Falling out of love isn’t always a dramatic scene from a movie. Sometimes, it’s a quiet, almost invisible process that shows itself through subtle changes in behavior.
As Tina Fey, the founder of the Love Connection blog and a relationship expert, I’ve seen how love can gently unravel without either party realizing it.
That’s why I’ve compiled these eight subtle signs that someone might be falling out of love. No need for guessing games or reading between the lines – these behaviors speak volumes.
Remember, knowledge is power – especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
Let’s dive in.
1) Emotional distance
It’s often said that love is all about connection. So, when someone starts to fall out of love, it’s not unusual to see them pulling away emotionally.
This distance can be subtle. It might show up as a withdrawal from deep conversations, a reluctance to share feelings or thoughts, or a seeming disinterest in the life of their partner.
As Tina Fey, I’ve seen this time and again in my work as a relationship expert. People in love are eager to connect – they want to know and be known. But when love starts slipping away, that eagerness often wanes.
This isn’t a hard and fast rule, of course. Everyone has off days and times when they’re just not up for a heart-to-heart. But if you notice a consistent pattern of emotional withdrawal, it might be a sign that something deeper is going on.
2) Lack of physical affection
Physical affection is one of the most integral aspects of a romantic relationship. It’s not just about sex – it’s about the small, intimate moments like holding hands, hugging, or even just touching their arm while talking.
When someone starts falling out of love, these moments of physical affection can start to dwindle. It could be less frequent or feel forced and mechanical.
In my years as a relationship expert, I’ve seen how the lack of these little physical connections can create a chasm between partners. As the saying goes, “Actions speak louder than words.” And in love, no action speaks louder than tender touch.
As Maya Angelou wisely said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” The absence of physical connection can leave a partner feeling unloved and forgotten. It’s a change that doesn’t go unnoticed.
3) Decreased interest in shared activities
When people are in love, they often develop shared interests or hobbies — it could be anything from cooking together to binge-watching a favorite show.
However, when someone is quietly falling out of love, these shared activities might not hold the same appeal anymore. They might start to avoid these activities or seem less enthusiastic when participating.
In my own experience and through countless stories I’ve heard, this shift can be quite revealing. Shared activities are often the glue that holds a relationship together, the shared experiences that create a unique bond.
This is something I delve into in my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s important to remember that every relationship has its ups and downs. But if you notice a steady decrease in shared activities, it might be time to check in with your partner.
4) Increased attention
Now, this might sound counterintuitive. You’d think that someone falling out of love would pay less attention, not more. But that’s not always the case.
At times, people who are falling out of love might overcompensate by becoming overly attentive. It’s like they’re trying to convince themselves and their partner that everything is fine. This could be through excessive gifts, compliments, or even just a noticeable increase in time spent together.
However, this attention often feels forced or unnatural – like they’re going through the motions rather than genuinely engaging.
In my years as a relationship expert, I’ve come to understand that love isn’t about grand gestures or constant attention. It’s about genuine connection, understanding, and mutual respect – things that can’t be faked.
5) Avoidance of future plans
Planning for the future is a key aspect of any serious relationship. From planning vacations to discussing long-term life goals, these conversations show a commitment to a shared future.
When someone begins to fall out of love, they might start avoiding these conversations. They may become evasive when talking about the future or change the subject entirely.
On a personal note, I’ve seen this happen numerous times. It’s as if the person can’t envision their future with their partner anymore, and it’s a tough reality to face.
It’s important to remember that everyone has moments of uncertainty – but consistent avoidance of future plans is something to take note of. It might be a sign that your partner is quietly falling out of love.
6) Honesty becomes a rarity
Honesty is the backbone of any strong relationship. It’s the basis of trust, understanding, and deep connection. But when love starts to fade, honesty can become scarce.
This isn’t about blatant lies or deception. It’s often more subtle than that. They might start hiding their feelings, avoiding certain topics, or withholding information that they used to share freely.
It’s a painful truth to confront. No one wants to feel like their partner is holding back or being less than honest. But it’s important to face these realities head-on.
Love can’t thrive in the shadows of half-truths and withheld feelings. If you’re noticing a lack of honesty in your relationship, it might be time for a heart-to-heart conversation.
7) Communication dwindles
Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. It’s how we connect, understand each other, and resolve conflicts.
When someone is quietly falling out of love, the frequency and quality of communication often decrease. Conversations may become superficial, or they might avoid talking altogether.
In my experience as a relationship expert, I’ve seen how this breakdown in communication can create a silent divide between partners. It’s like they’re living parallel lives, rather than sharing a journey together.
As the renowned American writer, Mark Twain once said, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” I would add a third – the day you find out that communication is the essence of love.
8) They start to feel like a stranger
This is perhaps the most raw and painful sign that someone is quietly falling out of love: they start to feel like a stranger.
The person you once knew inside out, who felt like an extension of yourself, suddenly seems distant and unfamiliar. Their quirks, habits, and preferences may no longer feel endearing or familiar, but alien and disconnected.
It’s a hard truth to swallow. Realizing that the person you love is drifting away can be one of the most painful experiences in life.
But remember, recognizing this change is the first step toward addressing it. Whether it leads to mending the relationship or coming to terms with its end, honesty with oneself is the starting point.
Final thoughts
Recognizing the signs that someone is falling out of love is never easy. It’s a journey that requires honesty, courage, and a lot of self-reflection.
But remember, acknowledging these signs is the first step towards understanding what’s happening in your relationship. Whether it leads to reconciliation or acceptance of an ending, it’s a crucial step.
In my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into these topics further, offering insights and practical advice.
Remember, love is a journey, not a destination. And every journey offers opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Stay brave, stay honest, and above all, stay true to yourself.
