We all carry a hint of self-centeredness within us. It’s human nature. However, there are some folks who tip the scales and make being self-centered their second nature.
Often, they’re not even aware of their self-focused tendencies. But these behaviors can be quite telling.
People who are naturally self-centered unknowingly exhibit certain behaviors that give them away. And guess what? I’ve identified 10 of these common traits.
Let’s get started.
1) They often dominate conversations
Have you ever been in a chat where you felt like a spectator? Well, welcome to the world of self-centered individuals.
Naturally self-centered people have a knack for turning conversations into monologues about themselves. It’s not necessarily a conscious decision on their part, but more of a blind spot.
They tend to focus on their interests, achievements or experiences, often disregarding others’ perspectives or feelings. It’s not that they don’t care about others, they just struggle to shift their attention away from themselves.
This behavior is a classic sign of self-centeredness. But remember, like all behaviors on this list, it’s not foolproof – some people might just be overly enthusiastic or have a lot to share. However, when coupled with other self-centered behaviors, it can serve as a telling sign.
2) They find it hard to celebrate others’ victories
I remember a friend of mine who was naturally self-centered, although he didn’t realize it. Let’s call him John.
John and I were in the same field, and there were times when we would be up for the same opportunities. When I succeeded, John would often downplay my achievements or quickly shift the conversation back to his own successes.
It wasn’t that John was mean-spirited or unsupportive. He genuinely struggled to share in my joy or anyone else’s for that matter. It was as if there was only room for his accomplishments in the spotlight.
This behavior is another common trait among those who are naturally self-centered. They find it difficult to celebrate others’ successes without drawing attention back to themselves. It’s a subtle way their self-centeredness can manifest, often without them even realizing it.
3) They struggle with empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a crucial element in building strong, healthy relationships. Yet, for those who are naturally self-centered, empathy can be a challenging concept.
Self-centered individuals often struggle to put themselves in other people’s shoes. They tend to view situations from their perspective, which can make understanding others’ feelings and experiences difficult.
This lack of empathy doesn’t necessarily mean they’re uncaring or cold-hearted. It’s just that their focus is predominantly on their own experiences and feelings, which can overshadow their ability to connect with what others are going through.
If you notice someone consistently failing to empathize or show understanding towards others’ situations, they could be displaying a sign of natural self-centeredness.
4) They demand constant attention
Self-centered individuals often crave the spotlight. They want to be noticed, heard, and seen, and they thrive on being the center of attention.
Whether it’s at work, in social gatherings, or even on social media, they often make sure their presence is felt. They might share extravagant stories, constantly update their status or make grand gestures, all in an attempt to keep the attention on them.
It’s not always about boasting or showing off. Sometimes, it’s simply a deep-seated need for validation or affirmation from others. However, this constant demand for attention can be exhausting for those around them and is usually a clear sign of self-centered behavior.
5) They rarely admit they’re wrong
Admitting when we’re wrong is a humbling experience. It shows a willingness to learn and grow from our mistakes. However, naturally self-centered individuals often struggle with this.
For them, being wrong is a direct hit to their self-image. So, they’ll go to great lengths to defend their point of view, even if evidence suggests otherwise. It’s not about finding the truth or learning from errors, but maintaining their sense of superiority.
This doesn’t mean they’re bad people. Their need to always be right is just another manifestation of their self-centeredness. If you notice someone frequently avoiding blame or refusing to admit mistakes, it could be a sign of underlying self-centered behavior.
6) They often overlook the needs of others
Have you ever felt overlooked in a relationship? Like your needs were being consistently ignored or undervalued? It’s a heartbreaking feeling, and often, it’s a sign you’re dealing with a self-centered individual.
People who are naturally self-centered often prioritize their own needs and desires above others. Not out of malice, but simply because their focus is predominantly on themselves. They might make plans without considering your schedule or consistently choose activities that only they enjoy.
We all have moments of self-centeredness. But when someone consistently overlooks the needs of others, it might be an indication of a deeper, self-centered nature. So, if you’re feeling overlooked or undervalued, it’s important to communicate your feelings and set boundaries.
7) They can be defensive when criticized
A few years ago, I was in a relationship with someone who would become extremely defensive when I pointed out areas where we could improve. Instead of taking feedback constructively, they’d see it as an attack and respond with hostility or denial.
This defensiveness is another common trait among people who are naturally self-centered. They often take criticism personally, seeing it as a threat to their image rather than an opportunity for growth.
It’s important to remember that everyone can get defensive at times. But when defensiveness is a consistent response to feedback or criticism, it might indicate a self-centered nature. Being able to accept and learn from criticism is a key aspect of personal growth, something that self-centered individuals often struggle with.
8) They can be incredibly charming
You might think that self-centered people would be easy to spot, but that’s not always the case. Surprisingly, they can often be very likable and charismatic.
Their charm often serves as a magnet, drawing people towards them. They know how to make a great first impression, engage in interesting conversations, and even make you feel special.
However, this charm often serves their need for attention and validation. Over time, you may notice that their charisma is more about them than it is about genuinely connecting with others.
If you find someone’s charm is mainly focused on enhancing their image or seeking attention, it might be a subtle sign of self-centered behavior.
9) They struggle with genuine compliments
Giving compliments is a beautiful way to express appreciation and admiration. But for those who are naturally self-centered, giving genuine compliments can be a challenge.
It’s not that they’re incapable of recognizing others’ achievements or qualities. Rather, it’s their own need for affirmation and validation that often overshadows their ability to appreciate others.
They either refrain from giving compliments or when they do, the praises often feel insincere or forced. This behavior might come off as jealousy or competitiveness, but it’s often just another manifestation of their self-centered nature.
The inability to give genuine compliments doesn’t make someone a bad person. But if you notice this trait consistently, it could be an indication of underlying self-centered behavior.
10) They lack self-awareness
The most telling sign of a naturally self-centered person is probably their lack of self-awareness. They often don’t realize how their actions or words affect those around them.
They’re not necessarily trying to hurt others or be selfish; they’re simply unaware of their self-centered tendencies. This lack of awareness makes it challenging for them to recognize and change their behavior.
Self-awareness is a vital part of personal growth. Without it, self-centered individuals remain stuck in their ways, often causing strain in their relationships and hindering their personal development.
If you recognize any of these behaviors in someone you know, remember that change is possible. But it begins with awareness. And sometimes, that awareness needs to come from a compassionate, external source.
