Navigating the parent-child relationship when your kids become adults can be tricky.
However, some have cracked the code and have a friendship with their adult children that many envy.
It’s not a fluke. There are specific behaviors that can foster this kind of bond, according to psychologists. Don’t worry, you don’t have to guess what these behaviors are.
Once you understand what they are, you can incorporate them into your relationship with your adult children. Ready to find out?
In this article, we’ll delve into these behaviors for you.
1) Open communication is key
Psychologists highlight the importance of open communication in maintaining a strong bond between parents and their adult children. It’s not just about talking, but about how we talk.
This isn’t akin to the parent-child communication of their younger years, where the parent is often instructing or guiding.
Rather, it’s a two-way street, characterized by mutual respect and understanding.
When parents can communicate with their adult children like they would with a close friend – sharing personal stories, listening to their opinions without judgement, and offering advice when asked – it creates a foundation for a deep, enduring friendship.
It’s not just about talking more; it’s about fostering an environment where your adult child feels comfortable expressing themselves freely.
That’s the first step to becoming best friends with your adult child.
2) Mutual respect is non-negotiable
I’ve noticed in my own relationships and through observing others that a key behavior in these unique parent-child friendships is mutual respect.
This isn’t just about respecting their choices, but also about respecting them as individuals. For instance, my daughter has a passion for painting, even though it is far from my own interests.
I may not fully understand her fascination with different brush strokes or color palettes, but I respect her passion.
I listen to her talk about it, ask questions, and even attend art exhibitions with her.
It’s about letting go of the parental control we might have exercised when they were younger and allowing them to make their own decisions – even if we don’t always agree.
It’s about trusting them to know what’s best for them.
This kind of mutual respect doesn’t just keep the lines of communication open; it also strengthens the bond of friendship between us.
3) Embrace change and growth
As humans, our personalities, interests, and beliefs evolve over time.
This is especially true for young adults who are out on their own for the first time, exploring who they are and what they want from life.
Psychologists have found that parents who can adapt to the changes in their adult children’s lives and continue to connect with them on a deeper level are more likely to build a better friendship.
It’s about embracing their growth and evolution as individuals, and allowing your relationship to grow with them.
This adaptability can pave the way for a deeper friendship.
4) Practice active listening
Active listening is a crucial aspect in any successful relationship, and it’s no different when it comes to fostering a friendship with your adult children.
Psychologists affirm that when parents make an effort to listen – truly listen – to their adult children, it makes them feel valued and heard.
This means giving them your full attention when they speak, not interrupting them and responding in a way that shows you’ve understood their point of view.
Active listening also involves showing empathy and understanding. Even if you’ve never been in their exact situation, showing that you can understand their feelings can go a long way.
In essence, active listening is about making the other person feel important and appreciated.
When your adult child feels this way, it can help solidify your bond and pave the way for a strong friendship.
5) Support their dreams and ambitions
When my son told me he wanted to quit his well-paying corporate job to start a non-profit organization, my first reaction was fear.
The uncertainty of it all was overwhelming. But then I remembered the sparkle in his eyes while he talked about his plans, the passion in his voice.
Supporting your adult child’s dreams and ambitions can be challenging, especially when it involves risk.
But it’s crucial for building a strong friendship. It shows them that you believe in them, and it gives them the confidence they need to pursue their goals.
Regardless of the outcome, knowing that they have your unwavering support can make all the difference.
It’s about celebrating their successes, encouraging them when they stumble, and reminding them that you’re there for them no matter what.
This is a cornerstone in nurturing a genuine friendship with your adult child.
6) Respect their boundaries
As parents, it can sometimes be challenging to respect the boundaries our adult children set.
We may feel inclined to offer advice or help even when it’s not asked for. However, respecting their boundaries is crucial for maintaining a healthy friendship.
Just like any other friendship, the relationship with your adult child needs space to breathe. It’s important to remember that they are adults who have their own lives and responsibilities.
Unwanted interference can lead to resentment and strain the relationship.
By respecting their space and recognizing their need for autonomy, parents can foster a strong bond that is based on mutual trust and respect.
This can greatly enhance the quality of the friendship between parents and their adult children.
7) Love unconditionally
At the core of every strong friendship between parents and their adult children is unconditional love.
This means accepting them for who they are, with all their strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures, and loving them regardless.
Unconditional love is about celebrating their individuality, respecting their choices, supporting their dreams, and being there for them no matter what.
It’s not about expecting anything in return or trying to mould them into who we want them to be.
This unconditional love forms a solid foundation for a deep, meaningful friendship.
It’s the kind of love that says “I’m here for you no matter what”, creating a safe space where your adult child feels valued, understood, and loved.
And that’s the most important aspect of being best friends with your adult children.
