among those who worry about others’ opinions. It’s a protective mechanism, a way to shield ourselves from potential judgment or criticism.
However, eye contact is an important part of effective communication. It shows the other person that we’re engaged and interested in what they’re saying.
Learning to maintain appropriate eye contact can greatly enhance our interpersonal skills and help us feel more confident in social situations.
8) Seeking constant reassurance
You might think that seeking reassurance from others is a way to alleviate your anxiety about what people think of you. S
urprisingly, it often does the opposite.
Constantly asking for validation or approval can keep you trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and anxiety. It’s like a short-term fix that doesn’t address the root cause, which is a lack of self-confidence and self-trust.
Instead of seeking external validation, try working on building your inner confidence. Your worth isn’t dependent on others’ approval. It comes from within.
9) Difficulty expressing your needs
If you often find it hard to express your needs or wants, this could be linked to your concern about what others think.
You might fear that asserting yourself will lead to conflict or make you appear selfish.
However, it’s important to understand that expressing your needs is a healthy part of any relationship, whether personal or professional. It’s not about being demanding or self-centered, but about communicating effectively and standing up for yourself.
If this is something you struggle with, consider practicing assertive communication techniques.
It may feel uncomfortable at first, but with time, it can greatly improve your relationships and overall confidence.
10) Fear of rejection
At the heart of worrying about what others think is often a deep-seated fear of rejection.
We fear that if we show our true selves, we’ll be judged, criticized or even abandoned.
But here’s the truth: everyone experiences rejection at some point. It’s a part of life. And while it can be painful, it doesn’t define your worth or your potential.
Embrace who you are, quirks and all. The people who matter will love and accept you for it. And those who don’t? Well, their opinions aren’t worth your peace of mind.
Final thoughts
Here’s what I’ve learned about worrying what others think: it’s exhausting, and it’s a game you can never really win.
But the good news? You don’t have to.
Recognizing the ways this anxiety shows up—whether it’s over-apologizing, avoiding eye contact, or fearing rejection—can help you reclaim your peace of mind. You don’t have to fix every trait or suddenly become fearless.
Start making small shifts, like learning to quiet that inner critic or practicing kindness toward yourself when the fear creeps in.
Christopher Germer once said something that stuck with me: “Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.”
And maybe that’s the key. Instead of trying to control what others think, what if we just gave ourselves permission to exist, flaws and all?
So here’s to showing up, awkward moments and all. Because the only opinion that really matters? It’s the one you hold about yourself.
