As individuals, it’s crucial to understand our emotional landscape and navigate it successfully. Unfortunately, not everyone is in tune with their emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence pertains to our capacity to comprehend, use, and manage our own emotions in positive ways, helping us communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict.
People with low emotional intelligence often struggle with these skills. They may exhibit certain behaviors daily that reflect their lack of emotional self-awareness or their inability to handle their feelings and those of others.
Psychology provides insight into some common behaviors of individuals with low emotional intelligence.
1) They struggle with empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a critical aspect of emotional intelligence, but not everyone is adept at it.
People with low emotional intelligence often struggle with empathy. They might find it challenging to relate to others’ experiences or feelings, making it hard for them to offer comfort or understanding when someone else is in distress.
You might notice this lack of empathy in daily interactions.
For example, they might make insensitive comments, dismiss the feelings of others, or fail to acknowledge someone else’s perspective. Maybe they often seem oblivious to the social cues indicating that someone is upset or uncomfortable.
In more extreme cases, they might even ridicule or belittle others for expressing their emotions, creating a toxic environment that stifles open communication and emotional expression.
This lack of empathy isn’t necessarily intentional or malicious – it’s often a result of their own struggle with understanding and managing emotions.
But regardless of the cause, it can make interactions with them challenging and often leaves others feeling misunderstood and unsupported.
2) They find it challenging to manage their emotions
Everyone has bad days, but for folks with low emotional intelligence, managing negative emotions can be a daily struggle.
They might experience intense mood swings, snap at others over minor issues, or let their feelings control their actions.
When things don’t go their way, they might react impulsively instead of taking a step back to process their feelings. They might have a short fuse, getting angry or upset over situations that most people would shrug off.
This inability to manage emotions effectively can make it difficult for them and those around them. It can lead to frequent conflicts, strained relationships, and a generally stressful environment.
Remember, it’s not that these individuals choose to behave this way; they often lack the tools or understanding to manage their emotions better. But knowing this behavior can help you recognize when someone may be struggling with low emotional intelligence.
3) They are often overly critical of others
People with low emotional intelligence frequently have a habit of being overly critical of others. They might point out mistakes, focus on someone’s flaws, or constantly compare others negatively to themselves or others.
Interestingly, this isn’t always because they want to bring others down. Instead, it can be a reflection of their own insecurities or their inability to handle their own shortcomings.
They might struggle to accept that everyone, including themselves, is imperfect and can make mistakes.
This behavior often comes across as harsh and judgmental, leaving others feeling demotivated and disheartened. It can also create a negative atmosphere in any social setting, making it difficult for healthy interactions to take place.
4) They have difficulty accepting criticism
No one enjoys criticism, but most of us understand that it’s part of life and growth. However, for people with low emotional intelligence, accepting constructive feedback can be an uphill battle.
They might become defensive or angry when confronted with criticism, even when it’s meant to help them. They may take it personally, seeing it as an attack on their character rather than an opportunity for improvement.
In some cases, they may even lash out or shut down completely, refusing to acknowledge the feedback. This reaction not only hampers their personal growth but can also strain relationships and create tension in various social settings.
This harsh reality is a common trait in folks with low emotional intelligence and a clear indicator of their struggle to deal with negative emotions in a healthy and productive manner.
5) They struggle with maintaining relationships
Maintaining healthy relationships requires empathy, understanding, and effective communication – all elements of emotional intelligence. As such, individuals with low emotional intelligence often find it challenging to keep lasting relationships.
They might have a history of broken friendships or strained family ties. They may find it difficult to connect deeply with others or understand their needs and feelings. This often leads to misunderstandings, conflicts, and ultimately, the breakdown of relationships.
It’s important to remember that these individuals aren’t necessarily bad or uncaring. They’re just struggling to navigate the complex world of human emotions and interpersonal dynamics.
With patience, understanding, and guidance, they can learn to improve their emotional intelligence and build healthier relationships.
6) They often misinterpret emotions
We’ve all occasionally misunderstood someone’s emotions or intentions. But for those with low emotional intelligence, this can be a consistent issue.
They might misinterpret a friend’s teasing as an insult or mistake a colleague’s constructive critique for personal attack. They may read too much into casual comments, perceiving them as hostile or dismissive.
These constant misunderstandings can cause unnecessary stress and conflict. It can also make interactions with them unpredictable and confusing, as you never know how they might interpret your words or actions.
Many of us can relate to these moments of misinterpretation, but when they become a consistent pattern, it might signal a struggle with emotional intelligence.
7) They aren’t the best at expressing their feelings
Ever met someone who, when asked how they’re feeling, responds with a classic “I’m fine” even when they’re clearly not?
Well, that’s often the case with people who have low emotional intelligence.
They might struggle to put their feelings into words or express them appropriately. So, they keep things bottled up or let them out in less-than-ideal ways. It’s like their emotional vocabulary is limited to “fine”, “okay”, and “not bad”.
This can lead to some amusing situations, like them expressing surprise with the same intensity as disappointment or describing both minor annoyance and extreme anger as just being “a bit upset”.
While it can be a bit confusing (and sometimes entertaining) trying to decode their feelings, understanding this behavior can help us better navigate interactions with those who may have low emotional intelligence.
8) They tend to blame others
Taking responsibility for our actions and mistakes is a vital part of emotional maturity. However, individuals with low emotional intelligence often struggle with this.
Instead of acknowledging their faults, they might consistently pin the blame on others. They might never admit they are wrong, even when it’s blatantly obvious.
It’s always someone else’s fault – their boss, their partner, their friend, the weather, and sometimes even the innocent family pet.
This refusal to take accountability can be incredibly frustrating for those around them. It not only prevents them from learning and growing from their mistakes but also strains relationships and fosters resentment.
While it’s tough to deal with, it’s important to remember that this behavior is a reflection of their struggle with emotional intelligence, not necessarily their character.
With a bit of “tough love” and guidance, they can learn to take responsibility and improve their emotional intelligence.
9) They struggle with self-awareness
If there’s one thing to remember about individuals with low emotional intelligence, it’s that they often lack self-awareness.
Being self-aware means understanding your own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and how they impact others. However, for those with low emotional intelligence, this understanding often eludes them.
They might not recognize when they’re becoming stressed, agitated, or upset. They may not understand why their words or actions upset others. This lack of self-awareness can lead to confusion, conflict, and a feeling of being misunderstood.
Remembering this key point can help us approach interactions with empathy and patience. It can guide us in providing support to help them improve their self-awareness and, in turn, their emotional intelligence.
Wrapping up
Being around someone who exhibits these behaviors can be challenging and, at times, emotionally draining. But remember, it’s not your responsibility to change them or fix their emotional intelligence.
As noted psychologist Daniel Goleman said, “Emotional intelligence begins to develop in the earliest years. All the small exchanges children have with their parents, teachers, and with each other carry emotional messages.”
This suggests that emotional intelligence isn’t something that can be easily altered in adulthood. It’s deeply ingrained and shaped by early life experiences.
Remember that while you can provide support, the journey to improve emotional intelligence is deeply personal and requires self-awareness, commitment, and effort from the individual themselves.
However, this article isn’t meant to label or diagnose anyone in your life. Instead, it’s intended to draw attention to behaviors that may indicate a struggle with emotional intelligence.
Not everyone who exhibits these behaviors lacks emotional intelligence – everyone has off days.
But if these behaviors are a consistent pattern in someone you know, it might be worth reflecting on how this impacts your relationship with them and whether there are ways you could support them in their journey towards improved emotional awareness.
In the end, understanding emotional intelligence can help us navigate our relationships more effectively and foster deeper connections built on mutual respect and understanding.
