There’s often more to people than meets the eye, especially in the case of strong women. A strong exterior doesn’t always mean everything is just as perfect underneath.
In fact, some women who seem to have it all together are just barely keeping it together on the inside. They don’t always show it, but there are subtle behaviors that can give them away.
In this article, we’re going to explore these subtle signs that strong women exhibit when they’re really just holding on. These eight behaviors are often overlooked, but they can be the key to understanding what’s truly going on beneath the surface.
So let’s dive in and shed some light on these often unnoticed behaviors of strong women who are barely holding on underneath.
1) Smiling through the pain
We all know the saying “smile and the world smiles with you”, and strong women are often masters of this. But behind every smile they give, there’s often a world of hidden worries.
It’s a subtle behavior that’s easy to miss, especially when it’s a woman who always seems to be brimming with positivity and strength. However, if you look closely, you might notice that their smiles seem just a little bit forced, or don’t quite reach their eyes.
That’s because they’re using their smile as a shield, to project an image of strength and stability. This doesn’t mean they’re being fake, it’s just their way of dealing with their inner turmoil while not making others worry about them.
So next time you see that strong woman in your life smiling, pause for a moment. Look a little closer. It might be that she’s using her smile as a protective barrier, keeping her struggles hidden away from the world.
2) Rarely asking for help
This one, I’ve seen first hand. I have a friend, let’s call her Lucy. Lucy is the epitome of a strong woman. She’s successful, confident, and seemingly unshakeable. But I began to notice something about Lucy – she rarely ever asked for help.
No matter how swamped she was with work, or how much she was juggling in her personal life, Lucy never seemed to reach out. It was as if she had an invisible barrier around her, pushing everyone away when it came to her problems.
I confronted her about this one day. It took some prodding but she finally admitted that she felt like asking for help was a sign of weakness. She didn’t want others to see her struggle because she thought it would shatter the image of strength she projected.
But asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of being human. Strong women like Lucy often have a hard time realizing this, and it’s one of the subtle signs that they’re barely holding on underneath their tough exterior.
3) Overcompensating with perfectionism
Strong women often hold themselves to incredibly high standards. They strive for perfection in everything they do, from their careers to their personal lives. But here’s a little-known secret: this drive for perfection can actually be a sign of underlying struggle.
Perfectionism can be a coping mechanism, a way for these women to maintain control when they’re feeling like they’re barely holding on. It’s their way of proving to themselves, and to the world, that they’re not falling apart.
However, this constant striving for perfection can create an immense amount of pressure and stress. It’s like a double-edged sword; while it may give them a sense of control, it also adds another layer of burden on their shoulders.
So if you know a strong woman who seems to be obsessed with being perfect, take note. It might be her way of dealing with internal struggles that she’s not ready to confront openly.
4) Being overly independent
Independence is a trait often admired in strong women. They seem to have the ability to handle everything on their own, never needing to rely on someone else. But sometimes, this extreme independence isn’t just about being capable; it can be a subtle sign of internal struggles.
For these women, their independence can become a sort of armor. It allows them to keep people at a distance, preventing anyone from getting close enough to see the cracks in their facade.
They take on everything themselves, refusing help even when it’s offered. They believe that they need to handle all their problems alone, that relying on others is a sign of weakness.
So if you notice a woman who seems to be overly independent, who insists on handling everything herself, remember this could be her way of keeping her struggles hidden beneath the surface.
5) Constantly putting others first
Strong women are often the ones who are there for everyone else. They’re the shoulder to lean on, the listening ear, the one who always seems to have the right words to say. But sometimes, this selflessness is another subtle sign of their internal struggles.
They put others first, often at the expense of their own needs. It’s as if they’re trying to divert attention away from their own problems by focusing on helping others with theirs.
It’s a beautiful trait, the ability to give so much of themselves to others. But it can also be a shield, a way for them to avoid dealing with their own issues.
So next time you see a strong woman always taking care of others, take a moment. Offer her your shoulder, your ear, your kind words. She might be barely holding on underneath and could really use someone being there for her too.
6) Avoiding emotional topics
For a long time, I had a habit of steering clear of emotional topics. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel things deeply, but discussing them felt like opening a can of worms I wasn’t ready to deal with.
This is something many strong women do. They avoid emotional topics, keeping conversations light and surface-level. It’s not because they’re devoid of feelings, but because delving into them might reveal the struggles they’re trying to keep hidden.
They might change the subject when things get too personal or emotionally charged, or make a joke to lighten the mood. It’s their way of keeping their vulnerabilities under wraps.
So if you notice a woman who always seems to avoid emotional discussions, it could be a sign. She might be barely holding on underneath, using light-hearted conversation as a way to keep her struggles out of sight.
7) Rare moments of vulnerability
Strong women can seem like they’re made of steel, always composed and in control. But watch closely, because there might be rare moments when the steel facade cracks, revealing vulnerability underneath.
These moments may be fleeting – a quick flash of sadness in their eyes, a sigh that seems to carry the weight of the world, a momentary hesitation before they put on their confident smile. These are the moments when their guard is down, and we get a glimpse of the struggles they’re holding inside.
It’s easy to miss these moments if you’re not paying attention, because they’re often followed by an immediate return to their strong exterior. But these are tell-tale signs that beneath the surface, they may be barely holding on.
So keep an eye out for these rare moments of vulnerability. They’re subtle signs that even the strongest women have their struggles too.
8) Need for constant control
The most important thing to understand about strong women who are struggling underneath is their need for control. They often feel the need to have a handle on every aspect of their lives, from their work to their relationships and personal matters.
This need for total control is a way for them to cope with their internal struggles. By controlling everything around them, they feel like they can keep their emotions and vulnerabilities from spilling out.
But this constant need for control can be exhausting. It’s a heavy load to carry, and it’s often a sign that they’re holding on by a thread underneath their strong exterior.
So if you know a strong woman who seems to have an unyielding need for control, remember that it might not be about control at all, but rather her way of coping with her hidden struggles.
