Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you constantly feel frustrated, misunderstood, or even drained?
Sometimes, it’s not about what you’re doing wrong but about the kind of person you’re with.
Let’s be honest—some personality types are just tougher to navigate in relationships, no matter how patient or loving you are.
Psychology gives us a deeper look into the traits and behaviors that can make certain men particularly challenging to connect with romantically.
In this article, I’ll break down these types for you, so you can spot the red flags early and save yourself a lot of heartache.
Here are seven types of men who can be incredibly hard to be in a relationship with—and why.
1) The narcissist
When it comes to relationships, few things are as challenging as being with a narcissist.
Psychologists define narcissistic behavior as an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.
Sounds like a recipe for heartbreak, doesn’t it?
Narcissists are often charming and charismatic at first glance, but their true colors shine through once the initial enchantment fades. They’re more interested in their needs and desires than yours, making you feel undervalued and unimportant.
It’s crucial to recognize these signs early in the relationship, so you can decide whether it’s worth your emotional investment or not. After all, everyone deserves to be in a relationship where there’s mutual respect and consideration.
2) The commitment-phobe
A commitment-phobe is someone who is afraid of commitment in a relationship. They might fear losing their freedom, repeating past relationship mistakes, or they might just not be ready to settle down.
Let me share a personal story. I once dated a guy who was the epitome of a commitment-phobe.
He was charming, funny, and we had a great connection. But when it came to defining the relationship or talking about future plans, he would always evade the topic or change it altogether.
I remember one time, after dating for several months, I brought up the idea of moving in together. He immediately started talking about how he loved his apartment and how moving in together was a huge step that he wasn’t ready for.
This is exactly how commitment-phobes react when pushed to go to the next level.
As thought leader and speaker Melanie Schilling describes this type, “If pressured for a commitment, they are far more likely to leave the relationship than to make the commitment. Or they may initially agree to the commitment, then back down days or weeks later, because of their overwhelming anxiety and fears.”
This type of man can be hard to be in a relationship with because you never know where you stand. You’re always left wondering if they’ll ever be ready to take that next step with you.
3) The control freak
In a relationship, balance is key. But when you’re with a control freak, this balance often tilts heavily in their favor.
A control freak is someone who needs to have everything their way. They want to dictate what you do, who you see, and even what you wear. They have a need for everything to be perfect and under their control.
The strange thing is, control freaks often believe that they’re helping when they’re controlling. They genuinely think that by taking over and dictating how things should be done, they’re making things better.
But in a relationship, this behavior can be stifling and oppressive. Nobody likes to feel controlled or manipulated. It’s important to recognize these signs early on and establish boundaries to ensure mutual respect and freedom in the relationship.
4) The emotional vampire
Ever been in a relationship where you constantly feel drained and exhausted? You might have been dealing with an emotional vampire.
An emotional vampire is someone who saps your emotional energy, leaving you feeling drained and exhausted. They’re often overly dramatic, playing up their problems and expecting you to constantly be there to support and comfort them.
While it’s important to be supportive in a relationship, it should never be to the extent that it drains your own emotional resources. A relationship should be about give and take, not just one person constantly taking.
So if you find yourself feeling emotionally depleted after spending time with your partner, it might be time to take a step back and evaluate whether this is the type of relationship you want to be in.
5) The constant critic
Speaking of men who drain your energy, it’s never easy to be in a relationship with someone who’s always finding fault in what you do. I’ve been there, and it’s tough.
Every little thing you do is subjected to criticism. Whether it’s the way you cook, the clothes you wear, or the friends you hang out with, nothing seems good enough.
In my case, my partner would often criticize my career choices, making me feel inadequate and second-guessing my decisions. It was a constant battle of trying to prove my worth.
Criticism, when constructive, can foster growth. But when it’s constant and breaks your self-esteem, it becomes toxic. It’s crucial to distinguish between the two and stand up for yourself when needed. You deserve respect and appreciation just as much as anyone else.
6) The overly jealous type
Jealousy, to a certain extent, is normal in a relationship. It shows that your partner cares about you and doesn’t want to lose you. But when it crosses a line and becomes excessive, it can be damaging.
The overly jealous type is someone who’s always suspicious of your actions and intentions. They want to know where you are, who you’re with, and what you’re doing at all times.
This type of behavior can feel suffocating and can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration. It’s important to establish trust in a relationship, as it’s the foundation for a healthy and successful partnership.
7) The uncommunicative partner
If there’s one thing that’s crucial in a relationship, it’s communication. Without it, misunderstandings arise, issues remain unresolved, and resentment builds up.
Unfortunately, that’s how it will always be if you’re with an uncommunicative partner. Because they find it difficult to express their thoughts and feelings, they might avoid difficult conversations or shut down when you try to discuss something important.
This can lead to a lot of frustration and confusion as you’re left guessing what they’re thinking or feeling.
Real talk — you can’t solve problems if you don’t talk about them. So a partner who doesn’t communicate effectively can be very hard to be in a relationship with.
Final thoughts
Relationships are never simple, and being with someone who exhibits challenging traits can test even the strongest connections.
Of course, no one is perfect, and everyone comes with their own set of flaws, yourself included. However, some behaviors and personality types can create a dynamic that feels more like a constant uphill battle than a partnership.
Understanding these traits isn’t about judgment—it’s about clarity. Recognizing when a relationship is more draining than fulfilling is the first step in deciding what’s right for you.
A healthy relationship should uplift you, not weigh you down. Whether it’s addressing issues together or choosing to walk away, knowing what you need and deserve is key to finding a connection that truly works.
