7 things a master manipulator will do when they realize they can’t control you

Master manipulators are a different breed. They thrive on control and power, but what happens when they realize they can’t manipulate you?

Manipulation is all about concealment. It’s about getting you to do what the manipulator wants, but without letting you in on their real intentions.

But hey, not everyone’s a pushover, right? When a manipulator realizes their tactics aren’t working on you, they shift gears.

In this piece, I’ll uncover the seven things a master manipulator does when they finally get that they can’t pull your strings. And trust me, it’s an eye-opener!

Let’s get started.

1) They’ll play the victim

Master manipulators are experts at flipping the script. When they sense they’re losing control, they often resort to playing the victim.

It’s like a psychological magic trick, they shift from being the puppet master to a misunderstood soul. They’ll start telling tales of their woes, trying to win your sympathy and divert attention from their manipulative tactics.

This victim play is a classic diversion tactic. It’s designed to make you feel guilty for standing your ground and not falling for their tricks.

It’s a sneaky attempt to regain control by making you feel bad for them. But remember, it’s just another form of manipulation.

2) They’ll try to make you feel guilty

Ah, guilt-tripping. It’s a favorite tool in the manipulator’s toolbox and one that I’ve personally experienced.

I remember a friend who was always trying to control the dynamics of our group. She was the classic master manipulator. But when I started setting boundaries and refusing to play along with her schemes, she changed her tactics.

Suddenly, every time we’d disagree, she’d accuse me of not caring about our friendship. She’d say things like, “If you really valued me as a friend, you wouldn’t question my decisions”.

This was her way of making me feel guilty for not going along with her plans. It was an attempt to regain control by making me doubt my own judgement.

Guilt is a powerful emotion and it can cloud your decision-making process. But when someone is using guilt to control you, it’s important to recognize it for what it is – another form of manipulation.

3) They’ll resort to gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the manipulator tries to make you question your own reality and sanity. The term originated from the 1944 film “Gaslight,” where a husband uses a variety of tricks to make his wife believe she’s going insane.

When a master manipulator realizes they can’t control you, they might resort to gaslighting. They’ll start questioning your memory of events or your perception of reality. They’ll insist that things didn’t happen the way you remember, or that your feelings are irrational.

This form of manipulation is particularly insidious because it can undermine your trust in yourself. But recognizing it for what it is can be the first step in resisting it.

4) They’ll start to discredit you

When a manipulator senses they’re losing their grip, they’ll often try to undermine your credibility. It’s a desperate attempt to regain control by making others see you as unreliable, irrational, or even crazy.

They might spread rumors about you, twist your words, or play up your mistakes in front of others. Their aim is to sow doubt about your character and judgement, hoping that this will shift the balance of power back in their favor.

It’s a low blow, but it’s a common tactic among master manipulators.

5) They’ll give you the silent treatment

Silence can be deafening, especially when it’s used as a weapon. I’ve been on the receiving end of this tactic, and let me tell you, it’s not pleasant.

One moment, everything seems fine, and the next, you’re met with cold silence. It’s confusing and hurtful. You’re left wondering what you did wrong and why they’re suddenly treating you like a stranger.

This silent treatment is a manipulative tactic to make you feel anxious, guilty, and desperate to fix things. It’s their way of showing dissatisfaction without uttering a word – a strike designed to make you scramble back under their control.

Communication is key in any relationship. If they choose silence over conversation, it’s more about them than it is about you. Don’t let their silence dictate your worth or your actions.

6) They’ll become overly critical

Criticism can be constructive, but when used by a master manipulator, it’s often anything but helpful. When they realize they’re losing control, they may resort to constant criticism.

They’ll nitpick your actions, decisions, and even your personality traits. Nothing seems to be good enough for them anymore. Their goal is to make you feel insecure and dependent on their approval.

This constant barrage of negative feedback can be exhausting and damaging to your self-esteem. But it’s crucial to remember that their criticism more often reflects their insecurities than any real fault with you.

Stand strong and don’t let their harsh words shake your confidence. You are more than their unfair judgments.

7) They’ll threaten to withdraw

The ultimate power play of a manipulator is threatening to leave or withdraw their support. It’s a ploy designed to trigger your fear of abandonment or loss.

They want you to feel that without them, you’ll be alone, helpless, or unloved. It’s a cruel tactic that plays on your vulnerabilities and attempts to force you back under their control.

But remember this: anyone who threatens to leave you just to maintain control doesn’t truly value you. True relationships are built on mutual respect and understanding, not fear and manipulation.

Stand firm. Your worth is not defined by their presence or absence in your life. You’re stronger than their threats and stronger than any manipulator’s tactics.

Final thoughts: It’s about power

Manipulation, at its core, is about power and control. It’s a twisted game where the manipulator uses various tactics to maintain their hold over others.

Understanding these tactics is your first line of defense. From playing the victim and guilt-tripping, to gaslighting and threatening to withdraw, these are all strategies designed to destabilize you and reclaim their lost control.

But here’s the key takeaway: you’re not powerless. In fact, recognizing these moves for what they are is a big step towards reclaiming your power.

Remember, your worth is not determined by their approval or disapproval. Your value cannot be diminished by their criticism or inflated by their praise. You are more than their attempts to control you.

So stand firm and hold onto your truth. Because at the end of the day, no one has the power to manipulate you without your consent.

Picture of Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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