Navigating the world of love can be like trying to solve a complex puzzle with no clear solution. It’s challenging, it’s messy, and sometimes, it can leave us questioning whether we’re on the right track.
Hey there, it’s Tina Fey, founder of Love Connection. I’ve been in your shoes before, wondering if I’m in the right relationship or just fooling myself.
So, how do you know you’re in the right relationship when it doesn’t always feel perfect? There are certain signs to look out for that indicate you’re on the right path, even amidst the chaos and uncertainty.
In this article, I’ll share with you 8 signs that you’re in the right relationship, even if it doesn’t feel like it. These are observations I’ve made from years of experience, both personal and professional. And don’t worry, they are simpler than you might think!
1) You feel safe to be yourself
In love, authenticity is critical. Yet, it’s natural to feel insecure and wonder if our true selves will be accepted.
But here’s the thing, in a right relationship, you’re not only allowed but encouraged to be your authentic self. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin and knowing your partner loves you for who you truly are.
This doesn’t mean that every day is a fairytale or that your partner has to like every single thing about you. That’s unrealistic. It means that you can show your true colors, quirks, and all, without the fear of being judged or rejected.
If you find yourself in a relationship where you can freely express your thoughts, emotions, and even your oddball habits, and still feel loved and accepted, that’s a good sign. It’s a clear indication that you’re in the right relationship, even if it doesn’t always feel perfect.
And let me tell you something from experience—this type of acceptance is liberating. It allows love to grow in its purest form, fostering a bond that is strong, real, and unshakeable.
2) Your values align
This point reminds me of a quote by renowned author, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”
In the chaos of love, we often forget that shared values play a significant role in making a relationship right. It’s not all about having common hobbies or sharing the same taste in music. It goes deeper than that.
Values are essentially our moral compass, guiding us in the decisions we make and the lives we lead. If you and your partner share the same core values, you’re more likely to have a unified vision for your future together.
Think about it. When it comes to major decisions like whether to have children, where to live, or even how to handle money, if your values align, you’ll find these decisions less of a battleground and more of a shared vision.
In my own relationship journey, I’ve found that having aligned values makes for smoother sailing. It doesn’t mean we always agree on everything, but our shared values act as an anchor that keeps us steady even in stormy seas.
Remember, love is as much about looking in the same direction as it is about looking at each other.
3) You maintain your individuality
Being in a loving relationship doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself. In fact, maintaining your individuality is not only healthy, but it’s also a sign of a right relationship.
When we fall in love, it’s easy to become so wrapped up in our partner that we start losing our own identity. But the truth is, a strong relationship consists of two strong individuals. Each partner should have their own interests, friends, and time to themselves.
In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into the importance of maintaining one’s individuality and how it contributes to a healthy, fulfilling relationship.
It might not feel like it sometimes, especially when you crave for that constant closeness, but remember, you’re not just someone’s partner. You’re also an individual with your own dreams and aspirations.
Hold on to that. It’s what makes you, you!
4) You’re not afraid to argue
Yes, you read it right. Arguments can actually be a good sign in a relationship. Before you raise your eyebrows, let me explain.
It’s a common misconception that a perfect relationship is one without disagreements. But the reality is, no two people are alike, and disagreements are bound to happen. What matters is how you handle them.
In a healthy relationship, arguments are more about understanding each other’s perspectives and finding common ground than they are about winning or being right. They can lead to better communication, deeper understanding, and even strengthen the bond between partners.
Now, this doesn’t mean that constant bickering or harmful fights are signs of a right relationship. There’s a big difference between constructive arguments and toxic conflicts.
So if you find that you and your partner can disagree respectfully, listen to each other’s viewpoints, and work towards a resolution without attacking each other personally, that’s a sign you’re in the right relationship.
It might feel counterintuitive, but remember, it’s through our disagreements that we often learn the most about each other.
5) You celebrate each other’s successes
One of the most heartwarming aspects of being in a relationship, I’ve found, is having someone to share your victories with—big or small.
In a right relationship, your partner isn’t just there for the tough times; they’re also there to cheer you on when you succeed. They celebrate your achievements and are genuinely happy for you. And of course, you do the same for them.
It’s not about competition or jealousy. It’s about being each other’s biggest cheerleaders and finding joy in each other’s successes. My partner and I have had our share of highs and lows, but celebrating our wins together has always been a highlight.
There’s something uniquely beautiful about sharing joy. It amplifies happiness and strengthens bonds like nothing else can.
6) You’ve seen each other at your worst—and stayed
Let’s be honest, we all have our rough edges and low moments. And being in a relationship means witnessing each other in less than flattering situations.
Maybe it was that time you were sick as a dog and not looking your best, or when you were grappling with a difficult life situation and not acting your best. In a right relationship, your partner has seen you at your worst—and decided to stay anyway.
This is because love isn’t just about being there during the good times; it’s also about sticking around when things get tough. It’s about seeing past the imperfections, the bad days, the meltdowns, and still choosing to love that person.
If you can look at your partner at their worst and still think, “Yep, that’s my person,” you’re likely in the right relationship.
Love isn’t picture-perfect. It’s raw, it’s real, and sometimes it’s messy. But it’s seeing through all of that mess and loving your partner anyway—that’s what makes it beautiful and right.
7) You have trust and respect for each other
Trust and respect are non-negotiable in any relationship, especially in a romantic one. They are the foundation upon which love grows and lasts.
If you respect each other’s boundaries, opinions, and individuality, and trust each other implicitly, then you’re definitely on the right track. It’s about understanding that your partner is a separate individual with their own thoughts and feelings and respecting that.
In my own relationship journey, I’ve realized that trust and respect are like glue—they hold everything together. Even when we disagree or when times are tough, the underlying respect and trust we share keep us connected.
So if you can confidently say that your relationship is built on mutual trust and respect, then my friend, it’s a sign you’re in the right relationship, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.
Remember, love may be a beautiful emotion, but without trust and respect, it’s like a house built on sand—it won’t stand the test of time.
8) Love isn’t always the priority
This might sound a bit surprising, but hear me out.
Love is beautiful, powerful, and necessary. But it isn’t always enough. A right relationship needs more than just love to thrive. It requires effort, commitment, patience, and understanding.
In the real world, love isn’t just about grand gestures and passionate declarations. It’s about doing the laundry when your partner is tired, listening when they’ve had a rough day, or making their favorite meal just to see them smile.
If you’re in a relationship where both of you understand that love isn’t just a feeling, but a choice you make every day—to show up, to be there for each other, to work through the hardships—that’s a sign you’re in a right relationship.
It may not feel like it sometimes, especially when life gets tough or mundane. But remember, love isn’t always about fireworks and butterflies; sometimes, it’s about choosing to stay and fight for each other, even when the sparks fade. That’s the raw, honest truth about long-lasting love.
Conclusion
Navigating the world of love can be complex, but knowing these signs can give you a clearer picture of where your relationship stands. Remember, no relationship is perfect, and it’s okay to not always feel like you’re in the right one.
The key is understanding that the right relationship is less about perfection and more about growth, understanding, and mutual respect. And if you see these signs in your relationship, even amidst the chaos and uncertainty, then my friend, you’re probably in the right relationship.
If you wish to delve deeper into maintaining your individuality and overcoming codependency in relationships, consider reading my book – Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.
Remember, love is a journey—not a destination. So take your time, trust the process, and most importantly, trust yourself. You’ve got this!
