You can’t please everybody.
The latter is as much of a universal truth as you’ll come across in life.
If you don’t believe it, do a quick scroll through Instagram.
You’ll see people hating on the most charitable, kindest, wholesome posts on the internet.
I know people who are genuinely kind and well-meaning to everyone but still have a few detractors here and there.
Sad, I know.
But this just seems to be how we are built as a species, unfortunately.
For every person who likes you, there will often be a few more that, for whatever reasons, can’t stand you.
While you shouldn’t stress if you think a few people dislike you, you also shouldn’t rush to conclusions.
I’m here to help.
In this article, I’ll take you through the behaviors of someone who quietly dislikes you.
Let’s get to it!
1) Minimal eye contact
When it comes to disliking someone, actions always speak louder than words.
After all, anyone can say a few kind things and pretend to find you interesting.
So pay closer attention to their body language cues, such as eye contact.
When you dislike someone, the instinctive tendency is to avoid sustained eye contact, as you struggle to fully hide your disdain for the other person.
And obviously, the opposite is true as well.
When we respect someone and want to build rapport, we tend to want to make eye contact and create some sort of emotional connection.
2) Short or dismissive responses
I think most of us can relate: when we aren’t particularly into someone, we won’t often give them much of our attention.
When I was younger and still dating, I’d text women, and when they’d give disinterested, short replies, I could gauge their level of interest in me.
It’s not exactly rocket science: when someone likes you, they’ll be expressive and open; and when they don’t, they’ll subconsciously shut down, effectively telling you to back away.
So if you try making conversation with someone, and their replies are brief and lack engagement, the majority of times, they aren’t very fond of you.
3) Delayed responses to messages
When you like someone, the tendency is to get back to them in a prompt manner.
Why?
Because you enjoy your conversations and interactions with them, you enjoy cultivating a special relationship with them.
So if you find someone regularly takes hours, even days, to reply to your messages, this points to their lack of investment in you.
Sure, in a fast-paced world missing the occasional text is normal, but when it becomes a pattern, something deeper is likely at play.
And they can have all the excuses in the world like “Sorry, I’m just seeing this now, I’ve been so busy…” a week after receiving it… but the fact is that when delayed responses become a habit, this means you aren’t a priority in someone’s life.
Don’t overthink it.
4) Lack of enthusiasm around you
When we like people, we naturally become more energetic and excited around them.
This is only natural.
And when we don’t like them?
Apart from the occasional person who is a veritable pro at being plastic, you can probably imagine how things play out for the rest of us.
Most of us will exhibit noticeably lower energy levels around that person without realizing it, communicating a subtle loathing for them and their company.
5) Subtle body language cues
Apart from a lack of eye contact, when someone dislikes you, they’ll typically subconsciously display an array of body language gestures to portray their feelings.
So pay close attention.
After all, science says that the vast majority of our communication in person with one another is through body language.
Look out for closed-off postures, like crossed arms or angled bodies away from you.
The latter may indicate discomfort or avoidance of your presence.
6) Backhanded compliments
Some people can be quite sly and snarky when expressing their dislike for you.
This can mean backhanded compliments… AKA, compliments that are closely accompanied by criticism or a jab of subtle but mean-spirited sarcasm.
Maybe they’ll praise your intelligence, classiness, or style but offer a caveat like “you’re a lot smarter than you look,” or “I love how you dress like you don’t care what people think.”
In the latter cases, they’re only pretending to compliment you, hiding behind the guise of flattery… but if you look past the surface, they want to damage your ego in their own special way.
So if someone regularly praises you, but you walk away feeling confused by their sentiment, chances are they’ve just given you a backhanded compliment.
7) Not including you in group conversations
I have a group chat with my high school buddies.
I now live in a different country to them, so I’m glad I have a place where I catch up with them virtually now and then.
Of course, for whatever reasons, not everybody unanimously liked me in school.
And years later, these same people today tend to ignore me in the group chat. Shocker.
They’ll never react to any of my messages, good, bad, or, funny, despite otherwise being lively, social, and active in the forum.
What am I getting at?
Whether online or in person, when someone doesn’t like you, they’ll subtly exclude you from discussions, doing their best to make you feel invisible, excluded, and unimportant.
8) Lack of personal questions
Some people feel obligated to deal with you–be it because you’re related or in the same friend group–and will act like it.
They have no desire to elevate your connection and make it more meaningful since this takes effort and investment… things they are unwilling to partake in.
Hence, they won’t ask you in-depth questions about your life, interests, well-being, and so on.
Instead, they’ll actively keep things surface-level, remaining indifferent about forming a deeper bond and connection.
Final words
If you notice that a couple of people don’t like you, don’t sweat it.
Most of the time a person’s disapproval of you has to do with their baggage and insecurities.
But if you’ve realized that many people are repelled by your presence, perhaps it’s time to do some soul-searching.
As established, nobody is perfect in this world, so stay dedicated to improving and getting better as an individual.
Once you stay on course, there will be no stopping you.
The fact that you’re reading this is a major step in the right direction. You got this.
