When you’re getting to know someone new, it’s natural to want to be open and honest. After all, building a connection starts with sharing pieces of yourself, right?
But here’s the thing—there’s such a thing as too much too soon.
While honesty is key in any relationship, not everything needs to be laid out on the table right away.
Some details are better saved for when the relationship has had time to grow.
So, what’s worth keeping under wraps in those early days of dating?
In this article, I’ll share seven things you should think twice about sharing with a new romantic prospect. It’s not about hiding who you are—it’s about pacing yourself and letting trust build naturally.
Let’s dive in.
1) Your complete dating history
Let’s face it, folks. We all have a past. And that past often includes a list of ex-lovers, flings, and maybe even a few heartbreaks.
But here’s the thing – when you’re just starting to get to know someone new, they don’t need the whole rundown of your romantic past. Sure, it’s a part of who you are.
But it’s not all of who you are.
Diving deep into details about your exes can create unnecessary comparisons and might even breed insecurity in your new partner. After all, they’re here to get to know you, not your past relationships.
Of course, honesty is crucial. If they ask about your past relationships, it’s okay to give a general overview. But try to keep the focus on the present and the potential future you two might share.
Remember, this isn’t about hiding who you are. It’s about pacing the information and allowing the relationship to develop naturally. So keep the ex-talk on the low down in the early stages of dating.
2) Your intense feelings for them
Sounds strange, right? After all, isn’t love what we’re seeking in a romantic relationship?
True, but here’s the twist – expressing deep, intense feelings too early can be a red flag. It might come across as insincere or even scare your new prospect away.
Falling head over heels can be exciting, but it’s essential to let feelings develop at a natural pace. If you’re already planning your wedding after the first date, you might want to keep that to yourself for now.
This doesn’t mean you should hide your affection. It’s more about expressing your feelings appropriately and not overwhelming your new partner.
So yes, love is wonderful. But in the early stages of dating, it’s best to show it through consistent respect and care rather than rushing to declare undying love.
3) Your tendency to be overly dependent
Alright, let’s get personal for a moment here.
As a relationship expert, I’ve seen it time and time again – new relationships can sometimes trigger our insecurities and fears. And, if not kept in check, these fears can lead us to become overly dependent on our new partner.
No one wants to feel like they are their partner’s sole source of happiness or support. It’s a heavy burden to bear and can lead to an unhealthy dynamic in your relationship.
I’ve delved deep into this topic in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. If you recognize this tendency in yourself, I strongly recommend giving it a read.
But the key point here is this – maintain your independence. It’s okay to lean on your partner for support, but remember to stand on your own two feet too.
Your relationship should enhance your life, not define it. Show them that you’re a whole person, with or without them. It’s not just attractive; it’s healthy too.
4) Your financial struggles
Money matters, but it isn’t everything. And it’s certainly not the first thing you should bring up when getting to know someone romantically.
Sure, we’ve all had our ups and downs financially. Heck, I’ve eaten my fair share of ramen noodles and counted pennies to make rent.
But early on in a relationship, it’s not necessary to lay out your entire financial situation.
Your worth as a person and potential partner is not determined by your bank account. While financial stability is important in the long term, it’s not the foundation of a blossoming romance.
So, let’s keep our focus on building connections, shared interests, and mutual respect. The money talk can wait for when the relationship becomes more serious.
5) All your personal insecurities
We all have insecurities. They’re part of being human. You might feel like your laugh is too loud or that you’re not as outgoing as other people.
But here’s the thing – those quirks and idiosyncrasies?
They’re what make you, you. And the right person will love you for them, not in spite of them.
However, in the early stages of dating, it’s best not to lay all your insecurities out on the table. It can create an uneven dynamic where the relationship becomes more about reassurance than mutual growth and enjoyment. It’s a lot to place on the other person’s shoulders.
Besides, it can contaminate the relationship in a way that fosters doubt and unnecessary tension.
Studies show that when someone feels insecure and expresses it to their partner, they then believe their partner sees them as weak or overly needy. This makes them distrust the partner’s love and affection, creating a cycle that keeps feeding their insecurity.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to be open and vulnerable with your partner. But there’s a time and place for that level of deep self-disclosure, and it’s usually a little down the road.
So, hold back on sharing all your insecurities right at the start. Instead, allow your confidence to shine through and let them fall for the awesome person you are.
6) Your family drama
Every family has its quirks. Mine is no exception. I’ve got an uncle who’s convinced he’s been abducted by aliens, and holiday dinners are always an… adventure.
But when you’re just beginning a new relationship, it’s probably best to keep the family dance offstage.
Sharing too much about your family issues can be overwhelming for your new romantic prospect. It might even make them question what they’re signing up for.
So, while honesty is important, it doesn’t mean you need to share every detail about your family dynamics right away. Let them meet your family first and form their own opinions before unpacking any baggage.
For more insights and tips like these, be sure to follow me on Facebook. I’d love to continue this conversation there!
7) Your desperation to be in a relationship
This one is a tough pill to swallow.
But here’s the truth – desperation is not attractive. If you’re entering a new relationship solely because you can’t stand being alone, that’s a red flag.
We’ve all felt the sting of loneliness. We’ve all yearned for companionship. But a relationship should never be about filling a void or curing loneliness. It should be about mutual respect, shared interests, and genuine affection.
If you’re feeling desperate to be in a relationship, it might be time to take a step back and focus on yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company. Find happiness within yourself before seeking it in others.
Remember, being single is not a flaw or a failure. It’s simply a state of being. And sometimes, it’s exactly where you need to be in order to grow and prepare for the right relationship.
So keep the desperation at bay. Focus on building a connection instead of rushing into a relationship. You’re worth more than that.
Final thoughts
Navigating the early stages of a romantic relationship can feel like walking a tightrope.
On one hand, you want to be open and authentic, but on the other, you don’t want to overwhelm your new partner with too much information.
Remember, it’s not about hiding who you are, but about pacing the information and allowing the relationship to develop naturally. You’re an extraordinary individual with a unique story to tell – but that story doesn’t need to be told all at once.
For those of you feeling the pressure to be in a relationship or questioning your worth because you’re single, I highly recommend this video by Justin Brown. He dives deep into the beauty of being single as a meaningful phase of growth, self-discovery, and personal commitment.
Embrace where you are right now. Whether you’re single or beginning a new relationship, remember – you are enough just as you are. And when it comes to love, timing is everything.
