We’ve all heard the saying, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
But how often do we take a step back to evaluate the quality of those relationships?
Sometimes, the people around us can hold us back without us even realizing it.
Whether it’s constant negativity, lack of support, or feeling drained after every interaction, there are clear signs that it’s time to upgrade your circle.
Here are seven key signs that indicate it’s time to start surrounding yourself with better quality people, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone and leaving some people behind.
1) You’re constantly feeling drained
Many people cite energy as a key factor in the quality of their relationships. So take a step back and pay attention to how you feel when you’re with certain people.
If you find yourself consistently exhausted after spending time with them, it could be a clear sign that you’re not in the right company.
There’s no point in pouring your energy into a black hole, is there? So why keep doing it?
Positive and uplifting relationships should leave you feeling energized and inspired, not depleted and deflated. If that’s not the case, it might be time for a change.
2) You’re constantly being criticized
Criticism is a part of life, and it’s important to be able to take constructive feedback. But there’s a line between constructive criticism and constant negativity.
The latter is not something you should ever put up with. If you do, you risk getting lower self-esteem.
As Dactari Counselling notes, “In time, we start to doubt ourselves and our ability, as the continued criticism erodes our confidence and starts to impact our self-image.”
I remember a time when I was constantly belittled by a friend. Every time we hung out, he’d find a way to point out my flaws or make me feel inferior.
At first, I brushed it off as him just being honest. But over time, it chipped away at my self-esteem.
A relationship that thrives on constant criticism isn’t healthy or uplifting. If you’re in a similar situation, it may be time to seek out better quality people who build you up rather than tear you down.
3) You’re not evolving
Let me ask you: Are your friends pushing you to be better? Are they inspiring growth in you, or are they holding you back?
If your circle isn’t helping you to progress or evolve, it’s possible they’re dragging you down.
I once had a group of friends who were content with where they were in life. They weren’t interested in personal growth or trying new things.
In spending time with them, I realized I was also becoming stagnant.
Your tribe should motivate and encourage your personal growth. Otherwise, you’ll get stuck in the same place, definitely far from the best version of yourself.
4) You’re not valued for who you are
According to psychologists, being accepted for who you are can lead to improved mental health. Naturally, this applies to the people you surround yourself with.
If you’re constantly feeling the need to change who you are or hide certain aspects of yourself in order to fit in, it might be a sign that you’re not in the right company.
Your friends should value and appreciate you for who you are, not who they want you to be. They should celebrate your individuality and uniqueness, not suppress it.
If this isn’t happening, it’s an indication that it’s time to start surrounding yourself with people who truly value and accept you.
5) You’re not being supported
Just as you need to be valued for who you are, you also need to be supported in what you do.
I’ve had friends who couldn’t care less about what I was doing in life, and it felt like I was fighting my battles alone.
Support from friends isn’t just about getting a pat on the back.
It’s about having someone who believes in you, encourages your dreams and ambitions, and stands beside you through the ups and downs.
If you’re finding that your friends are dismissive of your goals or indifferent to your achievements, it’s a clear sign that something is amiss.
You deserve to have people around you who genuinely care about your interests and aspirations. Without that, you’re settling for less than you deserve.
6) You’re not being listened to
Listening is a key component in any relationship. It signifies respect, care, and understanding.
If you find yourself in conversations where you’re not being heard, or where your opinion is always sidelined, it’s a clear indication of a one-sided relationship.
I know how frustrating it is when you’re trying to express yourself, but it feels like your words are bouncing off a wall.
When you’re constantly talked over or ignored, it can make you feel invisible, like your perspective doesn’t matter.
Over time, that can really erode your sense of self-worth in the relationship, leaving you questioning whether you’re valued at all.
Your voice matters and your opinions are valid.
If you’re surrounded by people who don’t value your input or give you the space to express yourself, it’s time to reconsider these relationships and seek out better quality people.
7) You’re not feeling respected
Do the people around you:
- Constantly belittle you?
- Disregard your boundaries?
- Show zero recognition for your worth?
Respect is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If you’re not getting it from the people around you, that should tell you that you’re in the wrong place.
That you can definitely do better than these people you’ve surrounded yourself with.
I’ve found myself in situations where I kept excusing disrespectful behavior, thinking it wasn’t worth addressing. But over time, those small dismissals can really take a toll.
Respect should be mutual, and when it’s not, it’s a clear sign that the relationship isn’t as balanced as it should be.
The final thoughts
If these signs strike a chord with you, it’s time to reflect upon the quality of people you’re surrounded by.
But don’t worry – realizing these signs is the first step towards a positive change. It opens up a path to surround yourself with a better quality of people who truly value and respect you.
Start with self-awareness. Acknowledge the patterns where you’re feeling drained, criticized, unsupported or disrespected. Recognize when you’re not being valued, listened to or inspired.
Then, take action. Begin to distance yourself from relationships that are no longer serving you positively. Seek out people who uplift you, challenge you, and inspire growth in you.
Life is too short to spend in mediocre company. Surround yourself with the right kinds of people, and you’ll immediately notice the difference.
