They say that variety is the spice of life, and yet deep down inside we long to connect with people just like us. We want to find that person (or group of people) whose temperaments, talents, and convictions dovetail with ours and who have personal brands that perfectly complement ours.
We want to find the person with which we perfectly agree – their black is our black, their white is our white and our shades of gray tend to mirror one another. We want to find the person with a very similar work ethic – they know exactly when to bear down and they know just how to ease up. We want to find the person whose interests mimic ours – we always seem to be heading in the same direction.
Your perfect compatibility with no one
The reality is that no two people are the same and no two people are a perfect complement to one another. It is just a fact of life that everyone is going to rub us the wrong way at some time or another. What of it? We ought to take a lesson from the prickly porcupines.
A long time ago, the forest was experiencing the coldest winter ever. Many animals were dying because of the frigid temperatures. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to huddle together. This way they could cover and protect themselves from the bitter cold.
Unfortunately, however, porcupines were equipped with thousands of sharp, pointy quills, which served to protect them from large predators. Though unintended, these quills wounded their closest companions as they attempt to snuggle and share body heat.
Everyone rubs us the wrong way, somehow
After awhile, the annoying pricks and pokes were almost too much to bear. As a group they lamented the sharp pains they inflicted on one another. Several contemplated disbanding the mass.
However, the wisest of the porcupines reminded the group that they had a choice. They could continue to enjoy the warmth if they endured an occasional stick or poke from a close companion. Or they could avoid these nuisance pains if they chose to distance themselves from one another. But if they did this, they would surely freeze to death, all alone in the frigid cold. In short, either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth.
Wisely, they decided to stay together. They learned to accept and live with the little wounds that were occasionally caused by the close relationship with their companions. But most importantly, they survived by sharing each other’s warmth.
Bad things can be good
The moral of the story is that the best relationships in life are not those that bring together perfect people. Rather the best relationships are those where the people can benefit from one another’s good qualities and yet learn to live with the imperfections.
Our relationships are not perfect and no two personal brands are completely compatible. No matter how compatible two people might be, we will endure the occasional unwarranted, unintended poke or prod. We need to accept that, because we will prosper for it.
Author:
Frank Agin is the founder and president of AmSpirit Business Connections. In addition, Frank is the author of Foundational Networking: Building Know, Like and Trust To Create A Lifetime of Extraordinary Success and the co-author of LinkedWorking: Generating Success on the World’s Largest Professional Networking Website and The Champion: Finding the Most Valuable Person in Your Network.
