There’s a fine line between constructive criticism and downright negativity.
The line is drawn by intention. Constructive criticism aims to help you improve, while negativity seeks to bring you down and crush your dreams.
Sometimes, it’s all in the wording. There are certain phrases that, when said, are clear indicators of unsupportive attitudes.
In this article, we’ll be delving into eight such phrases that should set off alarm bells. If someone uses these, chances are, they’re not rooting for your dreams.
Let’s dive in and explore these red flags, so you know when to shield your aspirations from dream crushers.
1) “Be realistic”
Dreams and aspirations aren’t always grounded in the realm of the ‘realistic.’ That’s what makes them dreams.
Use of the phrase “be realistic” is often a sign of an unsupportive mindset. While it’s essential to have a practical approach to achieving your dreams, this phrase is usually a subtle way of saying that your dreams are impossible or unattainable.
Realism is necessary, but so is optimism and belief in your abilities. If someone constantly urges you to ‘be realistic’, they might not be fully supportive of your dreams.
Remember, many great accomplishments were once considered unrealistic. Don’t let someone else’s limited perspective define your dreams.
2) “You’re not cut out for this”
This phrase is a direct hit to your self-confidence.
I remember when I first started exploring my passion for writing. A close friend, who I assumed would be supportive, said, “You’re not cut out for this. You’ve never written anything substantial before.”
This phrase was deflating, but I didn’t let it stop me. Instead, I used it as fuel to prove them wrong. Fast forward to today, and I’ve written numerous articles and even a couple of books.
If someone tells you that you’re not cut out for something, it could mean they lack faith in your potential. Don’t let their doubts become yours. Believe in your abilities and prove them wrong.
3) “That’s never been done before”
This phrase often masks a fear of venturing into the unknown.
When the Wright brothers proposed the idea of a flying machine, they were often met with this phrase. It hadn’t been done before, and many people couldn’t comprehend it. Yet, they persevered and brought about a revolution in transportation.
Just because something hasn’t been done before doesn’t mean it can’t be. It could just mean you’re a pioneer, blazing a new trail. Don’t let the fear of the unknown hold you back from pursuing your dreams.
4) “That’s a risky move”
Risk is inherent in every venture. It’s important to assess risk, but it shouldn’t be a reason to give up on your dreams.
This phrase often indicates the speaker’s own fear and insecurity projected onto you. They might be trying to protect you, but they could also be hindering your progress.
Remember, no great achievement comes without some level of risk. It’s about managing it and not letting it deter you. If someone frequently points out the risk in your dreams without offering constructive advice, they might not be as supportive as they appear.
5) “You don’t have what it takes”
This phrase is a blow to the heart. It’s a direct challenge to your abilities and potential.
Hearing these words can be painful, especially from someone you respect and value. But remember, no one else gets to decide what you’re capable of.
Your dreams are yours, not theirs. They don’t know your strength, your resilience or the depth of your passion. Only you can determine what you have and what it takes to realize your dreams. If you hear this phrase, remind yourself that you are capable, and keep pushing forward.
6) “Why can’t you be more like…?”
Comparison is the thief of joy. It’s also a clear indicator of unsupportive behavior.
I recall a time when I was constantly compared to my more academically accomplished cousin. It was disheartening, and it made me feel like my achievements were insignificant. I felt as if I was disappointing everyone for chasing my own dreams instead of following a more conventional path.
But I realized that my life, my journey, and my dreams aren’t meant to be a replica of someone else’s. They are uniquely mine. If someone resorts to comparing you to others, it shows they’re not appreciating your individuality and the unique flavor you bring to the world. Your dreams are yours – own them!
7) “It’s not worth it”
This phrase is another that carries an unsupportive undertone.
When someone tells you your dreams aren’t worth the effort, they’re indirectly saying that they don’t believe in your vision or your ability to achieve it.
The worth of your dreams isn’t for others to decide. It’s you who will put in the time, effort, and resources. So, it’s you who gets to decide if it’s worth it.
Don’t let someone else’s lack of vision or commitment dictate the value of your dreams.
8) “You’re wasting your time”
This phrase is often the hardest to hear, but it’s essential to remember – only you can decide what is or isn’t a waste of your time.
Your dreams are your own. You’ve nurtured them, believed in them, and invested in them. If they matter to you, they are never a waste of time.
Don’t let anyone undermine the importance of your dreams or make you question their worth. Your dreams are precious and pursuing them is one of the most fulfilling journeys you can embark on.
Final thoughts: It’s about belief
The journey to your dreams is deeply personal and often filled with obstacles. One such hurdle may be encountering individuals who use these phrases, casting doubts and dampening your spirit.
Remember, the power of self-belief is unparalleled. It’s the flame that keeps you going, the compass that guides you, and the shield that protects you from negativity.
History is filled with stories of individuals who, despite facing an onslaught of skepticism and discouragement, held on to their dreams. They believed in themselves when no one else did.
Take Thomas Edison for example. He faced a thousand failed attempts before he successfully invented the lightbulb. When asked about his failures, he famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Your dreams are your own. They are a reflection of your passion, your determination, and your resilience. Don’t let anyone’s words deter you from pursuing them.
As you move forward, keep Edison’s words in mind. Embrace the challenges, learn from the setbacks, but most importantly, believe in yourself and your dreams. Because at the end of the day, that’s what truly matters.
