Women who pretend to be nice but are actually manipulative usually display these 7 subtle behaviors

It’s no secret that not everyone is as nice as they appear. Some women, in particular, can put on a facade of kindness while subtly manipulating those around them.

This distinction, though subtle, can be pivotal in the nature of relationships. It’s about the difference between genuine warmth and veiled manipulation.

Manipulation is all about control, often masked behind sweet smiles and kind words. It’s about getting what they want without revealing their true intentions.

But how do you spot these manipulative behaviors? Especially when they’re so subtly delivered?

Well, there are certain tell-tale signs that give away these manipulative women. Here, we’ll delve into those seven subtle behaviors that women who pretend to be nice but are actually manipulative often display.

1) Overly sweet compliments

One way that manipulative women often disguise their true intentions is behind a barrage of compliments.

They know the power of flattery and how it can disarm us. Who doesn’t like to be praised, after all?

But this isn’t just any ordinary praise. These compliments are excessively sweet, almost too good to be true. And they’re given out more frequently than usual.

The aim here is to distract you, to make you feel special and valued. It’s a clever strategy to get you to drop your guard and make you more susceptible to their influence.

But here’s the catch – these compliments often lack depth or sincerity. They’re not based on genuine appreciation but rather an attempt to manipulate your emotions.

2) They play victim often

This one hits home for me. I once had a friend who seemed to always be in some form of crisis. One week, it was issues with her job, the next, it was a fight with her boyfriend, and then before you knew it, she was having problems with her family.

She would pour out her heart to me, seeking sympathy and support. And of course, being a good friend, I would provide it.

But over time, I started noticing a pattern. She was always the victim. She was always the one being wronged, misunderstood or taken advantage of.

It got to a point where every conversation was about her problems and how everyone else was to blame. She used her victim status to manipulate those around her into giving her what she wanted – attention, sympathy, time, resources.

Eventually, I realized this was a manipulation tactic she used quite effectively. By playing the victim constantly, she ensured that she received constant support and attention from the people around her.

3) They use guilt trips

Manipulative individuals often master the art of guilt-tripping. They have a knack for making you feel guilty for things that aren’t your fault or responsibility.

This tactic is often employed to control or influence your behavior. By making you feel guilty, they can sway you into doing what they want.

For example, let’s consider a woman who always insists on paying the bill when she goes out with friends. She insists so much that her friends eventually let her do it. But later, she brings up how she always pays and uses this as leverage to guilt her friends into doing something for her.

This might seem like a generous act at the outset, but it’s actually a calculated move. Studies have shown that when we feel indebted to someone, we’re more likely to go out of our way to repay that debt, even if it means doing something we wouldn’t normally do.

4) They’re always changing the subject

Another common trait of manipulative women is their knack for changing the subject, especially when it’s something they don’t want to discuss.

This tactic serves as a diversion, steering the conversation away from topics they find uncomfortable or unflattering and towards topics where they can maintain control.

For example, if you’re trying to address an issue or a behavior that’s bothering you, they might quickly shift the conversation to a completely unrelated matter. Or they might bring up an old issue to deflect attention from the current one.

This constant topic-jumping can be confusing and frustrating. It’s a subtle way of avoiding accountability and taking control of the narrative.

5) They are passive-aggressive

I’ve had my fair share of encounters with passive-aggressiveness. There was a time when I worked with a colleague who would give backhanded compliments or make sarcastic remarks under the guise of humor.

She would often say things like, “You’re so brave for wearing that outfit” or “It must be nice not to have to worry about being on time.” These remarks were hurtful, but she would brush them off as jokes if confronted.

This is a classic example of passive-aggressive behavior – expressing negative feelings or aggression in an indirect, seemingly benign way.

But here’s the thing about passive-aggressiveness – it’s a subtle form of manipulation. It allows the manipulator to convey their negative feelings without taking responsibility for them.

6) They resort to emotional blackmail

Manipulative women often resort to emotional blackmail to get what they want. This is a powerful and potentially damaging form of manipulation that involves using a person’s fears, vulnerabilities, and insecurities against them.

For instance, a manipulative woman might threaten to end a relationship if her demands aren’t met. Or she might play on a person’s fear of being alone, or their desire for peace and harmony, to manipulate them into submission.

This form of manipulation is particularly harmful because it can cause significant emotional distress. It’s a tactic designed to force someone into doing something they don’t want to do by making them feel scared, guilty, or obligated.

7) They seldom apologize

Perhaps the most telling sign of a manipulative woman is her reluctance to apologize. Even when they’re clearly wrong or have hurt someone, they find it hard to admit their faults and say sorry.

Instead, they might shift the blame onto others or downplay the impact of their actions. They might even twist the situation to make themselves look like the victim.

This non-apologetic behavior serves as a defense mechanism, protecting them from having to admit their wrongdoings and face the consequences.

Final thoughts: It’s about awareness

Manipulation is often about control and power, hidden behind the veil of niceness. And while it might seem innocent or harmless at first, it can lead to toxic relationships and environments.

So whether it’s overly sweet compliments, passive-aggressive comments, guilt trips, or a lack of genuine apologies – recognizing these signs is the first step towards protecting ourselves and promoting healthier interactions.

True kindness doesn’t come with strings attached. Genuine people would respect your autonomy and not use underhanded tactics to influence your decisions.

Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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