You have a narcissistic family member. Their toxicity drains you, and you decide to sever ties for your own well-being. But then, you’re left with a chasm of emotional turmoil, and you have to figure out how to navigate it.
Sounds familiar?
You’re not alone. In fact, many people who cut ties with narcissistic family members often display certain coping behaviors. And guess what? They’re not all negative.
In this article, we’re going to delve into these seven behaviors. While they may be born out of challenging circumstances, they may also hold the key to resilience and personal growth.
So if you’ve ever found yourself asking, “How do I cope after cutting ties with a narcissistic family member?” This one’s for you. Let’s get started.
1. Embracing solitude
Now, this might sound a bit counterintuitive.
After all, isn’t loneliness something to be avoided? Not necessarily.
You see, when you’ve been dealing with a narcissistic family member, your emotional bandwidth can often be stretched thin. The constant need to defend yourself, the emotional manipulation – it takes a toll.
So, when you finally cut ties, solitude can actually be a breath of fresh air. It’s not about being lonely – it’s about reclaiming your space and time. It’s about restoring your own emotional health.
In fact, many people find that solitude allows them to better understand their feelings and reactions, and ultimately helps them heal.
And yes, while it may be difficult at first, embracing solitude is often the first step towards recovery and self-discovery.
2. Seeking professional help
For a long time, I thought I could handle it all on my own.
My narcissistic family member had taken up so much of my mental and emotional energy that I believed I had become an expert at dealing with it. “I’ve been through the worst,” I thought, “what can a therapist tell me that I don’t already know?”
I was wrong.
When I finally decided to seek professional help, it was like turning on a light in a dark room. My therapist didn’t just validate my experiences but also gave me tools to cope, understand, and heal.
And guess what? This isn’t just my story. Many people who cut ties with narcissistic family members often turn to therapy or counseling.
It’s not a sign of weakness, but rather a courageous step towards healing and understanding. It’s about acknowledging that some wounds require a professional touch to heal properly.
3. Reconnecting with themselves
Sometimes, you forget who you are.
When you’re constantly tangled up with a narcissist, your own identity can become blurred. You start to lose sight of your likes, dislikes, dreams, and passions. Everything becomes about appeasing the narcissistic family member and surviving the emotional storms.
So when you finally cut ties, there’s this moment of…quiet.
Suddenly, you’re not defined by this toxic relationship anymore. And it’s scary because now, you’re left with the task of finding yourself again.
This is a journey I’ve seen many embark on, including myself.
It involves rediscovering hobbies that were abandoned, rekindling old friendships that were neglected, and even exploring new interests that were previously suppressed.
It’s about allowing yourself to evolve and grow outside the confines of the narcissistic relationship – a chance to become who you truly are. It’s not easy, but it’s a journey worth undertaking for your own well-being.
4. Establishing boundaries
Now, this is a big one.
In relationships with narcissists, boundaries are often trampled upon. It’s like they don’t exist. So when you finally break free, establishing healthy boundaries can feel like uncharted territory.
But let me assure you, it’s a critical step on the path to healing.
Creating these boundaries might look like saying ‘no’ without feeling guilty, prioritizing your own needs, or not letting others take advantage of your time and emotions.
It’s about standing up for yourself and asserting your worth.
And while it may feel uncomfortable at first, with practice, establishing boundaries can lead to healthier relationships and a better understanding of your own limits.
5. Practicing mindfulness
Here’s something you may not have considered. The simple act of breathing.
In the chaos of dealing with a narcissistic family member, it’s easy to lose touch with the present moment. You’re either ruminating about the past or worrying about the future. But when you cut ties, you suddenly find yourself with the space to breathe and be present.
This is where mindfulness comes in.
Research shows that practicing mindfulness – which is essentially about paying attention to the present moment without judgement – can significantly reduce stress and improve mental well-being.
It’s like giving your mind a break, allowing it to refocus and recharge. It’s a tool I’ve seen many use in their healing journey, including myself.
Whether it’s through meditation, yoga, or simply taking a few moments each day to focus on your breath, mindfulness can be a powerful coping mechanism on the road to recovery.
6. Extending compassion to themselves
Let’s face it, cutting ties with a narcissistic family member isn’t just tough, it’s downright heartbreaking.
And in the midst of this emotional turmoil, it’s easy to beat yourself up. You might find yourself questioning your decision, wondering if you could’ve done something differently, or even blaming yourself.
This is why self-compassion is so important.
It’s about acknowledging that you’re human and it’s okay to make mistakes. It’s about understanding that you did the best you could in a difficult situation.
It’s not about justifying the narcissist’s behavior. It’s about extending kindness and understanding to yourself – the same kindness you would extend to a good friend going through a similar situation.
Remember, healing isn’t a linear process. It’s filled with ups and downs. And practicing self-compassion can be a gentle reminder to be patient with yourself on this journey.
7. Rebuilding trust
Trust – it’s a small word with a big impact.
When you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissistic family member, trust is often one of the first casualties. You might find yourself questioning your own judgment, doubting others, or fearing new relationships.
But here’s the thing – rebuilding trust is possible. And it’s crucial.
It’s about taking small steps, like opening up to a friend about your feelings, or allowing yourself to rely on someone else. It’s about taking risks, even if they’re tiny ones.
Rebuilding trust is about learning that there are people out there who genuinely care about your well-being. It’s about finding faith in yourself and others again.
And most importantly, it’s okay to take your time.
Trust is not built overnight, but with patience and perseverance, it can be reclaimed.
In closing
If you recognize yourself in these behaviors, know that you’re not alone. Cutting ties with a narcissistic family member is a tough and often heartbreaking decision, but it’s one that many have had to make for their own well-being.
And the good news? You’re stronger than you think.
Remember, these coping behaviors are not weaknesses but signs of resilience. They reflect your ability to adapt, learn, and grow from challenging circumstances. It’s about finding the strength within yourself to prioritize your own mental and emotional health.
