Have you ever caught yourself second-guessing every little decision or shying away from opportunities that genuinely excite you?
Maybe you brush it off as just being “careful” or “realistic.” But sometimes, these small habits reveal more than we think.
It’s often the subtle behaviors, the ones we don’t even realize we’re doing, that quietly expose our lack of self-belief.
I’ve been there too—feeling like I was “playing it safe” when, deep down, I was actually holding myself back.
And the truth is, self-belief isn’t always this glaringly obvious thing. Often, it’s more about those hidden actions and internal dialogues we have with ourselves.
Let’s dive into some of these lesser-known habits that might be keeping you from fully owning your confidence. Because once you see them, you can finally start to rewrite the narrative.
1) Seeking validation from others
It’s a basic human instinct to desire acceptance and approval from our peers. We all want to feel seen and valued. However, when we start relying heavily on others’ opinions to validate our self-worth, it’s a telling sign of low self-belief.
Looking back, I can see how I used to constantly seek affirmation from the people around me. Every decision, every action was contingent on others’ approval. It was exhausting and disempowering, subtly undermining my confidence and authenticity.
But I’ve learned that the only validation that truly matters is the one that comes from within. No amount of external approval can substitute for genuine self-belief. It’s essential to assess our own actions based on our values and principles, rather than how they will be perceived by others.
Your worth is not determined by what others think of you. It’s defined by who you are and what you stand for. Stop seeking validation from others and start believing in yourself.
2) Avoiding challenging situations
Life is full of ups and downs. It’s a journey that’s meant to be filled with challenges. But I’ve noticed that one of the most common signs of low self-belief is avoiding these challenging situations.
I used to do it myself. I would steer clear of anything that felt too difficult or overwhelming, believing it was beyond my capabilities. I was letting my fears dictate my actions, limiting my growth and potential.
The truth is, confronting challenges head-on is a powerful way to build self-belief. It’s through facing our fears and stepping out of our comfort zones that we grow the most. As the saying goes, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.
Nelson Mandela once said, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and watch your self-belief soar.
3) Staying confined by societal conditioning
In a world full of norms and expectations, it’s easy to lose sight of who we truly are. We’re constantly surrounded by messages about who we “should” be—what success looks like, how we should behave, and even what we should aspire to achieve.
When we start prioritizing these external standards over our own instincts and desires, we often end up silencing our true selves. This behavior isn’t just about fitting in; it’s a sign of underlying self-doubt, a fear that our authentic self isn’t “enough” or wouldn’t be accepted if fully expressed.
If this is something you struggle with, I’d love to share with you an incredible resource that helped me break free from my own self-imposed limitations: Rudá Iandê’s “Free Your Mind” masterclass.
This enlightening journey, which I had the privilege to co-produce, is designed to help you transcend limiting beliefs and societal conditioning. It equips you with valuable insights into aligning your thoughts and actions with personal values, leading to improved mental clarity and emotional resilience.
One exercise from this masterclass, in particular, promotes a mindset shift from frustration and guilt to love and acceptance, effectively helping you embrace your true potential.
If you’re interested in stepping out of societal norms and embracing your authentic self, I wholeheartedly recommend joining this masterclass. There’s no better time than now to embark on your journey towards mental and emotional liberation.
4) Wearing masks to fit in
Following on from that, since we live in a society that often values conformity over authenticity, wearing different masks is another way we try to fit in. We change ourselves to meet the expectations of others.
I’ve realized over time that these masks are just illusions – they serve to hide our true selves and amplify our insecurities. It’s a deceptive game, one where you lose yourself trying to be someone you’re not.
And you know what that means — it’s an indication of low self-belief.
The raw, honest truth is that you don’t need to fit into someone else’s mold to be accepted or loved. Your worth lies in your authenticity, and your uniqueness. It’s when you fully embrace who you truly are that you begin to believe in yourself.
Ask yourself this: Are you wearing a mask right now? If so, what would happen if you took it off?
5) Neglecting self-compassion
We often think that being our own harshest critic is the best way to push ourselves towards success. We invest our energy into self-criticism, believing it will drive us forward.
But in reality, it’s a sign of low self-belief.
The fact is, being hard on ourselves only serves to erode our confidence and self-esteem. It fuels self-doubt and keeps us stuck in a cycle of negativity. What we need instead is to cultivate self-compassion.
Being compassionate towards oneself means understanding and accepting our flaws, and treating ourselves with kindness, regardless of our mistakes or failures. It’s acknowledging that we are all works-in-progress, and that’s perfectly okay.
Remember this: the journey towards self-belief begins with self-compassion. Be kind to yourself. You’re doing better than you think.
6) Overcompensating to hide insecurities
There’s a common tendency to overcompensate when we feel insecure, whether it’s by boasting about our achievements, adopting a dominant demeanor, or constantly seeking attention.
We believe that by doing so, we can mask our insecurities. But yet again, this is just another manifestation of low self-belief.
The ironic thing is, overcompensation often highlights the very insecurities we are trying to hide. It creates a façade that might fool others for a while but fails to fool ourselves.
What we need instead is to acknowledge our insecurities, confront them, and work towards overcoming them. This is the path towards genuine confidence and self-belief.
Real talk — authenticity shines brighter than any façade. Your true power lies in your ability to embrace your vulnerabilities and transform them into strengths.
7) Shying away from failure
In our success-obsessed society, failure is often perceived as something to be avoided at all costs. We fear it so much that we avoid taking risks or stepping out of our comfort zones.
The bottom line here is that we get scared because we don’t believe that we’re capable of doing what needs to be done, as well as bouncing back if we do fail.
Well, let me give you some perspective — you’re still here, still standing, right? That means you’ve got what it takes to handle whatever life throws at you. You just need to believe it!
Change the way you think about failure. See it as a resource that offers valuable lessons and opportunities for growth.
Instead of running away from failure, embrace it. View it as feedback and an invitation to evolve and adapt. In doing so, you’ll find that failure isn’t the end of the road but rather a stepping stone on your path towards self-belief.
Remember, the only real failure is the failure to try. So dare to fail, dare to learn, and most importantly, dare to believe in yourself.
Final thoughts
Recognizing the subtle ways low self-belief shows up in our actions is the first step toward rewriting our inner narrative.
It’s easy to fall into patterns that keep us playing small, but real growth begins when we see these habits for what they are—signs that we’re ready for change.
When you acknowledge these behaviors, you open the door to more confidence, self-acceptance, and ultimately, a life where you’re empowered to go after what you truly want.
For those who are ready to take a leap towards boosting their self-belief, I strongly recommend the “Free Your Mind” masterclass with Rudá Iandê. As a co-producer of this masterclass, I’ve seen firsthand the profound impact it can have on transforming one’s mindset and fostering true self-belief.
In this masterclass, Rudá Iandê guides you through exercises designed to help you break free from societal conditioning and overcome self-imposed limitations. The insights gained from this journey can lead you towards improved mental clarity, emotional resilience, and most importantly, a stronger belief in yourself.
Embarking on this journey with Rudá Iandê’s masterclass could be your first step towards embracing your authentic self and cultivating a robust sense of self-belief. Remember, the journey to self-belief begins with you.
