For most of my life, I was always rushing to the next thing.
You know the drill:
– Constantly checking the clock
– Always planning ahead
– Never fully present
– Living in a perpetual state of stress and worry.
The result? I was missing out on the actual moments of my life.
I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit and a huge psychology enthusiast.
My lowest point came a few years back. I was constantly busy, but I never felt truly fulfilled or content.
That’s when I realized: if I wanted to start genuinely living in the moment, I needed to say goodbye to certain behaviors that were holding me back.
In this article, I’ll share with you these 8 behaviors that were stealing my joy and presence.
By letting go of these, I’ve managed to transform my life. I hope they can do the same for you.
Let’s dive in.
1) Overplanning
The first behavior I had to let go of was overplanning.
As a psychology enthusiast, I was well aware of the importance of having goals and plans.
I was so wrapped up in planning every minute detail of my life that I was missing out on the beauty of unplanned moments.
Overplanning made me rigid and anxious about the future.
It kept me from truly enjoying my present because I was always worried about sticking to the plan, meeting deadlines, or thinking about what’s next.
I realized that while having plans is good, being too attached to them can rob us of our ability to live in the moment.
So, I started practicing flexibility. I made plans, but I also allowed myself the freedom to deviate from them.
I learned to embrace spontaneity and welcomed unexpected events as opportunities for growth and learning.
If you’re an overplanner like I used to be, try loosening your grip a little. Allow some room for spontaneity and see how it enriches your life.
2) Dwelling on the past
The second behavior I had to say goodbye to was dwelling on the past.
I used to obsess over my past mistakes, constantly replaying them in my mind. It was like I was stuck in a loop of regret and self-blame.
Not only did this steal my present joy, but it also hindered my personal growth.
I remember a time when I missed an important deadline for a project at Hack Spirit.
I was so caught up in my failure that I couldn’t focus on the new projects that were piling up. It was a vicious cycle.
Then I came across this quote from renowned psychologist Carl Jung: “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” It hit me hard.
I realized that dwelling on the past only chains us to it. We cannot change what happened, but we can decide how we move forward.
So, I started practicing forgiveness towards myself. Each time I found myself reliving a past mistake, I’d consciously choose to shift my focus back to the present.
If you’re someone who tends to dwell on the past, try this approach.
Recognize that the past is gone and cannot be changed.
3) Constantly comparing myself to others
Another behavior I needed to drop was constantly comparing myself to others.
In this digital age where everyone’s lives are on display, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap.
I found myself doing it all the time, whether it was comparing Hack Spirit’s success to other websites or my own personal achievements to my peers.
One day, I noticed that a competitor’s website was getting more traffic than Hack Spirit. I spent the entire day feeling down and questioning every decision I had made.
It was exhausting and unproductive.
I realized that comparison is a losing game. There will always be someone doing ‘better’ or ‘worse’ in some aspect of life. The key is to focus on my own journey and growth.
Instead of comparing myself to others, I began focusing on my own progress. I started celebrating my small wins and learned to appreciate the journey rather than just the destination.
If you find yourself constantly comparing your life to others, try shifting your focus.
Celebrate your own achievements, however small they may seem, and appreciate your individual journey.
4) Neglecting self-care
Another behavior I needed to let go of was neglecting self-care.
Between managing Hack Spirit and trying to keep up with life’s demands, I found myself constantly on the go, ignoring my own needs.
I was always tired, stressed, and irritable. My productivity started to drop, and I realized that I was neglecting my own well-being.
Ironically, it was during my research for an article that I came across a study by the American Psychological Association that highlighted the importance of self-care.
The study found that regular self-care activities can reduce stress, improve mental health, and increase productivity.
I started incorporating self-care into my routine. It wasn’t easy; I had to consciously make time for it.
But the benefits were undeniable. I felt less stressed, more focused, and overall happier.
Remember to prioritize your own well-being. Incorporate regular self-care activities into your routine – it could be as simple as a 10-minute meditation or a short walk in the park.
Your mind and body will thank you for it.
5) Always seeking validation
The fifth behavior I had to kick to the curb was constantly seeking validation from others.
I found myself always looking for approval, whether it was for my work at Hack Spirit, my personal decisions, or even my appearance.
This constant need for validation was exhausting and left me feeling insecure. I was giving others the power to determine my worth.
I realized that the only approval I need is from myself.
So, I started practicing self-validation. Instead of seeking approval from others, I began to trust my own judgment and decisions.
If you’re in the habit of constantly seeking validation from others, remember this: Your worth is not determined by others’ opinions of you.
Trust yourself, value your own judgments, and learn to validate yourself.
6) Resisting change
The next behavior I had to let go of was resisting change.
I’ve always been someone who likes routines and predictability. When things didn’t go as planned or when unexpected changes occurred, I found myself stressed and anxious.
I remember when a key member of the Hack Spirit team decided to move on. I was panicked, worried about how we would manage without them. It felt like a major setback.
That’s when I stumbled upon this quote from psychologist Carl Rogers: “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.”
It struck a chord with me. I realized that change is not just inevitable; it’s necessary for growth.
Instead of resisting it, I started embracing change. I began viewing it as an opportunity for learning and personal development.
And guess what? We managed just fine at Hack Spirit, and the experience taught me valuable lessons about adaptability and resilience.
If you’re someone who resists change, try shifting your perspective. Embrace change as an opportunity for growth and learning.
7) Multitasking
The seventh behavior might come as a surprise: multitasking.
For a long time, I thought multitasking was a skill. I would often find myself juggling multiple tasks at once, thinking it made me more productive.
But in reality, it was doing more harm than good. I was constantly stressed, my work quality suffered, and I hardly ever felt present in the moment.
I came to understand that when we multitask, we’re not fully engaged in any of the tasks we’re doing. Our attention is divided, and we’re not giving our best to any of our tasks.
So, I decided to say goodbye to multitasking and adopted the practice of single-tasking.
I started focusing on one task at a time, giving it my full attention before moving on to the next.
The result? Less stress, better-quality work, and a greater sense of presence.
If you’re a chronic multitasker, try this counterintuitive approach: single-tasking.
Choose one task and dedicate your full attention to it. You’ll be surprised at how much more productive and present you’ll feel.
Conclusion
Saying goodbye to these behaviors wasn’t easy, but the rewards have been immeasurable. I’ve learned to live in the moment, and I’ve become a happier, more focused, and more content individual.
Change doesn’t happen overnight. Start small; choose one behavior you want to work on and take baby steps. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small.
The key to genuinely living in the moment isn’t just about saying goodbye to these behaviors; it’s about replacing them with healthier ones.
Practice mindfulness, be kind to yourself, embrace change, and most importantly, enjoy the journey.
Life is happening right here, right now. Don’t let these behaviors steal your present.
Here’s a final piece of advice: Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect. Start living in the moment today.
