Getting older brings wisdom, but sometimes, it also comes with habits that can make us less likable.
It’s a tricky balance – maintaining our individuality while also striving to be someone others enjoy being around.
The good news? These habits aren’t set in stone. You can choose to let them go and become more likable as you age.
In this article, we’ll explore 9 subtle habits you might want to say goodbye to if you want to stay likable as you get older. It’s about growing older and wiser, not just in years, but also in character.
Let’s dive in.
1) Complaining about the past
With age, it’s easy to slip into the habit of lamenting about the “good old days”. You know, those times when everything was supposedly better.
While it’s natural to feel nostalgic, constantly complaining about the past can make you seem negative and stuck in a bygone era.
Remember, the people around you are living in the present. They want to engage with someone who is also present and excited about the here and now.
Letting go of excessive nostalgia and focusing more on the present moment can make you more relatable and likable as you get older. So next time you find yourself drifting into “back in my day” stories, try to steer the conversation towards the present or future instead.
Of course, it’s important to share your experiences and wisdom. But balance is key. Stay connected with the present, and you might find people are more drawn to your company.
After all, who doesn’t like engaging with someone who is excited about life right now?
2) Resistance to new technology
I used to be the kind of person who was stubborn about embracing new technology. “Why do I need a smartphone when my old flip phone works just fine?” I’d argue.
But over time, I realized this habit was making me seem out of touch and even a little irritable. People, especially younger ones, started hesitating before sharing exciting technological advancements with me because they knew I would just dismiss them.
So, I decided to make a change. I got myself a smartphone and asked my tech-savvy nephew to teach me how to use it. I won’t lie, it was a struggle initially. But soon, I realized how much easier it made my life – from getting directions to keeping in touch with friends.
And the best part? People started seeing me as more approachable. They no longer saw me as the grumpy old-timer resisting change but someone who was willing to learn and adapt.
3) Not respecting personal boundaries
As we age, it’s easy to feel that we’ve earned the right to voice our opinions freely, even when they’re unsolicited. But this can often lead to overstepping personal boundaries.
A study conducted by the University of Georgia found that people who respect others’ personal boundaries are more likely to be liked and accepted by their peers. This doesn’t change as we get older.
If you’re prone to giving advice without being asked, or asking overly personal questions, you might want to rethink this habit. Respecting personal boundaries is a fundamental part of maintaining healthy relationships at any age.
When you find yourself about to offer unsolicited advice or delve into someone’s personal matters, take a step back.
4) Being dismissive of younger generations
It’s all too common for older individuals to dismiss the opinions or experiences of younger generations. Phrases like “you’ll understand when you’re older” can come off as patronizing and dismissive, even if that’s not the intention.
Remember, everyone’s perspective is shaped by their unique experiences, and age doesn’t necessarily equate to wisdom. Younger generations have their own valuable insights and experiences to share.
Instead of writing off their perspectives, try to engage in a meaningful conversation. Ask questions about their experiences and viewpoints. You might be surprised at what you’ll learn.
Embracing open-mindedness towards younger generations can make you more likable and approachable, fostering better relationships with those around you.
5) Focusing too much on the clock
As we get older, it’s easy to become overly conscious of time, always rushing to get things done and complaining about wasted time. This habit, however, can make us seem impatient and irritable.
While valuing time is important, being overly rushed can detract from our relationships with others. It’s hard to connect with someone who’s always looking at their watch.
Try practicing patience and mindfulness. Allow conversations to flow naturally without feeling the need to rush them. Take the time to really listen and engage with people.
By saying goodbye to your obsession with time, you’ll become more present and enjoyable to be around. You’ll come across as someone who values relationships more than just ticking off tasks on a to-do list.
6) Holding onto grudges
Life is too short to hold onto grudges. As we grow older, the feuds and disagreements we’ve had over the years can weigh heavy on our hearts and minds.
While it’s natural to feel hurt and upset, carrying these negative feelings around for years can make us less likable. It can make us seem bitter, and it can also prevent us from forming meaningful relationships with others.
Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting or dismissing the wrongs done to us. It’s about finding peace and moving forward. It’s about letting go of the bitterness that can taint our interactions with others.
By learning to forgive, not only will you find personal peace, but you’ll also become a more likable person. Because at the end of the day, who doesn’t want to be around someone who exudes positivity and grace?
7) Neglecting self-care
I’ve always been the type to put others first. I’d often neglect my own needs to ensure everyone else was taken care of. As I got older, I realized this habit wasn’t just affecting my health, but also how others perceived me.
While it might seem selfless to always put others first, neglecting self-care can lead to burnout and resentment. It can also make us seem perpetually tired or irritable – not exactly likable traits.
I started setting aside time for myself – whether it was reading a book, going for a walk, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee in silence. The result was astonishing. Not only did I feel healthier and happier, but I also found that people enjoyed my company more.
8) Being set in your ways
As we age, we often become more set in our ways. We have our routines, our preferences, and we’re not always open to change. This can make us seem rigid and unapproachable.
But here’s the thing: life is about growth and change. By remaining open to new experiences, ideas, and people, we continue to learn and grow.
Being adaptable doesn’t mean you have to compromise your core values or beliefs. It simply means being willing to consider different perspectives and being open to new experiences.
So try that new restaurant your friend recommended. Listen to your grandchild’s favorite band. Read a book from a genre you’ve never tried before.
By letting go of the rigidity, you’ll become more likable and approachable, while continuing to grow as you get older.
9) Failing to express gratitude
One of the most powerful habits you can adopt to become more likable as you age is expressing gratitude. A simple “thank you” can go a long way in making someone feel appreciated and valued.
Gratitude not only makes others feel good, but it also has a positive impact on our own wellbeing. Studies have shown that expressing gratitude can reduce stress, improve our mood, and even contribute to better physical health.
Start by appreciating the small things in life. Thank your partner for making coffee in the morning. Express gratitude to your friend for their thoughtful advice. Let your neighbor know you appreciate their help.
Expressing gratitude consistently can transform how people perceive you. It’s a powerful way to become more likable as you get older, and it’s a habit worth cultivating.
