Navigating relationships can be quite a rollercoaster. Sometimes, our feelings can cloud our judgment and make us ignore certain warning signs.
We tend to overlook the red flags that indicate someone isn’t the right fit for us, because the emotions are so powerful.
But even when it feels like they’re the one, there are some signs that shouldn’t be ignored.
In this article, I’ll share 8 red flags that someone isn’t the right person for you, despite how right it may feel in the moment. Trust me – I’ve learned these lessons the hard way. So let’s dive in, shall we?
1) They’re always on their best behavior
Remember the saying, “all that glitters is not gold”? It applies to people too.
When it comes to relationships, it’s natural for us to present our best selves initially. However, if someone seems too perfect – always saying the right things, never making mistakes – it can be a red flag.
You see, no one is perfect. We all have our quirks and faults. And that’s completely okay.
If your partner always appears flawless, they might be wearing a mask to hide their true selves. This could indicate that they have something to hide or that they don’t feel comfortable being themselves around you.
So, if you feel like you’re dating a character from a romantic novel rather than a real human being, take a step back. It’s important in any relationship to see and accept each other as we truly are – imperfections and all.
Just remember, authenticity beats perfection any day.
2) They avoid talking about the future
I once dated a guy who was amazing. He was charming, funny and we had a great time together. But whenever I tried to talk about our future, he’d quickly change the subject.
At first, I thought he was just being cautious, taking things slow. But as time went on, his avoidance of any serious conversation about our future started to alarm me.
It was as if he didn’t see a future with us together or wasn’t ready to commit to one.
I realized then that this was a clear red flag. If someone isn’t willing to discuss the future with you, it could mean they don’t see you in it.
In a healthy relationship, both partners should be able to communicate openly about their expectations and plans for the future. If they can’t or won’t, it may be time to reconsider if they’re really the right person for you.
3) You’re constantly making excuses for their behavior
In relationships, we sometimes find ourselves making excuses for our partner’s behavior. This can stem from a desire to maintain harmony or because we’re too attached to accept the reality.
According to psychologists, this is often a sign of being in a dysfunctional relationship. We end up justifying actions that shouldn’t be justified in the first place.
If you find yourself constantly defending your partner’s actions, brushing off their wrongdoings, or ignoring how they treat you, it’s a definite red flag.
Remember, everyone deserves respect and kindness in a relationship. If your partner’s behavior doesn’t reflect these basic principles and you’re often left making excuses for them, it’s time to reassess whether they are really the right person for you.
4) They disrespect your boundaries
Boundaries are crucial in any relationship. They help ensure that each person’s needs, space, and individuality are respected.
But what if the person you’re with constantly crosses these boundaries? What if they don’t respect your personal space, disregard your feelings, or belittle your opinions?
If this happens consistently, it’s a red flag that shouldn’t be ignored. Disrespecting boundaries not only shows a lack of respect, but it also indicates a lack of understanding and empathy.
If they can’t respect your boundaries, it’s likely that they may not respect you as an individual either.
Everyone deserves to be with someone who respects their boundaries and values their individuality. If the person you’re with doesn’t, it might be time to rethink if they’re really the right one for you.
5) Your gut feeling tells you something is off
There’s a reason why we often hear the phrase “trust your gut”. Our intuition is a powerful tool that can guide us towards or away from certain situations.
When it comes to relationships, if deep down something doesn’t feel right, it usually isn’t. You may not be able to pinpoint what’s wrong, but that nagging feeling in your gut should not be ignored.
Even if on the surface everything seems perfect, if your intuition is telling you otherwise, it’s worth taking a closer look.
Remember, your feelings are valid. If something feels off, it’s okay to step back and reassess the situation. Trusting your gut could save you from ending up with someone who isn’t right for you.
6) They never apologize
It took me a while to realize how important apologies are in a relationship. I used to be with someone who never said sorry, no matter how wrong they were. Instead, they would turn things around and make it look like it was my fault.
This is a classic red flag. In any healthy relationship, both parties should be able to recognize their mistakes and apologize sincerely.
No one is perfect, we all make mistakes. But acknowledging these mistakes and apologizing for them shows maturity and respect for the other person’s feelings.
If you’re with someone who never apologizes or takes responsibility for their actions, it’s a sign they might not be the right person for you despite how it feels.
7) They try to control you
Control can be subtle. It can start with them telling you what to wear, who to meet, or how to spend your time. Gradually, it can escalate to the point where you feel like you’re losing your individuality.
This is a major red flag. A relationship should be about mutual respect and freedom, not control.
If your partner tries to control different aspects of your life — from your personal choices to your social interactions — it’s an indication that they don’t respect you as an individual.
Remember, you’re your own person with the right to make your own decisions. If someone tries to take this away from you, they’re probably not the right person for you, no matter how much they profess their love.
8) You’re not happy
At the end of the day, the most important thing in any relationship is your happiness. If you find yourself more upset, stressed, or worried than happy, it’s a clear sign that something’s not right.
Happiness may look different for everyone, but one thing is universal – being in a relationship should enhance your happiness, not deplete it.
If you’re constantly feeling down or unfulfilled despite being with someone who seems like the “right” person, it’s time to take a step back and reconsider.
Remember, you deserve to be happy. Don’t settle for anything less.
Final thoughts: It’s about self-worth
The journey of love and relationships is a complex one, often filled with joy, sorrow, excitement, and heartbreak. At the heart of this journey lies one crucial element – your self-worth.
In the whirlwind of emotions, it’s easy to forget that your happiness, respect, and well-being should never be compromised. Your worth isn’t defined by any relationship – it’s inherent.
The American psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “We can only be what we give ourselves the power to be.” In relationships, this power lies in recognizing our worth and standing up for it.
If you’re continuously encountering red flags with someone who feels like ‘the one’, it’s time to reflect. Ask yourself – are you compromising your self-worth? Are you truly happy?
Remember, you are worthy of love and respect. Don’t ignore the red flags in the pursuit of love. You owe it to yourself to find someone who recognizes and appreciates your worth.
After all, your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.
