7 signs a woman is being friendly with you (but isn’t flirting)

Handling social dynamics can be a tricky game, especially when it comes to understanding signals from the opposite sex.

It’s easy to misinterpret friendliness for flirtation, and trust me when I say, it can create some awkward situations.

But here’s the real kicker.

Sometimes, it’s not about them sending mixed signals.

It could be about you missing the subtle cues in their behavior.

So if you’re scratching your head, wondering what on earth is going on and asking yourself “Is she just being friendly or is she flirting?” then you’re in the right place.

This article aims to clear up your confusion by identifying seven clear signs that a woman is being friendly with you, but isn’t necessarily flirting.

Let’s dive in:

1) She maintains a comfortable distance

Ever heard of personal space or “proxemics”?

It’s that invisible boundary we all have around us.

When someone is flirting, they often invade this space to create a sense of intimacy.

But when a woman is just being friendly, she respects this boundary.

Take note of the physical distance she maintains.

If she stays at a comfortable arm’s length during conversations and doesn’t engage in unnecessary touching, chances are she’s just being friendly.

So, if she doesn’t seem to be closing the gap, it’s a good sign she’s not flirting but simply enjoying your company in a platonic way.

2) Her conversations are general, not personal

Here’s a thing I’ve noticed over the years.

When someone is flirting, their conversations tend to get a bit more personal.

They’ll ask about your background, your likes and dislikes, your dreams, and your fears.

They take a genuine interest in getting to know you on a deeper level.

But let me share an experience with you.

A couple of years back, I met this woman at a conference.

We hit it off instantly.

We’d chat every day about work, current affairs, movies—you name it.

But she never delved into my personal life or shared much about hers.

It was all very… surface-level.

At first, I thought she was just shy or reserved.

But then it hit me—she wasn’t flirting; she was just being friendly!

The topics were general because she wanted to keep things casual and platonic.

3) She talks about other people she’s close to

Imagine this: you’re having a great conversation with a woman—the vibe is good, and you’re enjoying the interaction.

But then, she starts talking about her best friend’s recent trip to Bali or her brother’s new job.

Maybe she even mentions that guy from work who’s been really helpful lately.

That’s when you might feel a pang of… disappointment? Confusion?

Let me tell you, it’s not about trying to make you jealous or confused, it’s actually a pretty clear signal that she is being friendly, not flirtatious.

When a woman is interested in you romantically, she tends to focus the conversation on the two of you.

But if she frequently brings up others in her life, it’s her subtle way of showing that she views your relationship as friendly rather than romantic.

It might sting a bit at first, but understanding this can save you from misreading the situation.

4) She doesn’t initiate contact

Ever find yourself being the first one to text or call?

If you’re the one always initiating conversations or making plans to meet up, it could be a sign that she’s just being friendly.

Now, don’t get me wrong.

That doesn’t mean she doesn’t value your friendship or enjoy your company.

But here’s the deal.

When a woman is flirting, she usually can’t wait to talk to you, and therefore, she initiates contact frequently.

She wants to keep that connection going and see where it might lead.

On the other hand, if she’s just being friendly, she will respond when you reach out, engage in conversation and maybe even hang out with you.

But she might not be the one to kick-start these interactions.

5) She maintains eye contact but doesn’t hold your gaze

Eye contact is powerful.

It can convey a whole range of emotions, from interest and attraction to respect and understanding.

But it’s also a little science-y.

Studies have shown that when people are attracted to someone, they tend to hold their gaze for a longer time.

It’s like they’re trying to create a deeper connection by looking into your soul.

On the flip side, when a woman is just being friendly, she will make eye contact to show that she’s engaged in the conversation.

But you’ll notice that she doesn’t hold your gaze for an extended period.

She’s not trying to create that intense romantic connection.

Instead, she’s showing respect and attentiveness by listening and responding to what you’re saying.

So, next time you’re in conversation with her, pay attention to her eye contact.

It can tell you more than you might think.

6) She’s supportive but not overly invested

Friendship is all about support, right?

When you’re down, a good friend is there to pick you up, offer advice, or simply listen.

A woman being friendly with you will show this kind of support.

She’ll be there for you during tough times, and she’ll celebrate your successes.

But here’s where it gets a bit tricky.

There’s a fine line between being supportive as a friend and being emotionally invested as more than a friend.

If she’s flirting, she might worry about your problems as if they were her own or go out of her way to help you out in ways that might exceed the boundaries of friendship.

Being empathetic is part of being a good friend, but it isn’t the same as being emotionally invested in someone on a deeper level.

7) She’s clear about her intentions

At the end of the day, the most definitive sign that a woman is being friendly with you and not flirting is when she’s upfront about it.

Some women will make it clear from the get-go that they’re only interested in friendship.

They might say things like “You’re such a good friend” or “I’m glad we’re friends.”

This isn’t her trying to friend-zone you or hurt your feelings.

It’s her being honest and clear about her intentions.

Clarity is key in any relationship, and honesty is always the best policy.

If she’s giving you these verbal cues, take them at face value.

She values your friendship and wants to maintain that bond without any misconceptions or mixed signals getting in the way.

The final thought

So, you’ve made it through the signs, and perhaps, you’ve started to see things from a different perspective.

The important thing is not to take it personally if a woman is just being friendly with you rather than flirting.

It’s not a reflection of your worth or appeal.

It’s simply about her feelings and intentions, which are hers to manage.

Now comes the part where you take stock.

Reflect on your interactions, assess the signals, and most importantly, communicate.

If you’re unsure about her intentions, it’s okay to ask.

Honest conversation can clear up a lot of confusion and prevent unnecessary misunderstandings.

But remember this—friendship is a beautiful thing.

Cherish it for what it is.

Don’t rush or force romantic inclinations where they don’t exist.

And who knows?

As you grow in understanding and emotional intelligence, you might just find that your relationships, both platonic and romantic, become richer and more meaningful.

After all, every connection we make adds a unique value to our lives.

Let’s appreciate them in all their varied forms.

Picture of Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham, based in Auckland, writes about the psychology behind everyday decisions and life choices. His perspective is grounded in the belief that understanding oneself is the key to better decision-making. Lucas’s articles are a mix of personal anecdotes and observations, offering readers relatable and down-to-earth advice.

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