Growing up, we’re often told that family and friends are forever. But sometimes, people choose to disown their loved ones as they get older.
This is a harsh reality and it does not happen without reason.
People who make this choice are usually marked by certain specific traits. These traits are not always negative – they could simply reflect a person’s need for self-care or personal growth.
In this article, we will delve into the seven specific traits that people who disown friends or family as they get older usually display. It might be a tough read, but understanding these traits can help us navigate tricky relationships in our own lives.
1) Strong sense of independence
Growing older often brings about a strong desire for independence. This is especially true for those who choose to disown family or friends.
These individuals have a deep-rooted belief in their own autonomy. They value their freedom and have a strong desire to make their own decisions, without being influenced by others.
This doesn’t mean they don’t care for others. Rather, they believe in the importance of individual choice and personal space.
It’s not about being selfish – it’s about prioritizing personal growth, even if it means parting ways with loved ones.
Understanding this trait can shed light on why some people choose to distance themselves from family or friends as they age. While it might be hard to grasp, it’s important to remember that everyone has their own journey and it’s okay to prioritize personal needs over societal expectations.
2) Preference for peace
I’ve always been someone who values tranquility over drama. As I’ve grown older, this trait has only intensified.
I remember a time when a close friend of mine was constantly embroiled in some sort of conflict. There was always a crisis, always an issue that needed immediate attention. It was draining, to say the least.
One day, after another exhausting conversation filled with complaints and accusatory remarks, I decided I had enough. I realized my peace of mind was more important than maintaining a friendship that brought me more stress than joy.
This need for peace is a common trait among those who choose to disown friends or family as they age. They desire a life free from drama and conflicts and are willing to make tough decisions to achieve that peace.
This doesn’t mean they don’t value relationships, but they place a higher value on their own mental and emotional wellbeing.
3) Intolerance for inauthenticity
In our digital age, it’s easy to portray a life that’s picture perfect. But as we grow older, the appeal of a curated persona fades and the desire for authenticity takes its place.
Those who disown friends or family as they get older often have a low tolerance for pretense. They value genuineness and honesty in their relationships. Anything less can lead to dissatisfaction and eventual distancing.
A study published in the Review of Social Development found that authenticity in friendships is linked to better mental health.
This might explain why some people choose to let go of relationships that feel fake or superficial as they age. Their pursuit of authenticity and mental wellbeing becomes more important than maintaining relationships that lack sincerity.
4) Higher emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as those of others. It involves empathy, self-awareness, and effective communication.
People who choose to disown friends or family as they get older often display a higher level of emotional intelligence. They are aware of their emotional needs and are not afraid to set boundaries to protect their mental health.
These individuals recognize that maintaining certain relationships can be emotionally draining. They understand the impact of toxic relationships on their wellbeing and aren’t afraid to cut ties when necessary.
This trait may seem harsh, but it’s a reflection of their ability to prioritize their emotional health over societal expectations. It’s a tough choice, but one they’re willing to make for the sake of their wellbeing.
5) Fear of repeating past mistakes
Growing up, I watched my parents struggle to maintain relationships with family members who constantly took advantage of their generosity. It was a cycle of disappointment and frustration that seemed to never end.
As I got older, I realized this was not a pattern I wanted to repeat. I became cautious of the relationships I fostered, ensuring that they were balanced and reciprocal.
Those who disown friends or family as they age often have similar experiences. They’ve witnessed or been a part of toxic relationships in the past and are determined not to repeat these patterns.
This fear of repeating past mistakes can lead them to disengage from relationships that show signs of toxicity. It’s not an easy decision to make, but it’s one they deem necessary to avoid falling into old patterns.
6) Prioritizing self-care
Self-care is more than just bubble baths and spa days. It’s about setting boundaries, knowing when to say no, and prioritizing your mental health.
Those who disown friends or family as they age often place a high importance on self-care. They understand the need for emotional well-being and are willing to make tough decisions to protect it.
They believe that maintaining their mental health often requires distancing themselves from people or situations that cause stress or discomfort. This might mean parting ways with friends or family members who negatively impact their emotional health.
In essence, their commitment to self-care drives them to make choices that prioritize their own well-being, even if it means letting go of certain relationships.
7) Respect for personal growth
The most important trait to understand about people who disown friends or family as they age is their deep respect for personal growth.
These individuals firmly believe that growth often involves making difficult decisions. They understand that to evolve as individuals, they might need to let go of relationships that hinder their progress.
Personal growth becomes their north star, guiding their decisions and relationships. This dedication to self-improvement often leads them to disown relationships that no longer serve their journey towards becoming a better version of themselves.
Final thoughts: It’s about self-preservation
At the heart of human behavior lies the innate instinct for self-preservation. This instinct isn’t just about physical survival, it extends to our emotional and mental well-being too.
The decision to disown friends or family as one ages can be a manifestation of this very instinct. It’s usually not an impulsive act, but a result of careful introspection and evaluation of what is best for one’s self-growth and mental health.
A quote by American author Steve Maraboli comes to mind: “Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.”
While it’s a tough decision to make and even harder to understand from an outsider’s perspective, it’s important to remember that every individual has their own journey. Their choices, no matter how unconventional, are a part of their quest for self-preservation and personal contentment.
