Envy can be a real peace-stealer. It gnaws at you, pushing you to compare your life with others and leaving you feeling inadequate.
But, it doesn’t have to be this way. There are strategies that can help you combat this unwelcome feeling.
This is about learning how to take back your peace from the jaws of envy. It’s about choosing contentment over comparison. And trust me, there are certain tactics that can help you do just that.
So, here are eight strategies I’ve learned to keep envy from running your life and stealing your peace.
1) Acknowledge the envy
The first step in dealing with any problem is admitting it exists. And envy is no exception.
Many of us struggle with acknowledging feelings of envy because it’s not a very flattering emotion. It makes us feel small and petty. But denying its presence only gives it more power.
Instead, call it out. Recognize that you’re feeling envious and accept that it’s a normal human emotion. We’ve all been there at some point.
By acknowledging your envy, you take the first step towards diffusing its power over you. And this isn’t about self-judgment or criticism, but rather, self-awareness.
Remember, it’s okay to feel envious. It’s what you do with that feeling that counts. So let’s not hide from it, but face it head-on. Only then can we start reclaiming our peace.
2) Cultivate gratitude
One of the most effective ways I’ve found to combat envy is by cultivating gratitude.
I remember a time when I found myself feeling envious of a friend’s career success. She had just landed her dream job while I was stuck in a job that felt like it was going nowhere. The more I thought about her success, the more envious and unhappy I became.
Then, I decided to change my perspective. Instead of dwelling on what I didn’t have, I started focusing on what I did have. Each morning, I began writing down three things I was grateful for. They didn’t have to be big things, just simple everyday blessings.
I was surprised by how this simple act shifted my focus from what I lacked to what I possessed. My job may not have been perfect, but it provided me with a steady income and allowed me to pursue my hobbies during my free time.
Cultivating gratitude didn’t immediately eliminate the envy, but it did help me put things in perspective. It made me realize that while there were areas of my life that could be improved, there were also many aspects that were pretty great.
Gratitude acts as an antidote to envy. The more you appreciate what you have, the less you covet what others possess.
3) Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is a form of meditation where you focus on being intensely aware of what you’re sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment. It has been shown to reduce stress, improve focus, and contribute to better mental well-being.
A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that individuals who practiced mindfulness were less envious. This is because mindfulness encourages us to live in the present moment rather than constantly comparing our lives to others’.
So, if you find envy creeping in, take a few moments to breathe deeply and focus on the here and now. What can you see, hear, or feel? Grounding yourself in the present can help reduce feelings of envy by reminding you that you’re more than just your perceived shortcomings.
4) Turn envy into motivation
Envy isn’t always a negative force. It can also serve as a potent motivator. If you find yourself feeling envious of someone else’s achievements, instead of letting it eat away at you, use it as fuel to propel yourself forward.
When we see someone achieving something we desire, it’s a sign that it’s possible. Instead of wallowing in envy, ask yourself: What steps did they take to get there? What can I learn from their journey?
Rather than seeing their success as a threat, view it as an inspiration. Use it as a roadmap to chart out your path towards achieving your own goals.
Remember, the only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. So use the feeling of envy as a catalyst for change and self-improvement.
5) Practice compassion
It’s easy to look at someone else’s life and think they have it all. But the truth is, everyone is fighting their own battles – some that we know nothing about.
Practicing compassion allows us to see beyond the surface, reminding us that everyone has their struggles and challenges. It helps us to understand that what we envy in others often comes with its own set of difficulties.
Next time you find yourself envying someone, take a moment to consider the challenges they might be facing. This shift in perspective can help soften feelings of envy, fostering empathy instead.
Remember, we’re all human, and we’re all doing the best we can with what we have. Compassion brings us closer together, while envy often drives a wedge between us. Choose compassion over envy, and you’ll find your peace.
6) Reframe your mindset
I’ve spent a lot of my life caught up in the comparison trap. It was a constant cycle of looking at what others had and feeling like I was falling short.
But then I realized something crucial: Life isn’t a race. We’re all on our own unique journeys, each with our own pace and timing.
We often forget that everyone’s life unfolds differently. Some people may reach certain milestones earlier than us, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean we’re lagging behind or failing.
Reframing my mindset to understand this has been a game-changer for me. It has helped me to focus on my own path and celebrate my progress rather than constantly comparing it to others. And I’ve found that this shift has significantly reduced feelings of envy, replacing them with a sense of inner peace and contentment.
7) Limit social media consumption
In this digital age, our lives are constantly flooded with highlight reels of other people’s lives through social media. And while it can be a great tool for connection, it can also fuel feelings of envy if not managed appropriately.
Studies have found a link between heavy social media use and feelings of envy, dissatisfaction, and depression. This is because we’re often comparing our everyday reality with someone else’s best moments.
Try to limit your time on social media platforms or consider doing a digital detox. It’s also beneficial to curate your feed to include more content that inspires and motivates you rather than feeds your envy.
Remember, what you see on social media is often a distorted version of reality. Don’t let it dictate your self-worth or happiness.
8) Seek professional help if needed
If envy is significantly impacting your mental health and daily life, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. Therapists and counselors are trained to help you navigate these feelings and develop coping strategies.
There’s no shame in reaching out for help. Mental health is just as important as physical health. So, if you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to seek the support you need. You’re not alone in this, and there are people ready and willing to help.
Final thoughts: It’s a personal journey
The complexities of human emotions, particularly envy, often stem from deep personal experiences and perceptions.
One enlightening view comes from the Greek philosopher Epicurus, who once said, “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
Envy can cast a dark shadow over our lives, robbing us of peace and contentment. But it’s important to remember that it’s a universal human experience, not a personal failing.
These strategies we just explored aren’t a one-size-fits-all solution. They are stepping stones on your journey towards reclaiming your peace from envy’s grasp. The path might be challenging and filled with self-discovery, but it’s a journey worth undertaking.
Whether it’s acknowledging your feelings, practicing gratitude, seeking professional help, or reframing your mindset – the key lies in finding what works for you.
Remember, your life is unique and incomparable. Embrace it with all its ups and downs and let envy be a catalyst for growth and self-improvement rather than a source of despair.
