Choosing a life partner is no small decision.
It’s about picking the person who you’ll share your time, space, and, often, your entire life with. Needless to say, it’s crucial that their personality meshes well with your own.
However, there are certain personality traits that can add stress and conflict to any relationship. Traits that can turn a blissful marriage into a constant battleground.
In this article, we’ll delve into nine such traits that, if present in a man, could potentially make for a stressful marriage. As someone who’s been through the wringer a time or two, I’m here to help you avoid the same mistakes.
Let’s get started.
1) Emotional unavailability
At the heart of every successful relationship lies emotional availability.
Emotional availability refers to a person’s willingness to share their feelings, to be open and vulnerable. It’s the cornerstone of trust, intimacy, and deep connection.
However, when a man is emotionally unavailable, it can feel like you’re trying to break through a brick wall. Conversations become one-sided, your needs are often overlooked, and the relationship can feel incredibly lonely.
I’ve been there. It’s exhausting, frustrating and, importantly, stressful.
So if your potential life partner shows signs of emotional unavailability – like being closed off, avoiding deep conversations or not expressing his feelings – take note. It could be a sign of a stressful life to come.
Remember ladies, you deserve someone who’s willing to share their heart with you. Don’t settle for less.
2) Lack of respect
Respect is the foundation of any relationship. It’s the glue that holds together the bond between two people. Without it, a relationship can feel like a battleground, filled with constant arguments and disagreements.
Trust me, I’ve been there.
I once dated a man who had zero respect for my time. He’d cancel plans last minute, show up late for dates, and often leave me waiting for hours. At first, I dismissed it as him being “laid-back” or “spontaneous”. But over time, I realized that his actions were an outright disregard for my time and feelings.
It was stressful, to say the least. The uncertainty, the constant disappointment… it was like walking on eggshells.
Never underestimate the importance of respect in a relationship. If your man doesn’t respect your time, your space or your feelings, it may be a sign of a stressful life ahead.
3) Controlling behavior
Control is a powerful thing. It can make us feel safe, secure, and in charge. But in the hands of a romantic partner, it can turn a loving relationship into a suffocating one.
Controlling behavior can range from subtle manipulation to outright demands. It could be deciding where you go, who you see, or even what you wear.
In fact, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, one in three women have been victims of some form of physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime – and control is often a precursor to such abuse.
If you notice signs of controlling behavior in your partner, it’s time to reassess. Nobody has the right to dictate your life. A relationship should be about mutual respect and compromise, not control.
4) Lack of ambition
Ambition, or a lack thereof, can make a significant impact on your relationship.
When a man lacks ambition, it often means he lacks direction too. He might be content to coast through life without setting goals or striving for improvement. While there’s nothing wrong with being content, a lack of ambition can lead to stagnation.
You may find yourself constantly pushing him to strive for more, to have dreams and goals. This can be incredibly draining and stressful in the long run.
Look for a man who has ambitions and goals, someone who is continuously growing and learning. This is a sign of a partner who will keep your life exciting and stress-free.
5) Poor communication
Communication is the key to a successful relationship.
When communication breaks down, misunderstandings arise, trivial issues turn into major arguments, and resentment can build up. If your man is unable or unwilling to communicate effectively, it can lead to a lot of unnecessary stress.
This could mean he avoids difficult conversations, refuses to discuss his feelings, or simply doesn’t listen when you talk.
Watch out for signs of poor communication. Remember, you deserve a partner who values open and honest communication as much as you do. Anything less can lead to a stressful life.
6) Inability to apologize
Apologizing isn’t just about saying “I’m sorry.” It’s about acknowledging that you’ve hurt or upset someone, and showing that you genuinely regret your actions. It’s about humility, empathy, and respect.
Sadly, some men find it difficult to apologize. They may see it as a sign of weakness or a blow to their ego. But in reality, an inability to apologize can be incredibly damaging to a relationship.
When a man can’t say sorry, it can leave you feeling unheard and unimportant. It can build resentment and create a divide between you both.
Look for a man who isn’t afraid to say he’s sorry when he’s done something wrong. It’s a small gesture, but it speaks volumes about his character and your potential future together. A man who can apologize is a man who values your feelings over his pride – and that’s the kind of man who can help you lead a stress-free life.
7) Lack of kindness
Kindness is often overlooked in the grand scheme of things. But in reality, it’s one of the most important qualities to look for in a partner.
I once dated a man who was charming, handsome, and successful. But he lacked one crucial thing – kindness. He would belittle waitstaff, ignore homeless people on the street, and rarely showed empathy towards others.
Over time, his lack of kindness started to seep into our relationship. He became dismissive of my feelings and needs. It was a stressful and heartbreaking experience.
Always look for kindness in a man. It’s a trait that will shine through in every aspect of your life together, creating a nurturing and stress-free environment.
8) Constant negativity
Negativity can be a major drain on your energy and your relationship.
If a man is constantly negative, always seeing the worst in situations or people, it can create a dark cloud over your life together. It’s hard to build a happy, stress-free life with someone who’s always bringing you down.
Negativity can manifest in many forms – constant complaining, pessimism, criticism or even cynicism.
Keep an eye out for this trait. A positive outlook is not only attractive but also essential for a harmonious and stress-free life. Choose a man who lifts you up, not one who drags you down.
9) Untrustworthiness
Trust is the cornerstone of every relationship. Without it, everything else falls apart.
If a man can’t be trusted – whether that’s in his actions, his words, or his promises – it’s a major red flag. Living with constant doubt and suspicion is incredibly stressful.
You deserve a partner you can rely on, one who is honest and sincere. Trust isn’t just about fidelity; it’s about feeling secure in your relationship, knowing that your partner has your back, and believing in their words and actions.
