Finding the right person can often feel like navigating a maze blindfolded. It’s not easy, but there are certain signposts that can guide you along the right path.
The magic truly begins when you can delve into particular topics with someone, without fear of judgment or discomfort.
These topics represent more than just casual conversation. They’re a reflection of shared values, mutual understanding, and emotional compatibility.
So, let’s delve into what these 8 topics are. If you can talk about them freely with someone, there’s a good chance you’re with the right person.
1) Future plans
In the journey of finding the right person, being able to discuss future plans comfortably is a significant milestone.
It’s not about planning out your entire life together on the second date. But as you grow closer, conversations about the future should arise naturally.
Do you both see kids in your future? Or a life filled with travel and adventure? Perhaps you both dream of starting a business together? These discussions are not just about compatibility, they’re also about shared visions and dreams.
If you can talk about your future plans without hesitation or apprehension, it’s a strong indicator that you’re with the right person. It shows a level of trust and commitment that underpins strong relationships.
Remember, it’s not just about having identical plans, but about being able to discuss them openly and find common ground. This open dialog allows for mutual understanding and growth, which are keys to a successful relationship.
2) Personal values
Another key topic that can indicate you’re with the right person is personal values.
My own experience proved this to me. I remember sitting down with my now-husband early in our relationship. We spent an entire day discussing our personal values. Everything from our views on family, work, money, to how we approach conflict.
We didn’t agree on everything, but what mattered was that we could have these discussions openly and respectfully. We listened to each other, understood where the other was coming from, and sought to find common ground where disagreements arose.
Being able to discuss personal values is crucial because it forms the foundation of your relationship. These shared or complementary values will guide your decisions and actions as a couple. If you can have these deep and sometimes challenging discussions with someone, you’re likely with a person who respects and values you for who you are.
3) Vulnerabilities
A cornerstone of any lasting relationship is being able to discuss your vulnerabilities with your partner. It might not seem very appealing initially, but it’s a crucial step towards developing a deep and meaningful bond.
Brené Brown, a renowned research professor at the University of Houston, spent years studying vulnerability, courage, authenticity, and shame. Her research shows that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but rather our most accurate measurement of courage.
In a relationship, when you can openly share your fears, insecurities, past mistakes, and regrets with someone and they still accept you wholeheartedly, that’s a clear sign of true connection and understanding.
Opening up about vulnerabilities fosters trust and enables both partners to support each other in ways they may not have known were needed. If you can have these conversations without fear of judgment or rejection, you’re likely with the right person.
4) Passions and interests
Finding common ground with your significant other is essential, and discussing shared or individual passions and interests is a fantastic way to do this.
Whether it’s a love for cooking, a shared enthusiasm for hiking, or even separate interests like painting for you and cycling for them, these topics are important. They provide insight into what makes each of you tick, what brings joy into your life, and how you spend your free time.
Having this understanding of each other fosters mutual respect and appreciation. Moreover, it opens the door for shared experiences, or at least supporting each other in individual pursuits.
If you can discuss your passions and interests with ease and genuine interest in each other’s hobbies, there’s a good chance you’re with the right person.
5) Emotional experiences
Among the most profound topics you can discuss with your partner are your emotional experiences.
These could be past traumas, moments of extreme joy, times of distress, or periods of significant change. Opening up about these experiences isn’t always easy. It requires trust, empathy, and a willingness to be vulnerable.
When you can share your deepest emotions with someone, and they can do the same with you, it creates an emotional bond that is incredibly strong. It’s a bond that says, “I see you, I understand you, and I’m here for you.”
Opening up about emotional experiences can be healing and cathartic. It’s a beautiful way to understand each other on a deeper level. If you can share these moments with someone, it’s a strong sign that you’re with the right person – someone who truly understands and accepts you.
6) Past relationships
Discussing past relationships can be a delicate subject. However, it’s important to remember that these experiences have shaped us into who we are today.
I remember when my partner and I decided to broach this topic. We didn’t focus on the details but rather on what we learned from those experiences. We talked about how they affected us, what we wished we had done differently, and how they have influenced our expectations and behaviors in our current relationship.
This kind of conversation is not about comparing or dwelling on the past. It’s about understanding each other’s journey and how it has shaped our perspectives on love and relationships.
If you can have an open and mature discussion about past relationships, it shows a level of trust, understanding, and respect that is indicative of a strong relationship.
7) Personal challenges
Personal challenges, whether they’re related to work, health, family, or personal growth, are a crucial topic of discussion in any relationship.
Being able to share your struggles and challenges with your partner not only allows them to provide support but also helps them understand you better. It gives them insight into what you’re dealing with and how it affects you.
Likewise, when your partner shares their personal challenges with you, it shows that they trust you and value your opinion and support.
If you can discuss personal challenges openly and honestly without fear of judgment or criticism, it’s a strong sign that you’re with the right person. This kind of mutual support and understanding is vital in a strong, lasting relationship.
8) Your feelings for each other
The most telling topic that indicates you’re with the right person is your feelings for each other. Being able to express your love, respect, admiration, and even your frustrations towards each other is crucial.
When you can tell someone how much they mean to you or how they’ve made your life better, it shows a level of openness and vulnerability that is essential in a strong relationship. It’s equally important to be able to express when you’re upset or hurt, and to have those feelings acknowledged and addressed.
If you can openly discuss your feelings for each other, whether they’re positive or negative, it means you’ve found someone who values your emotions and respects your perspective. And that’s a clear sign that you’re with the right person.
Final thoughts: Love is a journey
Every relationship is unique, just like the individuals in it. What works for one couple might not work for another. However, the ability to openly and comfortably discuss these eight topics often signifies a healthy and strong relationship.
Remember, it’s not just about finding the right person, but also about being the right person. It’s about growing together, understanding each other, and navigating life’s ups and downs hand in hand.
Love is a journey of discovery – about your partner, about yourself, and about the kind of relationship you want to build. It’s a journey worth taking the time to get right.
So as you reflect on these topics, consider not just your conversations with your partner, but also the journey you’re embarking on. Because ultimately, it’s the journey that matters most in love.
