Becoming a parent is one of the most significant roles a person can take on, and identifying traits that suggest someone will be a good father can be key in building a strong family foundation.
While grand gestures may be easy to spot, it’s often the subtle behaviors that reveal a man’s readiness for fatherhood.
You see, becoming a father is not just about bringing a child into the world.
It’s about showing up, being present, and nurturing that young life in the best way possible.
In this piece, I’ll walk you through eight subtle behaviors that almost certainly indicate a man will make a great father.
And no, it’s not about how much money he makes or how many dad jokes he knows by heart.
Stay tuned for some genuine insights that might surprise you.
1) He’s an active listener
Have you ever had a conversation with someone who’s constantly checking their phone or looking over your shoulder?
It’s frustrating, isn’t it?
Now imagine a child trying to communicate their feelings to such a person.
It’s almost heartbreaking.
A good father doesn’t just hear, he listens. He pays attention to the little details, whether it’s his child’s favorite toy, their best friend’s name, or that new fear of the dark.
Because he practices active listening, he’s present and involved in the conversation.
This behavior is subtle yet highly impactful in building a strong bond with a child.
It validates their feelings, boosts their self-esteem, and gives them the confidence that they are important and heard.
2) He’s patient
Patience is a virtue, especially when it comes to parenting.
Little ones are curious, energetic, and often, downright messy.
I remember a time when my daughter decided to give her stuffed animals a bath… in maple syrup.
Instead of losing my cool at the sight of sticky teddy bears scattered all over the kitchen floor, I took a deep breath.
I acknowledged her creativity and gently explained why syrup baths might not be the best idea.
We then spent the afternoon cleaning up together – a memory we both cherish to this day.
A good father understands that children are still learning and growing.
They need room to make mistakes without fear of harsh judgment or punishment.
Believe me, patience goes a long way in creating a safe and loving environment for your child to thrive in.
3) He’s emotionally available
Emotional availability is another key trait in a good father.
This means being open to experiencing and expressing emotions, as well as being receptive to the feelings of others, especially his child’s.
Now, this doesn’t mean a good father has to be an emotional wreck or cry at every Disney movie (although there’s nothing wrong with that!).
It means he isn’t afraid to show his feelings and can provide emotional support when needed.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I discuss the importance of being open and emotionally present.
It’s about understanding your emotions, managing them effectively, and using them as a guide for living a meaningful life.
Applying these principles to parenthood, a good father is someone who can comfort his child during a thunderstorm, share in their joy when they win their first soccer game, and provide a safe space for them to express their feelings without judgment or ridicule.
Being emotionally available strengthens the parent-child bond and teaches kids how to handle their own emotions in a healthy and constructive way.
4) He sets boundaries
Good fathers understand the importance of setting boundaries.
They create a clear distinction between acceptable and unacceptable behavior, helping their child navigate the complexities of social interactions and personal responsibility.
Setting boundaries is not about imposing strict rules or creating a rigid environment.
It’s about teaching children respect, empathy, and self-discipline.
It’s about guiding them towards becoming well-adjusted individuals.
As educator Janet Lansbury says in her book, Elevating Child Care: A Guide To Respectful Parenting, “Boundaries and discipline, when offered non-punitively and in the context of empathy and respect, are gifts we should feel proud of and one of the highest forms of love.”
A good father knows how to strike a balance between allowing freedom and maintaining order.
He sets expectations and consequences, all while communicating them clearly and consistently.
This not only provides a sense of security for the child but also promotes mutual respect, understanding, and trust in the relationship.
5) He’s not afraid to be vulnerable
At first glance, vulnerability might seem like a strange trait for a good father.
After all, aren’t fathers supposed to be strong and invincible? Well, yes and no.
While it’s important for a father to provide emotional and physical security to his child, it’s equally crucial for him to display vulnerability.
Showing vulnerability doesn’t mean being weak or fragile.
It means having the courage to express feelings openly, admit mistakes, and seek help when needed.
A good father knows that showing vulnerability can actually be a sign of strength and authenticity.
It allows him to connect with his child on a deeper level, fostering an environment of empathy, compassion, and understanding.
Believe it or not, this behavior sends a powerful message to children.
It teaches them that it’s okay to not have all the answers, that it’s okay to be human and imperfect.
As renowned author and researcher Brené Brown puts it, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”
6) He practices self-care
Self-care may seem like a buzzword these days, but its importance in parenting cannot be overstated.
It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of raising a child and forget to take care of oneself.
However, a good father understands that he can’t pour from an empty cup.
He knows that taking care of his own physical, emotional, and mental well-being is crucial in being there for his child.
Whether it’s maintaining a fitness routine, pursuing a hobby, or simply taking time out to decompress, these acts of self-care contribute to his overall health and happiness, which in turn affects his ability to parent effectively.
Plus, it sets a positive example for his child about the importance of self-care and personal fulfillment.
7) He encourages independence
Teaching a child to tie their shoelaces or make their own breakfast can feel like a monumental task, especially when it’s quicker and less messy to do it for them.
But giving in to the urge to jump in can rob them of the chance to learn and grow.
It’s important to nurture a child’s sense of independence, even if it means watching them struggle a bit or make mistakes.
Allowing them small acts of independence can boost their confidence and equip them with life skills.
As they grow older, this sense of self-reliance will serve them well in all areas of life.
They’ll learn to trust their abilities, make decisions, and handle the consequences – valuable lessons that will help shape them into capable and resilient adults.
8) He’s consistent
Consistency is key in good parenting. Kids thrive on routine and predictability – it gives them a sense of security and helps them understand the world better.
A good father is consistent in his actions and responses. If he promises to take his child to the park on Saturday, he follows through. If he sets a rule about screen time, he sticks to it.
This consistency goes beyond just rules and promises. It extends to the emotional environment he creates.
His child knows they can count on him to provide love, support, and stability, no matter what.
Inconsistent behavior can be confusing and distressing for a child. On the other hand, consistency fosters trust, respect, and a strong parent-child bond.
Remember, it’s not about being perfect all the time. It’s about being reliable, steady, and present – that’s what makes a good father.
Final thoughts: It’s about the journey
As you can see, being a good father isn’t about being perfect nor about being able to provide every material comfort.
What really matters are the small, meaningful actions that show commitment, patience, and emotional support.
A man who quietly displays these seven behaviors is demonstrating qualities that will help him excel as a father.
He might not always have all the answers, but his kindness, attentiveness, and ability to nurture will help him build a strong, loving bond with his children.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve into the concept of mindfulness and living in the present moment.
This philosophy is incredibly relevant to parenting.
Being present, being mindful, can transform everyday parenting moments into profound connections with your child.
After all, it’s the love and presence that leave the biggest impact, not perfection.
