Today, I spoke to Libby Gill, who spent spent fifteen years as an entertainment industry veteran, heading public relations and corporate communications at Universal Studios, Sony Pictures Entertainment and Turner Broadcasting. She was also the branding brain behind the launch of the Dr. Phil Show and the author of You Unstuck. In this interview, Libby explains the psychology of getting stuck in a rut, strategies to get unstuck, and more.
Why does everyone get in a rut? Does it happen more at a certain age?
Everyone gets stuck in a rut at one time or another. Though the depth or type of rut may vary with age or stage of life, many of us experience ruts related to career, fitness, money and relationships. We fall into these ruts because of the limiting assumptions we come to believe about ourselves. These are unfounded conclusions, which we allow to dictate our actions, even when there is no objective data to support them.
These assumptions often come in the guise of excuses such as “I’ll start dating when I lose 20 pounds,” “I’m just no good with money, “It’s too risky to change jobs right now,” or the perennial favorite, “I don’t have enough time to (you fill in the blank).”
From your book research, what are a few of the most enlightening data points?
One of the most interesting things I learned in my research was the way in which our brains process fear. Obviously, fear is a necessary biological instinct that helps safeguard our survival. But since we now live in an era dominated more by data and information than physical danger, the fear reactions prompted by our primitive brain are often inappropriate for situations such as making a sales call, giving a presentation or asking someone on a date. Yet, we often allow the embarrassing involuntary physiological responses – from sweaty palms to shaking knees – to hold us back from taking risks that could move our lives in a more positive direction.
Further, since our brains consolidate fear memories over time, when we think about a past event that caused us fear or anxiety, we’re calling up not just the precipitating event itself but all the memories that event. In other words, we’re remembering the memory of the memory of the memory. So with each thought, we’re breathe new life into old fears until they loom so large that we’re too frightened to go on an interview or a cocktail date.
Name three strategies you would recommend to someone looking to get unstuck.
As an executive coach, I’ve worked with people to increase bold risk-taking and positive change through a 3-step process I call “Clarify, Simplify & Execute.” First, clarify your vision of success in your personal and professional life. Second, simplify the most direct route to realizing that vision including letting go of limiting assumptions and excuse-making. Third, execute an aggressive action plan against measurable milestones. And always add factors for accountability whether that means hiring a coach, joining My Accountability Club or having a family member keep you on track.
If someone is having relationship issues and job issues at the same time, what would you recommend?
Again, look at your limiting assumptions and listen to your own language. Maybe it’s your own belief that you don’t deserve a “good” job or relationship that’s holding you hostage. See if you can zero in on your own assumptions, then challenge them. Pick a place to start that is the easiest for you to tackle first.
In You Unstuck, I describe what I call the “Escalating Risk Hierarchy,” where you chunk down your goal into tiny incremental steps, that is, pieces so small you wouldn’t even think of them as goals. For example, if you want to start a job search but the process has you terrified, start small by listing all the components of your search from reviewing your resume to asking friends for feedback to doing some research online. When you list the steps in order of comfortable to anxiety-inducing, then start taking action on the comfortable steps first, you build confidence and competence. As you work your way up the hierarchy and experience success, you’ll be surprised how quickly you’ll begin taking bold risks.
You helped launch the Dr. Phil show. How did you go about building that brand?
I was recruited to help Dr. Phil create a media and brand presence while he was still on Oprah. It was a real honor to help introduce his unique style to the press and the public. The key to creating Dr. Phil’s brand – and this is the same for anyone – was to identify his authentic value, what he alone could do in a way no one else could do it.
Determine what you bring to an organization, customer or client. When you can define and articulate your unique value in a way that resonates with your core audience, you’re on your way to having a powerful brand.
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Libby Gill spent spent fifteen years as an entertainment industry veteran, heading public relations and corporate communications at Universal Studios, Sony Pictures Entertainment and Turner Broadcasting. She was also the branding brain behind the launch of the Dr. Phil Show. Libby is now an internationally respected executive coach, speaker and bestselling author. She has shared her success strategies on the Today Show, The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, CNN, NPR, Oprah & Friends Radio Network, Fox News, CBS Early Show, and in Time Magazine, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, O Magazine, Good Housekeeping, Self and many more. Libby’s clients have included Microsoft, Pfizer, USAA, Lycos, Sprint, Capital One, Lockheed Martin, Deloitte & Touche, and Hewlett-Packard. Her latest book is called “You Unstuck.”
