Don’t Name, Blame and Shame … It’s Not Helpful

  • 1 min read
Cover Eyes

536143522_607b86c774We all have the tendency to blame.

It’s human nature.

However, it’s also not productive.

Name, Blame and Shame

You may have heard of this before and you may even be guilty of doing it. I know I am. I’m not proud of it either. I hope my experiences and suggestions below can help you. Perhaps the next time you feel the urge to Name, Blame and Shame you’ll be able to use these ideas to re-direct your energies into something more productive.

But, I want to VENT!

This is not an uncommon emotional response. Emotions are good. They are part of being human. And, by no means am I suggesting that the emotions be removed from your business and personal relationships. It’s part of what makes us human. However, there may be a better way.

What Else Can You Do?

Here are a few ideas

  • Seek first to understand – This is the 5th habit of Dr. Stephen Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and can be quite helpful. The second part of the 5th habit is “then to be understood” which is where most people start. They want to get their points across and sometimes not be willing to hear or even consider the other side. (This is an affiliate link, so we may earn a commission if you buy. It costs you nothing extra.)
  • Think SBO – Where SBO means Step Back Optimism. It’s something I came up with years ago. The idea and the intent is that when things seem to be at their darkest moment or seems to be going completely sideways … take a step back and view the situation in an optimistic light. It’s not always easy, but I have found it to be quite enlightening when I take on a bigger picture view.
  • Take a deep breath – This is an oldie and still a goodie. As your mother, teacher, manager or significant other may have told you. Taking a deep and cleansing breath can truly help you flush away some of the bad air surrounding you and inside of you.

These aren’t just platitudes

It should come as no surprise that everybody’s situation is different. By taking a few moments and realizing that your situation, your experiences, your worldview is in fact different than others.

Whether you just take a breath, take a literal or figurative step back and/or seek to understand you will be able to look at the situation differently and be able to have a perspective you may not have had just one breath ago.

Define, Destroy or Strengthen
When something happens we have three choices.

We can let it Define, Destroy or Strengthen us. You get to decide. YOU GET TO DECIDE!

Next time …

Instead of letting someone get under your skin and cause you to lash out with Naming, Blaming and Shaming … first take a moment to Seek Understanding, Step Back or Take a Deep Breath. Perhaps all three.

You’ll likely feel better and you’ll be able to look at the situation in a new light.

Try it. What have you got to lose? To my mind… the only think you’ve got to lose is the desire the name, blame and shame. While taking the situation on in a productive manner … warts and all.

What do you do instead of naming, blaming and shaming?

What tips have can you share for helping people cope with difficult situations? Add a comment here and let us know. Perhaps we can all learn a few things from you … the reader. Thanks in advance for taking a few minutes to share your thoughts.

Picture of Jeff Shuey

Jeff Shuey

Jeff is an expert in the Enterprise Content Management industry. He brings over 20 years of Channel Sales, Partner Marketing and Alliance expertise to audiences around the world in speaking engagements and via his writing. He has worked for Microsoft, Kodak, and K2. He is currently consulting with Microsoft and partners to drive Community Engagement and Alliances. Follow him on Twitter @jshuey or on LinkedIn: in/JeffShuey

TRENDING AROUND THE WEB

University of Arizona researchers wired 79 people with a recorder sampling conversations every 12.5 minutes for four days and found the happiest had twice as many substantive conversations and a third as much small talk as the unhappiest, suggesting the discomfort was never a social deficit.

University of Arizona researchers wired 79 people with a recorder sampling conversations every 12.5 minutes for four days and found the happiest had twice as many substantive conversations and a third as much small talk as the unhappiest, suggesting the discomfort was never a social deficit.

Global English Editing
A landmark study found that Catholic nuns who wrote sparse, simple autobiographies in their early twenties, when they entered the convent in the 1930s, were far more likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease roughly six decades later, with about 80 percent of the low-complexity writers eventually developing the disease compared to only 10 percent of those whose youthful essays were dense with ideas

A landmark study found that Catholic nuns who wrote sparse, simple autobiographies in their early twenties, when they entered the convent in the 1930s, were far more likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease roughly six decades later, with about 80 percent of the low-complexity writers eventually developing the disease compared to only 10 percent of those whose youthful essays were dense with ideas

Global English Editing
Researchers reported in 2026 that they could plant a specific unsolved puzzle into a person’s dreams during REM sleep, and volunteers who dreamed about that puzzle were measurably more likely to solve it after waking up than volunteers who did not

Researchers reported in 2026 that they could plant a specific unsolved puzzle into a person’s dreams during REM sleep, and volunteers who dreamed about that puzzle were measurably more likely to solve it after waking up than volunteers who did not

The Blog Herald
Jordan Peterson opens Rule 6 of “12 Rules for Life” by asking, “If you can’t even clean up your own room, who the hell are you to give advice to the world?” — arguing that the discipline to fix a small mess is the same discipline a marriage, a career, or a country eventually demands.

Jordan Peterson opens Rule 6 of “12 Rules for Life” by asking, “If you can’t even clean up your own room, who the hell are you to give advice to the world?” — arguing that the discipline to fix a small mess is the same discipline a marriage, a career, or a country eventually demands.

Global English Editing
Happier people spent more time in meaningful conversation, a recorder study found, and when a larger study checked, that link held and the case against small talk did not

Happier people spent more time in meaningful conversation, a recorder study found, and when a larger study checked, that link held and the case against small talk did not

The Vessel
A newly built AI data center in New Mexico is reportedly drawing far more water from a drought stressed region than the company’s own public estimates suggested it would, straining a community that welcomed the project mainly for its promised jobs

A newly built AI data center in New Mexico is reportedly drawing far more water from a drought stressed region than the company’s own public estimates suggested it would, straining a community that welcomed the project mainly for its promised jobs

The Blog Herald
Load more
CATEGORIES
Explore