When someone gives you a hug, you feel loved. When someone listens to you, you feel valued. That’s the basics of human interaction, right?
Well, it’s not always that straightforward. As we age, we often carry certain behaviors that can hinder us from feeling loved.
Luckily, I’ve identified 8 specific behaviors you might need to bid farewell as you grow older.
In this piece titled “If you want to feel more loved as you get older, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors”, I’ll show you how to do just that. Let’s dive in.
1) Holding onto grudges
Nothing sours relationships like a grudge.
It’s like a dark cloud that follows you around, casting a shadow over your interactions.
It can make you bitter, resentful, and generally unpleasant to be around.
As we age, we accumulate more experiences, and unfortunately, some of them are bound to be negative. But holding onto these negative experiences is a surefire way to alienate the people who care about us.
Why? Because it’s hard to feel love when you’re consumed by resentment.
The solution? Let go of the grudges.
It’s not always easy, but it’s a crucial step if you want to feel more loved as you grow older.
Next time you find yourself stewing over past wrongs, take a deep breath and remind yourself that we all make mistakes. And then let it go.
Because at the end of the day, isn’t love more important than holding onto negative feelings? I think so, and I bet you do too.
2) Fear of vulnerability
This one’s a toughie.
Back in my younger years, I was the queen of building walls. I had a fortress around my heart that would rival the best medieval castles. My logic was, if I don’t expose my feelings, I can’t be hurt.
Boy, was I wrong.
All it did was isolate me from genuine connections. People couldn’t get close because I wouldn’t let them.
As a result, I felt more alone than ever before.
Over time, I realized that this fear of vulnerability was depriving me of the love and affection I craved. So, I decided to take down the walls brick by brick.
And yes, sometimes it hurts. Sometimes people disappoint you.
But more often than not, opening up allows you to form deep, meaningful relationships that are filled with love.
If you’re like the old me and fear vulnerability, consider this your wake-up call. Open up, let people in and watch as you feel more loved than ever before.
3) The need for constant validation
Did you know that humans are the only species that seek validation from others? It’s a fascinating part of our social nature, but it can become problematic when we start to rely on it too much.
Constantly seeking approval from others puts your self-worth in their hands. And let’s face it, that’s a pretty shaky foundation.
If you want to feel more loved as you get older, it’s important to cultivate a sense of self-worth that comes from within.
Instead of looking for validation from others, start acknowledging your own accomplishments and celebrating your own wins. Trust me, it’ll make a world of difference.
4) Overthinking everything
Overthinking is a trap that’s easy to fall into.
You replay conversations in your head, analyze every little detail, and worry about what others might think or feel.
It’s exhausting, and it can create a barrier between you and the love you deserve.
The reality is, most of the time people aren’t scrutinizing your every move. They’re too busy dealing with their own lives.
Give yourself a break from the mental gymnastics.
When you stop overthinking, you’ll find that it’s easier to connect with others on a deeper level, and feel the love that’s been there all along.
5) Being overly critical
I’ll be honest, I used to be my own harshest critic. I would nit-pick every little thing I did, always finding something that I could improve on. While self-improvement isn’t a bad thing, this constant self-critique was.
I was so focused on what was wrong with me that I couldn’t see all the things that were right.
And this negativity seeped into my relationships, making it harder for others to express their love towards me.
The moment I stopped being so hard on myself, I noticed a big shift.
Not only did I start feeling better about myself, but I also felt more loved by the people around me.
If you’re being overly critical of yourself, take a step back and give yourself some credit. You’re doing better than you think, and you are definitely worthy of love.
6) Always being the giver
We often think that the more we give, the more love we’ll receive in return.
But here’s a twist: always being the giver can actually make you feel less loved.
When you’re always the one giving, you’re not allowing others to express their love for you. You’re not giving them the opportunity to show their care, their affection, their gratitude.
Don’t forget, receiving is just as important as giving when it comes to feeling loved.
So let others do something for you. Accept their help, their gifts, their compliments.
It might take some getting used to, but trust me, it’s worth it.
7) Avoiding conflict
It’s natural to want to avoid conflict. After all, who enjoys arguing?
But here’s the thing – avoiding conflict doesn’t mean you’re maintaining peace.
In fact, it often means you’re suppressing your feelings and needs, which can lead to resentment and distance in your relationships.
Healthy conflict, on the other hand, can actually bring you closer to others.
It allows you to express your feelings, understand each other better, and find a solution that works for both parties.
Don’t shy away from conflict. Embrace it as an opportunity for growth and connection.
You’ll find that as you get better at navigating conflict, you’ll also feel more loved and understood.
8) Not practicing self-love
The most important behavior to say goodbye to, if you want to feel more loved as you get older, is neglecting self-love.
You cannot fully receive love from others if you don’t love yourself first. It’s like trying to fill a cup with a hole in the bottom.
No matter how much love others pour in, it will never be enough until you patch that hole with self-love.
Start treating yourself with the same kindness, compassion, and respect you offer to others. Value your own worth and celebrate your unique qualities.
When you love yourself, you radiate positivity and become a magnet for love from others. It’s the key to feeling loved as you get older.
Final thoughts
As we journey through life, it becomes evident that feeling loved isn’t just about the affection we receive from others.
It’s also about how we perceive ourselves and our behaviors.
Saying goodbye to these 8 behaviors isn’t an overnight task. It’s a journey of self-discovery, acceptance, and change.
The path may be challenging, but the reward is priceless: a life filled with love and warmth.
Remember, love is not a scarce resource that you must fight to earn. It is abundant and ever-present, waiting for you to tap into it.
As you grow older, may you not only seek love but also cultivate it within yourself.
In the words of Oscar Wilde, “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”
Here’s to a future filled with love, acceptance, and growth.
