7 phrases to use when your partner needs reassurance and validation, according to a relationship expert

Navigating the world of emotions and communication in a relationship is no easy feat. You often find yourself trying to reassure your partner, validate their feelings and make them feel loved.

But finding the right words can be a challenge.

That’s where I come in. As a relationship expert, I’ve spent years studying the best ways to communicate effectively in relationships. It’s not about just saying the right things, but also about how you say them.

In this article, we’ll explore seven powerful phrases you can use when your partner needs reassurance and validation. These are not just random phrases; they are carefully chosen statements that have been proven to work in many different scenarios.

1) “I hear you”

In the realm of relationships, nothing quite matches the power of validation. When your partner is feeling insecure or uncertain, your ability to validate their feelings can make all the difference.

One of the key phrases to use in such a situation is “I hear you”. It’s simple, yet incredibly effective.

This phrase signifies your willingness to listen and understand their side of the story. It tells your partner that you’re not just physically present, but also mentally and emotionally invested in what they’re going through.

“I hear you” puts their concerns at the forefront, making them feel seen and heard. This can provide a sense of relief and comfort, even in the midst of difficult circumstances.

But remember, saying “I hear you” is just the first step. You have to follow it up by actually listening, understanding, and responding appropriately to their concerns. Because as important as it is to say the right things, actions always speak louder than words.

2) “You’re not wrong”

At first glance, this phrase might seem a bit counterintuitive. After all, aren’t we supposed to reassure our partners by telling them they’re right?

Well, not necessarily.

The phrase “You’re not wrong” can often be more effective in providing reassurance and validation. It’s a subtle shift in language that does two things.

First, it validates their feelings or perspective without necessarily agreeing with them. This is particularly useful when you may have a differing opinion, but you still want to acknowledge their feelings.

Second, it avoids turning the conversation into a debate about who’s right and who’s wrong. It moves the focus away from winning an argument and towards understanding each other’s viewpoints.

So the next time you find yourself in a tricky situation with your partner, try slipping in a “You’re not wrong”. You might be surprised at how well it works.

3) “I value your perspective”

We all view the world through our own unique lenses, and our partners are no exception. When they share their feelings or opinions with us, it’s an invitation into their world.

A phrase I often recommend is “I value your perspective”. It’s a simple statement that goes a long way in making your partner feel validated and important.

By saying this, you’re not only acknowledging their thoughts and feelings, but also showing respect for their individuality. It’s a subtle reminder that you see them as an equal partner, not just someone to agree or disagree with.

In my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into how such affirming phrases can transform the dynamics of a relationship.

Keep in mind, it’s not just about saying the phrase. It’s about genuinely valuing their perspective, even if you don’t always agree.

It’s about creating a safe space where both of you can share your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or rejection.

4) “Let’s figure this out together”

When your partner is feeling low or facing a problem, it’s natural to want to jump in and solve it for them. But sometimes, what they really need is not a solution, but a companion in their struggle.

One phrase that encapsulates this idea is “Let’s figure this out together”. Instead of taking over, you’re offering your support and partnership.

This phrase sends a powerful message – you’re not alone, and we’re a team.

In the wise words of Helen Keller, “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” This phrase aligns perfectly with that sentiment. It’s about showing your partner that no matter what happens, you’re there to face it with them.

In my own life, I’ve found this phrase to be a game changer. It’s brought me closer to my partner and made us stronger as a team.

There’s something truly comforting about facing life’s hurdles hand in hand with your partner, knowing that you’re not alone.

5) “I appreciate you”

In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to take our partners for granted. We often forget to express our appreciation for the little things they do.

That’s why “I appreciate you” is such a powerful phrase. It’s a simple yet heartfelt expression of your gratitude and love.

This phrase doesn’t just validate their actions; it validates their worth to you. It shows your partner that you see their efforts and that they matter to you.

I’ve personally made it a habit to express my appreciation for my partner in both big and small ways. It could be for something as simple as cooking a meal or as significant as supporting me through a tough time.

Trust me, these three words can work wonders in making your partner feel reassured and valued. It’s a gentle reminder of your love and gratitude, and sometimes, that’s all they need to hear.

6) “You’re capable”

In moments of doubt or insecurity, your partner may need a boost of confidence. And sometimes, the best way to provide that is through a simple phrase: “You’re capable”.

This phrase is a powerful validation of their abilities and strengths. It shows your belief in them, which can be incredibly reassuring.

From personal experience, I can tell you this phrase has a profound impact. I’ve seen it uplift my partner’s spirits and inspire them to tackle challenges head-on.

And if you’re enjoying these insights and want more relationship advice on your feed, feel free to follow me on Facebook. I regularly share my latest articles and tips there.

7) “I made a mistake”

Now, this one might not be easy to say, but it’s incredibly important. Admitting when you’re wrong is a critical part of any healthy relationship.

The phrase “I made a mistake” is raw, honest, and vulnerable. It’s an admission that you’re not perfect and that you’re willing to own up to your errors.

This kind of honesty can be both validating and reassuring for your partner. It shows them that you value the relationship more than your ego.

Moreover, it sets the stage for open communication and problem solving. It paves the way for discussions about what went wrong and how to avoid such mistakes in the future.

Remember, nobody’s perfect. We all make mistakes. What matters is how we handle them – and admitting our faults is the first step towards resolution and growth.

Final thoughts

Navigating the complex world of relationships is a delicate art.

It requires understanding, patience, and, above all, effective communication. The seven phrases we’ve explored in this article are designed to help you provide the validation and reassurance your partner needs.

Remember, every relationship is unique. These phrases are not a one-size-fits-all solution, but rather a toolbox you can draw from to enhance your communication skills.

As we know, actions often speak louder than words. So, while it’s important to say the right things, it’s equally crucial to show your partner through your actions that you’re there for them.

To further explore some of the ideas we’ve discussed in this article, I recommend watching this insightful video by Justin Brown. He delves into the complexities of finding a life partner based on his personal experience and shares invaluable insights that will certainly resonate with our discussion.

Life and love are journeys of constant learning and growth. Let’s continue that journey together, one step at a time.

Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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