If I roll my eyes, you might think I’m arrogant; if I constantly interrupt, you could assume I’m rude.
Such is the dance of first impressions.
First impressions matter, but sometimes our habits can unintentionally give off the wrong vibe.
But let’s be honest, we all goof up—even if you don’t mean to, certain behaviors can make you appear arrogant to new people.
If you’re wondering why others might seem distant or reserved around you, these eight habits could be the reason.
Let’s dive into how we might be coming off as prideful, even when we’re just trying to be ourselves:
1) Dominating conversations
We all like a good chat, don’t we?
But here’s the catch: it’s called a conversation because it involves two people sharing their thoughts and experiences.
However, if you always find yourself doing most of the talking, then Houston, we have a problem!
This can come off as arrogant, especially to new people who might want to share a piece of their world with you.
It’s no secret that everyone wants to feel heard and understood—so, when you hog the spotlight, it can appear as if you believe your experiences or opinions are more valuable than theirs!
It’s all about give-and-take; when someone else is speaking, make sure to listen. Not just hear, but truly listen.
When it’s your turn to speak, ensure you’re not just waiting for your chance to talk again.
Balance is key in conversations.
2) Constantly one-upping
Ever been in a situation where you share something, only to have someone else chime in with a “better” or “bigger” experience?
I know I have. It was at a dinner party; a friend was talking about his recent vacation to Greece, sharing beautiful pictures and interesting stories.
I, excitedly, started sharing my own experience of visiting Greece a few years back.
But instead of just sharing, I found myself constantly comparing my trip to his.
“Oh, you went to Santorini? I stayed in this incredible private villa there.” “You tried the gyros? I had the best ones at this hidden local spot.”
At that moment, I didn’t realize it but, looking back, I can see how my constant one-upping could have come off as arrogant—it was as if I was trying to prove that my experience was superior to his.
The truth is, everyone’s experiences are unique and valuable. Trying to one-up them not only diminishes their experiences but also makes you seem self-absorbed.
3) Lack of eye contact
Eye contact plays a crucial role in human communication. It’s a non-verbal way of saying, “I see you, and I’m listening to you.”
Interestingly enough, research suggests that maintaining eye contact can actually improve the quality of your conversations—it helps to create a deeper connection and understanding between people.
So when you avoid making eye contact, it can send the wrong message. People might think you’re disinterested in them or whatever they’re saying.
In some cultures, it’s even seen as a sign of disrespect.
The key is to find a balance—ensuring that you’re engaging enough to show interest and build rapport while respecting boundaries. Practicing intentional eye contact can go a long way in making your interactions more meaningful and impactful.
4) Always being right
Being right feels good, doesn’t it?
But here’s the thing: no one’s right all the time, and insisting you are can make you seem arrogant!
Imagine having a discussion and even when it’s clear that you’re in the wrong, you continue to argue your point.
It can be exhausting for others and can come off as if you’re not willing to consider their perspectives.
Look, it’s okay to be wrong—it doesn’t make you any less smart or worthy.
In fact, as counterintuitive as it sounds, admitting when you’re wrong can make you seem more approachable and open-minded.
5) Not asking questions
I remember walking into a networking event a few years back: I was excited, ready to meet new people and learn about their experiences.
But as the evening wore on, I realized I was doing all the talking while others were merely listening.
At first, I was flattered by the attention.
But, as I left the event, I couldn’t help but feel a bit arrogant.
Why? Because I realized I hadn’t asked anyone about their experiences—it was all about me, me, me!
The truth is, asking questions is a sign of curiosity and respect.
It shows that you’re interested in what others have to say and you value their opinions but, if you’re always talking and never asking, it can make you seem self-centered.
6) Overconfidence
Confidence is attractive; it shows that you believe in yourself and your abilities—but there’s a thin line between being confident and coming off as arrogant, especially when meeting new people.
You might think that showcasing your achievements and talents would impress others—and, to some extent, it does.
But when it’s overdone, it can seem like you’re bragging or trying to prove your worth.
Interestingly, according to an article from Psychology Today, people often connect more with those who show vulnerability.
Sharing your struggles or admitting your fears can make you more relatable and down-to-earth.
7) Name dropping
We’ve all met that one person who can’t resist throwing around names of famous people they know, expensive brands they own, or exclusive places they’ve been.
While it might seem like a way to impress others, it often does the opposite.
Name dropping can make you come across as trying too hard to prove your worth or status; it gives off the impression that you think you’re superior because of these associations or possessions.
People are usually more interested in who you are as a person, not who you know or what you own. Genuine connections are formed based on shared interests, values, and experiences—not name-dropping, folks!
8) Ignoring others’ feelings
At the end of the day, it all comes down to empathy.
When we disregard others’ feelings or act indifferent to their experiences, it can come off as arrogant—it sends the message that we don’t value their emotions or perspectives!
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others; it’s about recognizing that everyone has their own unique experiences and emotions, and respecting that.
If there’s one thing you should always remember when meeting new people, it’s to be empathetic by listening to their stories, acknowledging their feelings, and showing them that you care.
It’s the simplest yet most powerful way to avoid seeming arrogant.
Final thoughts
At the end of the day, it’s not about being perfect—we all have moments where we come across as arrogant, even unintentionally. And that’s okay.
Reflecting on how our actions are perceived is key to self-improvement. It’s about being mindful of our behavior and its impact on others, without suppressing who we are.
A little humility can go a long way—so, in your next interaction, take a breath, apply these insights, and watch how they shift others’ perceptions.
After all, as Maya Angelou beautifully said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
