Today, I spoke to Laurie Davis, who is the eFlirt expert and co-host of LoveNation, a weekly Web show that covers emerging trends in the dating world. In this interview Laurie talks about how she branded herself, how your online profile can impact your dating life, what it takes to be an online dating coach, how to choose the right online dating site, and more.
Laurie, when did you decide to brand yourself as the “eFlirt Expert”?
My experience with online dating began nine years ago, but I branded myself as the eFlirt Expert in April of 2009. After five years in marketing and production, I decided to diversify my professional background during the recession. I realized that for literally years I’ve been helping people date online and in-person – I just never thought twice about it! So when I began the business, I already had several success stories of people who met online, moved in together and were even buying rings. I apply my marketing savvy to online dating profiles to create the ultimate branding campaigns for my clients. After all, when you date online, you are marketing your single-self!
How can someone’s online profile impact dating? Is there such a thing as a blind date anymore?
Your profile is a virtual first impression to a match. The old adage “first impressions mean everything” applies digitally when you meet through a computer screen. Just like any good marketing campaign, you want to start with a sentence that will intrigue your readers, continue to unfold information as your profile progresses and not make it too lengthy so they stay curious. If your profile doesn’t accurately reflect you, though, you won’t meet ideal matches. As in real life, if you don’t project confidence, your matches are likely to gloss over you. It’s not just the profile that matters, either. It’s the dating site you are on, the filters you set, who you’re reaching out to and the emails you write.
As far as true blind dates are concerned – the our-friends-set-us-up kind of dates – they only exist if you allow them to. In a world where everyone has a digital footprint, you can easily Google your date before you meet up. I encourage you not too, though! When you prowl online for research, you’re likely to find only half of the information. For example, you might only be able to see your date’s main Facebook photo where they are posing with a child. You might immediately assume they have kids, but what you can’t see is the caption that the child is their niece. Prowling online before a blind date will only make you jump to unnecessary conclusions. Meet them first and let them tell you what they are all about before you start e-stalking. This goes for online daters, too! Hold off on Googling until you’ve met face-to-face.
What goes into being an online dating coach? Is it harder for you to date because of it?
I help singles who are new to online dating or who have been online for a while without success. I write (or re-write) their profiles for them, strategize which site would be the best fit for what they are looking for, ghostwrite emails to their matches and in some cases, even manage their accounts on various sites. I take online dating one step further though and help them transition to in-person dating, too! I analyze their wardrobe, give dating advice and wing woman. It’s not harder for me to date as a dating coach because… well… I’m in a relationship! I met my boyfriend on Twitter and we couldn’t be happier.
How do you know which online dating site you should join? Should someone join all of them to increase their chances?
Being on the right site for your personality and what you’re looking for is the most important part of online dating. Each site has its own unique population of daters and the crowd varies by geographic location. Just because one site worked for your friend, doesn’t mean it will work for you. Start by banishing all thoughts of the recent commercials you’ve seen! Bigger isn’t necessarily better. Next, think about your gingerbread man or woman. If you could mix all the perfect ingredients together and he or she would pop out of the oven, what would they look like? Act like? Be passionate about? etc. Then, start looking at sites. I’m happy to point you in the right direction if you email me.
One hint is that most sites will allow you to look through your matches before you purchase a fully functional account. Join and take a peek through your matches. If you don’t see any ideal matches after skimming through about 50 profiles, move on. If you’re new to online dating, stick with one site for the first month and get acclimated to the process before you spread your virtual wings. Joining more than one site is only a good idea if you have time in your schedule to log-in to each account at least three times a week.
What are some things people should watch out for when engaging in online dating?
If you’re new to a site, don’t join for more than a single month. Just because they are likely offering a price break to you if you do more than one month, doesn’t mean it is going to save you money. If the month goes well, then feel free to buy multiple months. Being safe is important. Always use a user name that is not otherwise associated with the rest of your life (i.e. your AIM name or a log-in you use for other sites). Create something unique so your user name won’t appear in Google searches.
A first date is not a first date when online dating; it’s a meet and greet. Choose an activity that is short and casual, like grabbing a drink or cup of coffee. See if chemistry exists and how you connect real-time. If you hit it off, then go out on a “real” date next time! This will not only prove to be a timesaver but it will help keep a proper mindset while you’re meeting, too. Don’t expect fireworks, just look for potential.
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Laurie Davis is the eFlirt expert. She wrote her first online dating profile nine years ago when dating on the web was taboo. She learned the ins and outs and followed the industry’s evolution closely. When meeting online became more socially acceptable, Laurie encouraged her friends to subscribe. She quickly became their virtual lifejacket in the sea of online dating. Laurie developed a passion for coaching singles and has helped several couples enter into the serious commitment of moving in together. Laurie fuses her personal experience and background in marketing to help singles become successful daters. Laurie has lent her knowledge and expertise to the Washington Post, Boston Globe, Health.com and many other outlets. She is the host of LoveNation, a weekly Web show that covers emerging trends in the dating world. Additionally, Laurie is the NY Tech Dating Examiner and a contributing writer for The Guyds.
