We often come across individuals who seem extremely strong, unshakeable even. But have you ever stopped to think that beneath that robust exterior, they might be nursing a broken heart?
Well, I’ve observed that those who are inwardly damaged yet outwardly resilient typically exhibit certain subtle behaviors. These signs are easily missed unless we’re really paying attention.
I’ve put together a list of 9 understated behaviors these people usually display.
Let’s dive in.
1) They are masters of disguise
Isn’t it fascinating how some people can hide their true emotions behind a veil of strength? I’ve noticed this is a common trait among those who are inwardly broken but outwardly strong.
These individuals typically have an uncanny ability to mask their inner turmoil. They’re like chameleons, seamlessly blending into their surroundings, maintaining a facade of strength and composure. To an outsider, they may come across as supremely confident, even unflappable.
It’s like they’re playing a role, constantly acting out the part of the strong one, the dependable one. But underneath that performance, there’s a river of emotions they’re wrestling with daily.
This behavior is a coping mechanism, a way for them to manage their inner struggles while keeping up appearances. But remember, it’s not about being deceptive; it’s about survival.
2) They find solace in solitude
Here’s something personal about me, Lachlan Brown: I relish my alone time. And I’ve found that this is a common trait among those who are inwardly broken but outwardly strong.
We find comfort in our own company, often preferring solitude over social gatherings. It’s not that we don’t enjoy being around people, it’s just that solitude gives us the space to process our emotions and recharge.
I remember a time when I was going through a particularly rough patch. On the outside, I was still the same – reliable, calm, and strong. But inside, I was grappling with a storm of emotions. Instead of seeking company, I found myself drawn to the serenity of solitude. It was during these quiet moments that I could truly confront my feelings and work through them.
They might just be trying to heal their inner wounds in the best way they know how: in solitude.
3) They often possess a heightened sense of empathy
In the realm of psychology, there’s a remarkable correlation between personal hardship and the development of empathy. Those who are inwardly broken but outwardly strong tend to have an elevated sense of empathy.
This heightened empathic sensitivity isn’t born out of thin air. Instead, it’s often a byproduct of their own inner struggles. These individuals understand pain on a deeply personal level, making them more attuned to the emotional states of those around them.
Their own experiences have equipped them with the ability to identify and relate to the emotional distress of others. This makes them exceptional listeners and confidants, as they can understand and validate the feelings of others without judgement.
If you come across someone who seems incredibly empathic, they may well be carrying their own silent burdens. Their outward strength is not just a facade, but also a testament to their resilience and ability to connect deeply with others.
4) They practice acceptance and let go of resistance
One of the most profound teachings in Buddhism is the concept of acceptance. Here’s something intriguing I’ve found: those who are inwardly broken but outwardly strong often embody this principle.
They understand that life is full of ups and downs, and instead of resisting these inevitable fluctuations, they choose to accept them. They embrace their brokenness, seeing it not as a flaw, but a part of their journey.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve deeper into this concept. I explore how the practice of acceptance can lead to a life free from the clutches of ego, and how it can help us navigate life’s challenges with grace and fortitude.
These individuals have mastered the art of letting go of resistance. They understand that fighting against what is happening only leads to suffering. Instead, they accept their reality, however painful it may be, and use it as a catalyst for personal growth and transformation.
5) They value authenticity over perfection
There was a time when I found myself chasing after the illusion of perfection. It was exhausting, never feeling quite good enough. Then I realized something: those of us who are inwardly broken but outwardly strong tend to prioritize authenticity over perfection.
We understand that perfection is an elusive and unrealistic standard. Instead, we embrace our flaws, our mistakes, and our past failures as integral parts of who we are. We’re not afraid to show our true selves, warts and all.
I’ve learned that it’s okay to not have it all together all the time. It’s okay to have days when I feel down, days when I’m not at my best. It’s these experiences, after all, that make me human.
6) They often avoid asking for help
Now here’s something that might seem a bit counter-intuitive: those who are inwardly broken but outwardly strong often hesitate to ask for help.
These individuals are usually seen as pillars of strength, always ready to support others, yet surprisingly reserved when it comes to seeking assistance for themselves. It’s almost as if they’ve conditioned themselves to be self-reliant to a fault.
They may fear being seen as weak, or they might not want to burden others with their problems. Some might even feel undeserving of help. It’s a complex web of emotions that keeps them from reaching out, even when they’re in dire need of support.
Their strength lies not just in their ability to bear their own burdens, but also in their silent plea for understanding and empathy.
7) They channel their pain into creativity
Something truly amazing about those who are inwardly broken but outwardly strong is their capacity to transform their pain into something beautiful and meaningful.
These individuals often channel their inner struggles into creative pursuits. Be it writing, painting, music, or any other form of artistic expression, they use creativity as an outlet for their emotions.
This act of creation serves as a therapeutic process, allowing them to vent their feelings in a healthy and constructive manner. Their art becomes a mirror to their soul, reflecting their inner turmoil in a tangible form that others can see, feel, and connect with.
8) They are introspective and self-aware
One trait I’ve observed consistently among those who are inwardly broken but outwardly strong is their deep sense of introspection and self-awareness.
These individuals spend a lot of time reflecting on their thoughts and emotions. This introspective tendency allows them to understand their feelings better and gain valuable insights about their inner self.
I, too, have found immense value in introspection. It has helped me to recognize my strengths and weaknesses, and understand how my past experiences have shaped me. It’s a journey of self-discovery that’s often challenging, but incredibly rewarding.
If you notice someone who seems deeply attuned to their inner world, they might be applying this introspective approach to cope with their hidden struggles. Their strength isn’t just about dealing with the external world; it’s also about navigating the complex landscape of their inner self.
9) They strive to uplift others
The most remarkable thing about those who are inwardly broken but outwardly strong is their desire to uplift others, even when they themselves are in pain.
These individuals often channel their own struggles into a deep understanding and compassion for others. They’re the ones who will lend a listening ear, offer words of encouragement, and provide a shoulder to lean on.
They understand that everyone has their own battles to fight, and they use their strength to help lighten the load for others. Their own pain has nurtured in them an extraordinary capacity for empathy and kindness.
If you encounter someone who consistently strives to uplift others, chances are they’ve experienced their share of inner turmoil. But through their brokenness, they’re bringing light into the lives of others, proving that strength and kindness can indeed coexist.
The hidden strength in brokenness
When we think about strength, we often visualize physical prowess or decisive leadership. But those who are inwardly broken but outwardly strong offer us a different perspective on what true strength is.
Their strength isn’t about putting on a brave face or suppressing their feelings. It’s about acknowledging their pain, embracing their brokenness, and transforming their struggles into something meaningful.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I explore this concept further. I delve into how acceptance, mindfulness, and compassion—practices central to Buddhism—can help us navigate our inner struggles with grace and resilience.
These individuals remind us that it’s okay to be vulnerable, that it’s okay to not have it all together. They show us that our perceived flaws and failures don’t define us; instead, they make us more human, more relatable.
So the next time you come across someone who seems incredibly strong despite life’s challenges, remember that they’re probably fighting battles you know nothing about. And instead of seeing them as invincible, see them as the beautifully resilient humans they are.
Remember, there’s a hidden strength in brokenness. And often, it’s our struggles that shape us into the strongest versions of ourselves.
