I’ve always believed that our bodies often speak louder than our words.
It’s something I’ve seen countless times in my counseling practice, whether I’m working with couples trying to reconnect or professionals hoping to leave a better impression at work.
You can say the most brilliant thing, but if your posture and gestures don’t match your message, it’s easy for people to doubt your sincerity or expertise.
We all know someone who seems to command a room just by walking into it. While that might seem like an elusive quality reserved for a lucky few, the truth is that we can all tap into that aura of confidence.
It often starts with changing simple yet powerful aspects of our nonverbal communication.
Below, I’ll share seven body language strategies that can help you come across as more engaging and self-assured.
You don’t have to be on a stage or in a conference room to put these into practice—these habits can reshape how you present yourself in everyday life, from family dinners to a first date or a crucial job interview.
1. Master a grounded stance
One of the first things people notice is how you hold yourself.
Standing with your feet about hip-width apart, knees slightly bent, and weight evenly distributed can send a subtle but important message: you’re calm and in control.
There’s a reason why so many actors and public speakers pay attention to this.
It’s not just about looking taller or slimmer; it’s about signaling composure.
I used to see clients who would rock back and forth or cross one leg in front of the other during stressful conversations.
Their body language screamed uncertainty, even if their words were confident.
Once they started focusing on a stable, balanced posture, it was amazing how their overall presence shifted. Their voices got steadier, and people were more inclined to lean in and listen.
2. Keep your chin level
Many of us habitually look down when we walk or talk, often because we’re either deep in thought or not fully comfortable in a given setting.
While glancing downward from time to time isn’t a big deal, it can chip away at how self-assured you appear.
If you keep your chin level—parallel to the floor—you’ll open up your face and neck area, inviting more eye contact.
It’s a small tweak, but it can instantly help you seem more poised and alert.
You’re telling the world (and yourself) that you’re ready to engage rather than shy away.
3. Show purposeful gestures
Have you ever noticed how some people talk with their hands, but it comes off more frantic than impactful?
It’s all in the pacing and intentionality.
Studies show that the gestures we make reflect our own inner state. And they also have the power to change that state if we let them.
When gestures are too rapid or random, it can seem like your thoughts are all over the place.
On the flip side, deliberate hand movements can emphasize your words and help you convey your message more clearly.
One approach I recommend is to imagine you’re illustrating your points with your hands.
For instance, when enumerating a list, briefly raise one finger, then two fingers, and so on. Or when expressing an idea of growth or expansion, gently move your hands outward.
Purposeful gestures can improve listeners’ comprehension and make you more memorable.
4. Maintain balanced eye contact
According to the team at Calm.com, “When you maintain eye contact with colleagues, clients, or managers, it can help them see you’re honest, transparent, and reliable.”
However, eye contact can be tricky. Too little, and you appear disengaged or nervous. Too much, and people might feel uneasy, like you’re staring them down.
Balancing eye contact means meeting someone’s gaze for a few seconds, then briefly looking away before returning.
I’ve worked with clients who were unsure of how to do this naturally.
I often suggest focusing on one eye of the other person for a moment, then switching to the other eye or the space right between the eyes.
Moderating your gaze helps you come across as engaged and respectful, rather than shy or invasive.
5. Uncross those arms
It’s tempting to cross your arms when you’re feeling protective or chilly.
But in most social or professional scenarios, this posture can come off as defensive or distant. ‘
If crossing your arms is a habit, you might feel awkward standing or sitting with them at your sides.
Try clasping your hands loosely in front of you, or resting them on your lap if you’re seated.
This invites people to feel more comfortable approaching you and sharing their thoughts.
6. Use the power of the pause
Some of the most charismatic and authoritative figures I’ve seen—whether in a courtroom, classroom, or boardroom—are those who aren’t afraid of a little silence.
Speaking quickly and filling every second with noise can make you seem anxious, while carefully pacing your words suggests confidence.
So don’t be afraid of pausing for a brief second or two before answering a question. It actually shows that you’re composed and thoughtful.
You appear more measured, and people tend to interpret that as both intelligence and steadiness.
If you feel your heart racing, a short breath before you speak can calm your nerves and allow you to project a calmer, clearer voice.
7. Mirror, but don’t mimic
I’ve saved a big one until last, friends.
Mirroring someone’s posture, tone, or gestures can create a sense of connection and rapport.
Be careful, though–there’s a fine line between natural mirroring and awkward copying.
For instance, if someone leans forward slightly, mirroring that lean can help you bond, as it suggests you’re in tune with their body language.
However, do this subtly and only when it feels authentic.
If your conversation partner uncrosses their legs, don’t immediately follow suit in a mechanical way. It’s more of an organic dance than a strict imitation.
Like the people at Psychology Today said, mirroring done well can build trust, but if overdone, it becomes distracting and might even come across as mockery.
Pay attention to the overall vibe—if the other person is relaxed, mirror that by softening your own posture.
Final thoughts
Body language is a universal way of communicating who you are and what you stand for.
Each of these hacks—whether it’s something as simple as uncrossing your arms or maintaining a steady stance—can shift how you feel on the inside and how others perceive you on the outside.
There’s no need to try everything at once. Pick one or two strategies that resonate with you and practice them until they feel natural.
Over time, you’ll likely notice that you exude a more compelling presence, and people respond to you with greater trust and respect.
Signing off.
