The people who truly matter—your family and closest friends—are the ones whose admiration feels the most meaningful.
Sure, a stranger might compliment you or a new acquaintance may express admiration, but those fleeting moments pale in comparison to the respect of those who know you deeply.
Yet, here’s the hard truth: earning genuine admiration from the people who matter most isn’t automatic. It requires reflection and growth, often starting with what you need to stop doing.
If you want to inspire authentic respect and admiration from your loved ones, it’s time to say goodbye to these 9 behaviors.
1) You’re constantly criticizing others
Now, let’s dive right in.
Our behaviors say a lot about us. And one that can significantly dampen the admiration people have for us is constant criticism.
Have you been overly critical of your family and friends recently? If yes, it might be time to reevaluate.
Let’s not confuse constructive criticism with constant criticism. The former is about growth and improvement, while the latter can leave people feeling belittled and disrespected.
Yes, we all slip into the trap of constant criticism at times, myself included. It’s easy to point out what’s wrong rather than what’s right.
But if we want genuine admiration, we must learn to appreciate more and criticize less.
Nobody’s perfect, including ourselves. Understanding this can help us become more tolerant and less critical of others.
2) You’re always playing the victim
You might be familiar with a psychological concept called the victim mentality.
In simple terms, people with a victim mentality believe they’re always the victims of others’ actions or circumstances. They feel powerless and unable to change their situation.
Sound familiar?
Victim mentality can sneak up on us without us even realizing it. It’s when we start blaming others for our problems, or when we believe that life is unfair, and we’re always at the receiving end of it.
While it’s human nature to feel victimized in certain situations, staying stuck in this mindset can push away those close to us.
People are more likely to admire those who take responsibility for their actions and strive to overcome their challenges instead of playing the victim.
Getting out of the victim mentality isn’t easy, but it’s a crucial step towards earning admiration from your loved ones.
3) You’re not accepting help when you need it
Interestingly, while constantly adopting a victim mentality can hinder admiration, so can its opposite—rejecting help when you truly need it.
We all encounter moments when life feels overwhelming and a helping hand can make all the difference.
Yet, in striving for self-reliance or fearing the perception of weakness, some may resist support even when it’s desperately needed.
Independence is undeniably a strength, but so is the wisdom to recognize when you need assistance and the grace to accept it. Far from being a sign of failure, seeking help demonstrates self-awareness and courage.
Taking responsibility for your life doesn’t mean doing everything alone. It means understanding your limits and allowing others to step in when the burden becomes too great.
Ironically, this willingness to accept help often enhances admiration—it reveals authenticity and a relatable humanity.
Helen Keller captured this beautifully: “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.”
Accepting support doesn’t weaken your independence; it strengthens your ability to thrive through connection and collaboration.
4) You’re not listening actively
Have you ever caught yourself in a conversation, not fully listening, but simply waiting for your turn to speak? This might be creating distance between you and your loved ones.
Active listening goes beyond just hearing words; it reflects a genuine effort to grasp the other person’s perspective.
It requires undivided attention, thoughtful feedback, and asking meaningful questions, while resisting the urge to interrupt or mentally rehearse your response.
Many of us unintentionally struggle with this. Our minds may drift, preoccupied with forming a reply or tangled in personal thoughts. Yet, true connection lies in being present for the speaker.
When you genuinely listen, you show respect and care, leaving others feeling heard and valued—a quality that deepens trust and admiration.
5) You’re not practicing empathy
Empathy — it’s a trait that’s often overlooked, but it’s a key ingredient in earning admiration.
When we practice empathy, we do more than just understand someone’s feelings. We share in them, and we respond in a way that shows our understanding.
Here are some behaviors that may indicate a lack of empathy:
- Dismissing others’ feelings as unimportant or overreacting
- Struggling to comfort others in distress
- Focusing more on your own feelings in a conversation
- Not being able to see things from another person’s perspective
People admire those who can empathize with them. It feels good to know that someone else understands your feelings and experiences.
6) You’re not showing gratitude
When was the last time you truly thanked someone from the heart?
Not the quick “thanks” we say out of habit, but a genuine, heartfelt expression of gratitude for someone’s kindness or support.
If we’re honest, we often overlook the people around us. We get so used to the small things they do that we forget to acknowledge them. I’ve caught myself doing this too.
Here’s something I’ve realized: people feel valued and appreciated when we thank them sincerely. It’s a simple act that shows we see their efforts and care about them.
Let’s make it a habit to express our gratitude more intentionally. A sincere “thank you” can strengthen relationships and foster positivity—not just for them, but for us too.
It’s a small gesture with a big impact, and one that naturally draws admiration.
7) You’re not taking care of yourself
Imagine this: you’re on a flight, and the oxygen masks drop down. What’s your first move?
The instructions are simple: secure your own mask first, then assist others. The reason is clear—you can’t effectively help someone else without ensuring your own safety first.
Now think of this principle in your daily life. Are you prioritizing your well-being, or are you constantly putting others ahead of yourself while neglecting your own needs?
Taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s essential. Neglecting your physical, emotional, or mental health leaves you running on empty, with nothing left to give. Self-respect begins with making your well-being a priority.
The next time you’re tempted to put everyone else’s needs first, reflect on the airplane scenario.
Have you taken the necessary steps to secure your own strength and health first?
8) You’re not being authentic
Oscar Wilde wisely said, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” That’s advice we all should take.
Hiding behind a mask to meet others’ expectations might seem easier, but it creates frustration and shallow connections.
Pretending to be someone you’re not leads to relationships that lack depth and leaves you feeling unfulfilled.
For instance, imagine you dislike parties but attend them just to fit in. You force smiles and laughter while feeling out of place and drained.
This pretense not only disconnects you from your true self but also prevents others from knowing and valuing the real you.
In contrast, embracing authenticity fosters trust, respect, and stronger connections, helping you build relationships that feel genuine and truly fulfilling.
9) You’re not respecting boundaries
In any relationship, understanding and respecting boundaries is essential. Whether related to time, space, emotions, or personal beliefs, disregarding these limits can create discomfort and resentment.
Repeatedly overstepping boundaries, even unintentionally, can damage how others perceive you. It reflects a lack of awareness and respect for their individuality and needs.
Recognizing and honoring boundaries demonstrates maturity and empathy. It shows that you value the other person’s comfort and autonomy.
So take the time to understand the boundaries within your relationships and commit to respecting them. This thoughtful effort strengthens connections and fosters genuine admiration from those around you.
What’s your next step?
The next step is yours to take. Reflecting on these behaviors isn’t for self-criticism; it’s for growth and building deeper, more meaningful connections.
Earning genuine admiration from those who matter most isn’t a destination—it’s a journey that requires effort, self-awareness, and a willingness to change.
Start small. Focus on one behavior from this list to improve today.
Whether it’s expressing gratitude, practicing empathy, or listening with intent, each step brings you closer to becoming the person you aspire to be—the one your loved ones respect and admire deeply.
True admiration stems from authenticity and effort. By embracing these changes, you strengthen relationships and create a life filled with love, trust, and meaningful connections.
The people who truly matter deserve the best version of you, and so do you.
