There’s a fine line between taking care of yourself and being overtly selfish.
This line often gets blurred when people don’t realize their own selfish behavior.
Unknowingly, they exhibit certain actions that scream “selfish” to others, but they remain oblivious.
Let’s dive into these telltale signs of genuine selfishness. And trust me, you might be surprised to find how common these behaviors are.
Here are the 10 behaviors that genuinely selfish people usually display, without even realizing it.
1) They prioritize their needs over others’
Let’s be honest, we all have moments where we put our needs first. It’s human nature.
But, there’s a difference between occasionally prioritizing ourselves and consistently placing our needs above others’.
Routinely selfish individuals often do this without realizing the impact their actions have on those around them.
Take a moment to imagine a scenario. You’re planning a group outing, and that one friend keeps insisting on going to their favorite restaurant, disregarding everyone else’s suggestions.
This is a classic example of someone prioritizing their desires over the group’s.
And while it may seem harmless in the moment, when this behavior becomes a pattern, it can cause friction and resentment within relationships.
Just like the friend who always insists on their favorite restaurant, genuinely selfish people habitually prioritize their needs and wants, often oblivious to the inconvenience caused to others.
2) They take more than they give
I’m sure we all have experienced interactions with people who are always ready to take but seldom willing to give. I’ve personally encountered this behavior with an old friend of mine.
Let’s call him John. Whenever we went out, John was always the first to ask for a favor but the last to return one. From asking for rides to borrowing money, he was always on the receiving end. Yet, when I needed a favor, he was suddenly too busy or conveniently forgetful.
I began to realize that this was not a one-off situation but a recurring pattern. John’s behavior is a typical example of how genuinely selfish people often operate – they are takers more than givers.
This imbalance can leave the other person feeling used and undervalued, leading to strained relationships over time.
3) They struggle with empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a critical component of any healthy relationship.
However, research from the University of California, Berkeley suggests that those who are genuinely selfish may struggle with empathy. Their focus is so fixed on their own wants and needs that they find it difficult to consider the perspectives and feelings of others.
This lack of empathy can lead to a disregard for others’ emotions and create an environment where only their feelings matter. This behavior can significantly impact their relationships and interactions with others, making it one of the key indicators of genuine selfishness.
4) They rarely show gratitude
We all appreciate being appreciated. A simple thank you can go a long way in making someone feel valued and respected.
On the other hand, genuinely selfish people often take others’ efforts for granted, rarely expressing gratitude for the kindness and help they receive.
For instance, if a friend regularly helps them out with tasks, they might consider it as something they’re entitled to, rather than a favor that deserves gratitude.
This lack of appreciation can leave those around them feeling unvalued and taken for granted.
5) They monopolize conversations
Have you ever found yourself stuck in a conversation where the other person only talks about themselves? This is a common trait among genuinely selfish people.
Selfish individuals often monopolize conversations, turning every topic back to themselves. Their experiences, their problems, their achievements – everything revolves around them.
They may not even realize they’re doing it. But this constant self-focus can leave others feeling unheard and unimportant. If you notice that someone consistently dominates conversations, focusing mainly on their own experiences and views, it’s likely a sign of their genuine selfishness.
6) They’re unresponsive to others’ emotions
There’s something uniquely comforting about having someone genuinely acknowledge your feelings, especially when you’re going through a tough time.
Unfortunately, genuinely selfish individuals often struggle to provide this emotional support. They tend to be unresponsive or dismissive towards others’ emotions, mainly if it doesn’t concern them directly.
Imagine sharing your worries with a friend, only for them to quickly change the subject or disregard your feelings. It’s not just hurtful; it’s deeply isolating.
Being unresponsive to others’ emotions not only shows a lack of empathy but also reveals a level of self-absorption that is characteristic of genuine selfishness. If you encounter someone who consistently dismisses or minimizes your feelings, it might be a sign that they’re more focused on themselves than they are on you.
7) They rarely compromise
In any relationship, be it friendship, family, or romantic partnership, compromise is key. There are times when we have to set aside our preferences for the good of the relationship.
However, I’ve noticed that genuinely selfish individuals often struggle with this. I had a roommate who was always insistent on her way. Whether it was about the temperature setting or the TV channel, she rarely compromised.
This unwillingness to compromise didn’t just make living together difficult; it also strained our friendship and made me feel undervalued.
If you find someone consistently resistant to compromise, favoring their own preferences at the expense of others, it might be a clear sign of their underlying selfishness.
8) They’re excessively generous
This might sound surprising, but excessive generosity can sometimes be a sign of genuine selfishness.
Why? Because these acts of generosity often come with strings attached. A selfish person may use their generosity as a tool to manipulate others or to gain recognition and praise.
For instance, they might buy extravagant gifts for a friend but later use this as leverage to get their way. Or they might make grand gestures of kindness publicly, not out of genuine care, but for the applause and admiration it brings.
While generosity is typically seen as a positive trait, when it’s used for personal gain or manipulation, it can be a sign of underlying selfishness.
9) They’re often unaware of their selfish behavior
This is perhaps one of the most intriguing traits of genuinely selfish people – they often don’t realize they’re being selfish.
Their focus on their own needs and desires is so ingrained that they might genuinely believe their actions are normal or justified. They might not understand why others get upset or frustrated with them, leading to confusion and conflict.
This lack of self-awareness can make it challenging to address their behavior, as they might be defensive or dismissive when confronted.
10) They lack long-term, meaningful relationships
At the heart of any meaningful, lasting relationship is a balance of give and take, understanding, and mutual respect.
However, genuinely selfish individuals often struggle with maintaining such relationships. Their consistent focus on their own needs and lack of understanding of others’ feelings can lead to one-sided relationships that eventually fall apart.
If you notice someone has a history of short-lived relationships or lacks deep, meaningful connections with others, it could be a sign of their underlying selfish behavior. This is perhaps one of the most telling signs and something to be mindful of when evaluating someone’s character.
