Navigating social situations can be a minefield for some of us. We may think we’re doing a good job, but sometimes our behaviors can be off-putting to others without us even realizing it.
The trouble is, those with poor social skills often don’t recognize these behaviors themselves, making it hard for them to improve.
But don’t worry, I’m here to help. I’ve noticed there are seven particular behaviors that people with poor social skills frequently display. And I’m going to share them with you, not to criticize but to help you identify and rectify if you happen to exhibit any.
So let’s dive in and explore these 7 behaviors that could be causing you social discomfort without even knowing it.
1) Dominating the conversation
Everyone enjoys a good chat, right? But there’s a big difference between being an engaging conversationalist and dominating the discussion.
People with poor social skills often don’t realize that they’re monopolizing the conversation. They may think they’re being engaging or showing their expertise, but it actually comes off as self-centered or dismissive of others’ ideas.
Conversations are a two-way street, it’s important to give and take. Listening is just as important as talking. It shows respect and interest in what others have to say.
So, if you find yourself doing all the talking, it might be time to hit the pause button and let someone else have a turn. You’ll be surprised at what you can learn when you stop to listen.
2) Lack of eye contact
Now, this is an area where I myself used to struggle. I hesitated to maintain eye contact, fearing it might be perceived as intimidating or rude.
However, I soon realized that avoiding eye contact can signal disinterest or lack of confidence. It can make people feel like you’re not fully engaged in the conversation, or worse, that you’re hiding something.
I remember a time when I was in a meeting with my boss. She was explaining a new project to me and I was so nervous that I kept looking down at my notes instead of at her. After the meeting, she pulled me aside and asked if I was okay because I seemed distracted.
That’s when it hit me – my lack of eye contact had given her the wrong impression!
Ever since then, I’ve made a conscious effort to maintain appropriate eye contact during conversations. It’s not about staring someone down; it’s about showing that you’re present and actively listening.
Sometimes, it’s the small things like these that can make a big difference in how others perceive us.
3) Interrupting others
Interrupting others during a conversation is a common mistake that people with poor social skills tend to make. Sometimes, it’s due to excitement or wanting to share a thought before it slips away. However, constant interruptions can be off-putting.
When you interrupt someone, it sends the message that what you have to say is more important than what they’re saying. It’s like cutting someone off in traffic—disruptive and disrespectful.
Believe it or not, research shows that people who frequently interrupt others are often perceived as more dominant but less likable. So while it might seem like you’re taking control of the conversation, you’re actually damaging your relationship with the other person.
The next time you feel the urge to interrupt, take a moment. Let the other person finish their thought. You might find that what they have to say is just as valuable as your input.
4) Not recognizing personal space
We all have an invisible bubble around us, often referred to as our “personal space”. This space serves as a buffer that helps us feel comfortable and secure during interactions.
People with poor social skills often struggle to recognize and respect this personal space. They might stand too close or touch others inappropriately during a conversation, making the other person uncomfortable.
While the amount of personal space someone needs can vary based on cultural norms and personal preferences, a good rule of thumb is to keep at least an arm’s length distance during conversations.
So next time you’re in a conversation, be mindful of the other person’s comfort zone. Respecting their personal space can go a long way in making them feel at ease and open to engaging with you.
5) Forgetting to use people’s names
I have to admit, I have a terrible time remembering names. It’s something I’ve struggled with for years. I meet someone new, they tell me their name, and within five minutes, it’s gone.
What I didn’t realize for a long time was how off-putting this can be. Using someone’s name when you’re talking to them is a simple way to show that you value them and are paying attention.
When you forget or, worse, misuse someone’s name, it can come across as careless or disrespectful. It suggests that you’re not invested in the conversation or the relationship.
So, I’ve started using little tricks to remember names. Repeating it back when I first hear it, associating it with something familiar, or even jotting it down discreetly if it’s appropriate.
It’s small changes like these that can make a big difference in how others perceive you. So if you, like me, struggle with names, why not give these techniques a try?
6) Neglecting non-verbal cues
Communication is not just about what we say; it’s also about how we say it. Non-verbal cues like body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice play a crucial role in how our messages are perceived.
Those with poor social skills often overlook these non-verbal signals. They might display closed body language, like crossing their arms or avoiding eye contact, which can come off as aloof or uninterested. Or they might use a tone of voice that doesn’t match the message they’re conveying, leading to confusion or misunderstanding.
Being aware of your non-verbal cues and learning to interpret those of others can greatly improve your social interactions. It’s about aligning what you say with how you say it, creating a more effective and empathetic communication style.
Remember, sometimes it’s not just the words you speak but how you present them that matters.
7) Failing to show empathy
At the heart of all social interactions is empathy. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Without it, we’re like ships passing in the night, unable to connect on a deeper level.
Those with poor social skills often struggle with showing empathy. They might miss cues that someone is upset or ignore signs that someone needs support. This can leave others feeling unheard or unimportant.
Showing empathy doesn’t mean you have to solve everyone’s problems. It can be as simple as saying, “I can see why you would feel that way,” or “That sounds really tough.”
By acknowledging others’ feelings, we build stronger, more meaningful connections. And isn’t that what being social is all about?
