We all have that one person in our lives who just drains our energy. The one who, no matter how much we care about them, leaves us feeling exhausted.
It’s not always easy to pinpoint why they’re so draining, but there are common behaviors that such people often display.
In this article, we’ll delve into the 7 such behaviors that could be the culprits.
Let’s dive in.
1) Constant negativity
We all have our bad days, right?
Sure. But there’s a difference between dealing with a difficult time and being perpetually negative.
People who are always complaining or looking on the dark side can be exhausting to be around. It’s like they’re a dark cloud casting a shadow over everything and everyone.
More than that, their negative energy can be contagious. As Jim Rohn famously said, “You are the average of the five people you spend most time with.” If you’re constantly surrounded by naysayers, it’s only a matter of time before their pessimism starts to rub off on you.
It’s crucial to recognize this behavior and take steps to protect your own well-being.
2) A victim mentality
Do you have someone in your life that, no matter what happens, they’re never to blame?
You know how it is. Their boss is unfair, their friends are disloyal, their partner doesn’t appreciate them, and the universe itself seems to have a personal vendetta against them.
When they mess up, it’s because of someone else. When something doesn’t go their way, it’s never their fault.
Sound familiar?
At first, you might feel empathy for their struggles. After all, we all face challenges in life, and everyone deserves support during tough times.
But when it becomes clear that they thrive on their sense of helplessness, it starts to wear on you. Every conversation feels like an emotional dumping ground where they unload their woes without any intention of finding solutions.
Here’s the kicker: this behavior often comes from a deep need for validation. By casting themselves as the perpetual victim, they draw attention, sympathy, and even a sense of importance.
But the emotional cost to the people around them? That’s a different story.
The problem is, being stuck in the victim mindset keeps them (and you, if you’re constantly exposed to it) in a loop of negativity.
It’s exhausting to always be someone’s emotional safety net, especially when they’re unwilling to take accountability or seek real solutions.
While it’s good to be compassionate, it’s equally important to set boundaries. You can’t pour from an empty cup—and you shouldn’t have to.
3) Self-centeredness
Let’s be honest—we’re all the main characters in our own novels. It’s natural to see life through the lens of our own experiences.
But (and it’s a big but)… some people take this “main character energy” to a whole new level.
These are the folks who dominate every conversation, make everything about them, and rarely—if ever—ask how you’re doing. When you share something personal, they manage to twist it back to their own life.
Got a new job? They’ll find a way to one-up you with a story about their career. Feeling down? Somehow, their hardships are always worse. Sound familiar?
If so, you’ll know it’s pretty draining. As the folks at Very Well Mind note: You may even feel used because you’ve given them so much of your time, energy, attention, and support without receiving much in return.”
If you find yourself in a relationship like this, ask yourself: are they capable of showing up for you the way you show up for them?
If the answer is no, it might be time to set boundaries and reclaim your energy.
4) Constant criticism
Ever been around someone who has a knack for pointing out your faults or criticizing your actions? It can be a real downer, can’t it?
People who are persistently critical can wear you down and deplete your energy. They make you feel like you’re always on the defensive, constantly needing to justify your actions or decisions.
This relentless criticism can stir feelings of insecurity and self-doubt, leaving you in a state of perpetual discomfort. It’s important to recognize this behavior for what it is – an energy-draining trait that can sap your positivity and peace of mind.
5) A lack of reciprocation
Relationships are a two-way street, whether it’s between friends, family, or significant others. It’s about give and take, about caring for each other.
But what happens when you’re the one always giving, and they’re the one always taking?
It feels as though your efforts, your care, your time, and your energy are exploited, with no consideration for your needs. You pour out love and support, only to receive indifference or neglect in return.
This lack of reciprocation can leave you feeling used and worn out. It’s important to understand that healthy relationships involve mutual respect and care. It’s not selfish to expect some degree of reciprocity from the people you invest your time and energy in.
6) Making everything a competition
Healthy competition can motivate us to do better, but when someone turns every interaction into a contest, it becomes exhausting.
Individuals who always need to be the best, the most successful, or the most recognized often make those around them feel inferior or inadequate. It’s as if your worth is constantly being measured against theirs.
This relentless competitiveness can drain your energy and take the joy out of shared experiences. Recognizing this behavior can help you understand why interactions with such individuals leave you feeling worn out.
7) A lack of empathy
You know that hollow feeling you get when you share something meaningful, and the other person doesn’t seem to care?
That’s what it’s like dealing with someone who lacks empathy. They can’t—or won’t—see things from anyone else’s perspective.
Empathy is the foundation of meaningful relationships. Without it, there’s no room for connection, vulnerability, or trust. And when someone consistently fails to meet you with compassion, it chips away at your emotional energy, leaving you drained and disheartened.
At the end of the day, relationships with people who lack empathy are rarely fulfilling. If someone isn’t capable of meeting you halfway emotionally, it’s worth asking yourself how much of your time and energy you’re willing to keep giving.
Final thoughts
Recognizing these energy-draining behaviors is the first step toward protecting your own mental and emotional well-being.
While it’s important to show compassion, it’s just as important to set boundaries and prioritize yourself. After all, your time and energy are limited—spend them wisely on people who uplift and support you.
Sometimes, the best way to recharge is to step away. You deserve that.
