It can happen to anyone. One minute you think you have everything under control and the next you are out of control.
Work really is a fairly emotional place but we are socialized to keep those emotions in check. Hey, we’re humans right? Too much stress, frustration and overload can lead to moments of unchecked emotion including flashes of anger.
It can happen to the best of us. I thought of writing about this topic after seeing the item about AOL CEO Tim Armstrong loosing his cool on CNBC. I could just imagine all the preparation and hard work that had gone into Armstrong’s address to his audience of about 1,000 staff members at Patch.com via conference call. While in full flight delivering his message about how there would be job losses or “impacts” and the need for everyone to pull together, Armstrong spotted the creative director recording the event and after telling him to “put that camera down” fired him on the spot. Bam.
In that moment – whatever the explanation – the personal brand of being a commanding and in control CEO was lost.
So what can you do if you lose your temper given that it is fairly odds-on at some point during your career given the number of years you will be working?
Be armed with self-awareness
Our resilience differs depending on the circumstances in any given moment but also our own little back-story for that day. If you know you are especially tired, struggling to cope with an increasing workload or have been letting your good health habits slide then you are going to be more vulnerable to showing emotion at work. As much as possible, try to avoid situations that will test you. Schedule that difficult meeting for another time or don’t tackle that errant supplier today. If you really cannot avoid the situation then at least be aware your resilience is lower than normal and remember to breath.
Be quick to apologize
If you do lose your temper be quick to apologize and just own it. A face-to-face apology sans excuses is best. Armstrong’s slip made headlines around the world but so has his follow up apology, which he made personally to the staff member in question and to his team more generally via a memo. In Armstrong’s case he did make an excuse explaining that the staff member had previously been told not to record confidential meetings and the fact he did so again “drove my actions”.
Make peace with your boss
After your public apology to the target or targets of your anger, go see your boss to provide a more expansive explanation (that does not mean labored) with the emphasis on what you are doing to ensure things get back to BAU ASAP.
Don’t “wear” the incident
You are normally a nice person right? You’re passionate and care about the job and that may have lead to your exasperation. And there could have been external factors like too much work and not enough sleep/exercise. Be sure and re-focus on your positive personal brand as soon as you have owned up and made amends. Sometimes we deflect guilt and embarrassment with self-depreciating humor and before we know it, we have re-shaped our personal brand.
Author:
Kate Southam has been giving people advice on careers for 13 years. She has been the editor of a career website, author of a syndicated newspaper column and remains a regular blogger. She also continues to coach individuals as well as provide commentary on careers and workplace issues to TV, radio and magazines. Kate is also a communications consultant advising businesses. Follow Kate on Twitter @KateSoutham
