When someone tells you you’re “too sensitive,” it’s easy to believe them—after all, they’re supposed to know you, right?
Being told you’re ‘too sensitive’ can make you question your emotions and reality, but it might not be about you at all.
If you’re feeling this way, it could be a sign that a gaslighting narcissist is manipulating you.
Actually, sometimes, that “you’re too sensitive” line is just a ruse—a ploy used by people who don’t want to take responsibility for their actions—and we call those folks, who use these tactics, ‘gaslighting narcissists.’
Here are eight signs that your sensitivity isn’t the problem—it’s them:
1) They constantly doubt you
Life is a rollercoaster of emotions, right?
Sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down—and that’s okay, it’s natural to feel a wide range of emotions in response to life’s ups and downs.
But when you’re around someone who constantly makes you question your own feelings, it becomes a problem.
You see, gaslighting narcissists have a knack for making you feel like you’re the one who’s overreacting or being “too sensitive.”
They twist your reality, making you doubt your own emotional responses.
Your feelings are valid—don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
2) They play the blame game
Here’s a thing about gaslighting narcissists: They never accept their faults–it’s always someone else’s fault, usually yours.
I’ll share a personal experience here: I had this friend, let’s call her Emma.
Now, Emma had a knack for turning things around.
If she arrived late for our meetings, it was because I hadn’t reminded her; if she forgot my birthday, it was because I hadn’t made it a big deal.
Basically, Emma never accepted responsibility for her mistakes, and it was always about how I or someone else should’ve done something differently.
Being constantly blamed for things that aren’t your fault, and made to feel guilty about them, is another sign you’re dealing with a gaslighting narcissist.
3) They have a selective memory
Gaslighting narcissists are notorious for their selective memory as they’ll conveniently forget about the promises they made, the nasty things they said, or the hurtful actions they took.
Selective memory, or selective amnesia, is clinically defined as the ability to retrieve certain facts and events but not others, and can stem from various causes, ranging from psychological coping mechanisms to neurological factors—gaslighting narcissists, however, only have this ‘selective memory’ because they deem some information as lacking purpose (or they simply aren’t of value to them).
If someone in your life frequently “forgets” about their wrongdoings and uses this as an excuse, then you already know why they’re doing this.
4) They trivialize your feelings
Everyone has a right to their feelings—we’re all unique individuals with different perspectives and reactions.
However, if someone in your life is always brushing off your concerns as unimportant, take note: Gaslighting narcissists have a habit of making you feel like your emotions are insignificant or exaggerated.
Remember, your feelings are important and deserve to be acknowledged.
5) They make you apologize…a lot
I remember a time when I found myself constantly saying sorry; sorry for being upset, sorry for expressing my emotions, and sorry for simply being me.
Here’s what I learned: If you find yourself always apologizing, especially when it’s not warranted, you might be dealing with a gaslighting narcissist as they have this skill of twisting situations to make you feel like you’re always in the wrong.
With this in mind, I learned that it’s not normal to always be the one apologizing.
6) They’re irresistibly charming
You’d think that someone causing you so much emotional turmoil wouldn’t be someone you’d enjoy being around, right?
Well, that’s where the tricky part comes in.
Most gaslighting narcissists can be incredibly charming as they know just what to say to draw you in and keep you hooked.
They’ll shower you with compliments one moment and make you feel special.
They use this charm as a way to keep you close, making it harder for you to identify their manipulative tactics.
7) They constantly drain you
Interactions shouldn’t consistently leave you feeling drained or depleted.
Of course, we all have those days when we’re a little low on energy, but if you notice a pattern of feeling emotionally exhausted after spending time with a specific person, it’s a red flag.
These emotional vampires can suck the energy out of you with their constant need for attention and their manipulative tactics, and leave you feeling empty and worn out.
8) Your gut is telling you something’s off
Trust your intuition; our intuition is our natural defense mechanism, alerting us when something isn’t quite right.
If you constantly feel uneasy around someone, if your gut is telling you that their behavior towards you isn’t normal or healthy, listen to it.
Your intuition can often spot a gaslighting narcissist even before you’ve put all the pieces together.
Trust it—after all, it’s there to protect you.
Embrace your sensitivity
If you’ve connected with this article, you might be realizing that you’re not “too sensitive.” Instead, you may be dealing with a gaslighting narcissist in your life.
But let’s shift our focus for a moment. Let’s talk about your sensitivity.
Your sensitivity is not a weakness. It’s a strength. It makes you empathetic, compassionate, and understanding. It allows you to connect deeply with others and the world around you.
As author Anthon St. Maarten said, “Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate.”
So embrace your sensitivity—it’s a part of who you are—and, most importantly, remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness always.
