Have you ever found yourself strategically steering clear of certain discussions?
Those uncomfortable but vital conversations that you know you should have, yet you always seem to avoid?
Most of us are guilty of this behavior, and it’s not always because we’re intentionally trying to be evasive.
More often than not, we might just be unaware of our own habits that cause us to shy away from these important but tough talks.
So if you’re sitting there thinking, “Am I one of those people?” keep reading. I’m about to share seven behaviors commonly displayed by those who actively dodge uncomfortable yet critical conversations.
Recognising these habits is the first step towards breaking them and fostering healthier communication patterns. Because let’s face it, as nerve-wracking as these discussions can be, they’re usually the ones worth having.
1) They’re masters of the subject change
Have you ever noticed how some people are so good at steering conversations in a different direction?
Here’s the thing.
This isn’t always just a display of their conversational prowess. More often than not, it’s a tactic used by those who want to avoid uncomfortable subjects.
They might do so subtly, interjecting with a seemingly related topic that slowly takes the conversation off course. Or, they may take a more direct approach, abruptly changing the subject entirely.
Recognizing this behavior in yourself can be an eye-opener. And while this revelation might be a bit uncomfortable, it’s actually a good thing. It’s your first step towards more open and honest conversations.
2) Procrastination is their best friend
Ever found yourself saying, “Let’s talk about it later” more often than you’d like to admit?
I’ll be honest.
I was once a serial procrastinator when it came to uncomfortable conversations. I’d always think, “Oh, I’ll just bring it up next time,” but that ‘next time’ seemed to never come.
I started noticing this pattern when a close friend pointed it out. She was frustrated because I kept delaying a conversation about an issue in our friendship.
And, you know what? She was right.
Procrastination might seem like an easy way out in the moment, but all it does is prolong the inevitable.
3) They’re always “too busy”
Time, as they say, is a precious commodity. But here’s the rub – it’s also a common scapegoat for those of us dodging difficult conversations.
You know the drill.
“Sorry, I’ve got back-to-back meetings today.” “Can we talk about this later? I’m swamped with work.” We fill our lives to the brim, using our overflowing schedules as an excuse to avoid those gnawing discussions.
Now I’m not saying we’re always lying about our busyness. We all have our hands full with work, family obligations, or any number of other commitments.
But if you find yourself constantly using time (or lack thereof) as a shield against uncomfortable conversations, it might be time to reassess.
After all, for the things that truly matter – like open communication and strong relationships – we should be able to make time, shouldn’t we?
4) They prefer digital communication
Ever noticed how some conversations are easier to have behind a screen?
Let me tell you something.
Texting, emailing or messaging can seem less intimidating than face-to-face interaction. There’s time to think, draft and redraft before hitting send. No awkward silences or immediate reactions to deal with.
But here’s the catch.
While digital communication has its place, it also creates a safety net for those wanting to avoid uncomfortable discussions. It’s easier to skirt around or misinterpret issues when you’re not sitting across from someone, looking them in the eye.
If you find yourself constantly opting for digital communication over real-life interactions, especially for important talks, it might be a sign you’re avoiding those uncomfortable conversations.
5) They often seem unapproachable
Ever encountered someone who always seems to be in their own world, almost as if they’re surrounded by an invisible barrier?
By keeping themselves busy, looking preoccupied, or creating a sense of distance, these individuals unknowingly build a wall around themselves.
This makes it harder for others to initiate any sort of meaningful discussion with them.
So if you’ve ever been told you seem distant or hard to reach, it might not just be your personality. It could be a subconscious behavior you’ve developed to sidestep those tricky convos.
6) They’re usually conflict-averse
Let’s be honest, nobody really likes conflict. It’s stressful, it’s messy, and it makes us feel uncomfortable.
But here’s what you need to remember.
It’s okay to feel this way. It’s completely natural to want to avoid conflict and maintain harmony. However, avoiding important conversations just to dodge potential disagreements can lead to larger issues down the line.
As tough as it might be, grappling with conflict head-on often leads to growth, understanding, and stronger relationships in the long run. So take a deep breath, muster up that courage and dive into those difficult discussions.
You might be surprised at the outcome.
7) They often struggle with expressing emotions
Expressing emotions openly is not everyone’s cup of tea. It’s an art that takes practice and patience, and it can be particularly challenging for those who habitually shy away from uncomfortable conversations.
If you find it hard to put your feelings into words or share your vulnerabilities, you’re not alone.
This struggle is often at the heart of why we avoid important discussions. But remember, acknowledging this difficulty is the first step towards change.
So take it slow, give yourself permission to feel, and start practicing the art of emotional expression. You’ll find that those uncomfortable conversations become a little less daunting when you’re able to share what’s truly on your mind.
The final takeaway
If you see yourself in these behaviors, remember, it’s not about blame. It’s about awareness.
You see, the first step towards change is recognizing and acknowledging our patterns. And if you’re here, reading this, you’ve already taken that step.
So congratulate yourself. It takes courage to face our own habits, especially those that make us uncomfortable.
Now, the road to better conversation may seem daunting. You might stumble, revert to old habits, or feel like progress is slow. But that’s okay. Change isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon.
And remember, it’s not just about having those tough conversations but how you have them. Be patient with yourself and others. Listen actively and speak honestly. Approach every interaction with empathy and understanding.
Over time, you’ll find that these once uncomfortable discussions become easier and more productive. They’ll help deepen your connections, improve your communication skills, and build stronger relationships.
So take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself what steps you can take today to start this journey towards better conversations. After all, every change starts with a single step.
