Earning your child’s admiration isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present, understanding, and consistently leading by example.
However, certain behaviors can unknowingly create distance or erode the trust needed for a strong bond.
If you want your children to respect and look up to you, it’s important to let go of actions that may hinder that connection.
Here are seven behaviors to say goodbye to for a relationship built on mutual love and admiration:
1) Endless comparison
We live in a world where comparison is second nature and we compare everything from our possessions to our achievements—it’s easy to bring this behavior into parenting.
As parents, comparing your child to others can seem like an effective strategy to motivate them to do better.
However, it can often have an opposite effect.
Children who constantly hear about how they measure up against others may start to feel inadequate or less valued, which can negatively affect their self-esteem and confidence.
Instead of comparing, focus on acknowledging your child’s unique abilities and efforts.
Remember, every child is different and has their own strengths and weaknesses.
Saying goodbye to endless comparison doesn’t mean ignoring areas where your child may need to improve. It simply means guiding them towards their personal best rather than someone else’s.
2) Lack of patience
Patience is a virtue, especially in parenting.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to take a deep breath and count to ten before responding to my child’s endless questions or navigating through an unexpected temper tantrum.
There was this one time, my youngest—after a long day—decided to showcase his artistic skills on our freshly painted living room walls and I walked into a room full of scribbles.
My initial reaction was frustration and anger, but then I paused.
Instead of reacting impulsively, I took a moment to understand his perspective: He was merely expressing his creativity, albeit in a very inconvenient place.
I calmly explained why the walls were not the best canvas for his art and guided him toward more appropriate mediums.
Did it take patience? Absolutely, but it also showed my son that I respected his feelings and was willing to guide him rather than punish him.
Now, my children feel safe expressing their emotions and ideas, knowing they’ll be met with patience rather than immediate backlash.
It’s not always easy, but trust me, patience pays off in fostering genuine admiration from your children.
3) Overprotectiveness
Overprotectiveness is a common instinct for parents as we all want to shield our children from harm and disappointment.
However, as psychologist Joanna Pantazi points out in Youniverse Therapy, children of overprotective parents may experience difficulties in maintaining their self-worth, being prone to anxiety and depression, and even perfectionism.
Let your children learn from their own experiences—and, yes, this includes making mistakes and facing the consequences.
When you do this, your children will not only become more independent but also admire you for trusting them and allowing them to navigate their own path.
4) Always being the fixer
As a concerned parent, it’s natural to want to jump in and solve all of your child’s problems.
After all, who wants to see their child struggle?
But always being the fixer doesn’t actually help them in the long run.
Once your child faces a challenge, encourage them to think through the problem by asking them questions like, “What do you think you should do?” or “How can you handle this?”
Doing this not only helps them develop critical thinking skills but also builds their confidence in their own abilities.
5) Unwillingness to apologize
Apologizing when we’re wrong is something many of us struggle with, and as a parent, I’m no exception.
I remember a time when I unfairly scolded my daughter for something that was not her fault.
Realizing my mistake, I had to swallow my pride and apologize.
Contrary to what some might think, apologizing to your child doesn’t make you weak or lose their respect as it models accountability and teaches them the importance of admitting when they’re wrong.
6) Inconsistency
Consistency is one of the key elements of effective parenting—it provides your children with a sense of security and stability, knowing what to expect from you.
If one day you’re lenient and the next you’re strict, it can confuse your children and make them feel uncertain, so this inconsistency can lead to behavioral issues and a lack of respect.
Abandoning the behavior of being inconsistent and sticking to established rules and consequences, you show your children that you mean what you say.
This creates an environment of trust and respect, leading them to genuinely admire you as a parent.
7) Dismissing their feelings
Children, like adults, have a wide range of emotions, so dismissing these feelings or labeling them as ‘silly’ or ‘irrational’ can make your child feel unheard and unimportant.
Always take the time to listen to your child’s feelings, even if they seem trivial to you.
Acknowledging their feelings shows them that their emotions are valid and that you value their perspectives.
The essence of admiration
Parenting is about connection—the bond we create with our children shapes who they become.
The seven behaviors we discussed are steps toward a healthier, more authentic relationship as children admire parents for genuineness.
Every step and change you make impacts your child and embracing the growth they bring because parenting is a journey of growth for both you and your child.
In time, they’ll admire you not for who they thought you should be but for the parent you truly are.
