It’s one thing to be assertive, and another to cross the line into being overly so.
Overly assertive men tend to exhibit certain behaviors, often without even realizing it. It’s like they’re running on autopilot, unaware of how their actions come across to others.
In this article, we’re going to delve into these behaviors. We’ll pull back the curtain on the habits that you might not even realize you’re displaying.
So, sit tight as we explore the 8 behaviors typically displayed by men who are overly assertive.
1) Dominating conversations
We’ve all been there, in a conversation where it feels more like a monologue.
Overly assertive men often dominate discussions. They may not even realize they’re doing it, but it can leave others feeling unheard or sidelined.
The person might be talking about a topic they’re passionate about or feel knowledgeable in. But the problem arises when they don’t leave room for others to contribute their thoughts or opinions.
Remember, conversations should be a two-way street.
If you notice that you’re the one doing most of the talking, it might be time to take a step back and open the floor to others. After all, everyone wants to feel heard and valued in a discussion.
Being aware of this behavior is the first step towards improving your communication style and becoming less overly assertive.
2) Always needing to be right
Here’s one that hit me hard. I remember being at a dinner party once, and the topic of climate change came up. Now, being an environmental enthusiast, I felt that I had all the facts at my fingertips.
As the conversation progressed, I found myself getting more and more assertive, correcting people left and right, sharing statistics and data. I was so caught up in proving my point that I didn’t notice the discomfort growing around the table.
Later that night, a good friend pulled me aside and gently pointed out how my need to be right had dominated the discussion and made others feel uneasy.
That was a wake-up call for me. I realized that being overly assertive can sometimes come across as aggressive or arrogant. It isn’t about being right all the time; it’s about being respectful and allowing for different perspectives.
So, if you find yourself in a similar situation, remember to take a step back, breathe, and listen to others. You might be surprised by what you learn when you’re not too busy trying to prove your point.
3) Constantly taking charge
There’s an interesting correlation between being assertive and leadership. Many studies have shown that people who are assertive are often perceived as more capable and thus, are more likely to be placed in leadership roles.
Overly assertive men often feel the need to take control of every situation, even when it’s not necessary or appropriate. They’ll step in and start making decisions, giving instructions, or setting the course of action, even if there are others who are equally or more qualified to do so.
While this behavior might stem from a desire to be helpful or efficient, it can come across as overbearing and disrespectful. It diminishes the input and expertise of others and can lead to resentment in the long run.
It’s important to remember that leadership isn’t about controlling every situation. It’s about empowering others and fostering teamwork. So, the next time you find yourself taking charge without being asked to, pause for a moment and consider if it’s truly necessary or the most respectful course of action.
4) Interrupting others
We all know it’s rude to interrupt, but overly assertive men may find themselves guilty of this without even realizing it.
You might think that you’re just eager to share your ideas or contribute to the conversation, but consistently interrupting others sends a different message. It suggests that you believe your thoughts are more important than theirs.
This behavior can leave others feeling disrespected and unheard. It can also stifle productive dialogue and discourage others from sharing their own thoughts and ideas.
So next time you’re in a conversation, make a conscious effort to listen more than you speak. If you have something to say, wait for a pause in the conversation or ask if you can interject. You’ll be surprised at how much more meaningful your conversations can become when everyone feels heard.
5) Difficulty in showing vulnerability
Vulnerability is often seen as a sign of weakness, especially in traditional masculine culture. But the truth is, it takes courage to show vulnerability.
Overly assertive men may find it challenging to show their softer side. They might struggle to express emotions, admit mistakes or ask for help. This can be due to fear of appearing weak or losing control.
But vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. It’s what allows us to connect with others on a deeper level. It shows that we’re human and that we’re brave enough to show it.
So, don’t be afraid to open up. You’ll find that people respect and appreciate you more when you show that you’re not perfect and that you too have fears and doubts. Remember, it’s okay not to have all the answers all the time.
6) Over-competitiveness
There’s a line between healthy competition and over-competitiveness, and it can be easy to cross when you’re an assertive person.
I recall a time when I joined a local recreational soccer league. I was so caught up in winning that I ended up arguing with teammates, challenging the referee’s decisions, and even taking the fun out of the game for myself and others.
Over time, I realized that my competitiveness was not only ruining the experience for me but also for those around me. The purpose of the league was to enjoy, make friends and stay fit, but my competitive nature was overshadowing these objectives.
Competition can be a great motivator, but when it starts to negatively impact your relationships or your enjoyment of activities, it might be time to reassess. Balance is key. It’s okay to want to win, but not at the expense of others’ enjoyment or your own peace of mind.
7) Disregarding feedback
Feedback, whether it’s positive or negative, is crucial for personal growth. But overly assertive men may find it difficult to accept feedback, especially when it’s critical.
This could be due to a fear of appearing less competent or a belief that they already know best. Whatever the reason, disregarding feedback can hinder personal and professional growth.
Receiving feedback doesn’t mean you’re incompetent or lacking. On the contrary, it shows that you’re open to learning and improving. After all, nobody is perfect, and we all have areas where we can improve.
So, the next time someone offers you feedback, take it as an opportunity to learn and grow rather than a critique of your abilities.
8) Lack of empathy
At the core of overly assertive behavior is often a lack of empathy. Not taking the time to understand others’ perspectives or feelings can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.
Empathy is not just about understanding someone else’s perspective; it’s about respecting it, too. It’s about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and considering how they might feel.
Without empathy, it’s easy to become self-centered and dismissive of others. But with empathy, you can build stronger, more respectful relationships. So, strive to be empathetic in all your interactions. It might take some practice, but it’s worth it.
Final thought: It’s all about balance
Assertiveness is not inherently a bad trait. In fact, it’s often linked to leadership, confidence, and the ability to stand up for oneself. However, when it crosses into the realm of being overly assertive, it can lead to negative impacts on relationships and communication.
The key lies in striking a balance. It’s about understanding when to step up and take charge, and when to step back and listen. It’s about respecting others’ perspectives and feelings while also asserting your own.
Despite what society might often suggest, showing vulnerability, accepting feedback, and exhibiting empathy are not signs of weakness. They are indications of strength, understanding, and emotional intelligence.
So as we navigate through life’s challenges, let’s strive for balance in our assertiveness. Let’s be leaders who empower others, communicators who listen, and individuals who respect the thoughts and feelings of those around us.
After all, it’s through balanced interactions that we foster strong relationships, effective teams, and a more understanding world.
