We’ve all heard that standing out at work often comes down to going the extra mile—arriving early, being proactive in meetings, and tackling tough projects head-on.
These things have their place, sure. But in my experience as a relationship expert and writer, it’s often the “tiny” everyday habits that can quietly undermine your credibility and potential.
If you’re looking to really shine in your professional life, you may want to say goodbye to these seven small but surprisingly significant behaviors.
Let’s dive in.
1. People-pleasing
Do you ever feel like you’re everyone’s go-to person at the office? Maybe you often agree to help with tasks you don’t have time for or say “yes” to coworker requests you’d rather decline.
On the surface, people-pleasing might seem harmless—even generous. But the problem is that when you’re always accommodating, you risk being seen as someone whose time and well-being can be overlooked. Over the long run, that can diminish your value in the eyes of colleagues and leaders.
More than that, it leaves you with less time to focus on high-impact projects—the ones that actually get you recognition and career growth.
As Brené Brown, a renowned researcher, wrote, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”
By setting clear limits and learning to say “no” when necessary, you protect your sanity and your professional reputation.
2. Over-apologizing
I once worked with a client who apologized so frequently at her job that “sorry” started every third sentence. She’d say it even when the copier jammed through no fault of her own or if a teammate missed a deadline.
This habit might appear polite or humble, but it can really undercut your authority.
Over-apologizing subtly implies you’re always at fault—even when you’re not.
The folks at George Fortune Counselling stand behind this idea, noting that excessive apologizing “can erode your self-confidence over time.”
A better approach? Replace those reflexive apologies with statements of gratitude. Instead of “Sorry for taking your time,” try “Thank you for your patience.”
Little tweaks like that can shift how others perceive you—and how you perceive yourself.
3. Negative self-talk
Have you ever found yourself shrugging off a promotion by saying, “I’m not actually that good—I was just lucky,” or stepping into a meeting thinking, “I’ll probably mess this up”?
That’s negative self-talk at work, and it can show up in your posture, tone, and overall demeanor.
When your inner commentary is constantly harsh, you risk turning a small challenge into a catastrophic mindset. Not only will you feel less confident, but people around you will pick up on your hesitation and self-doubt.
If you truly want to shine, treat yourself with the same level of compassion and encouragement you’d offer a trusted colleague.
4. Gossiping
“Gossip is a very dangerous tool. We should be more wary of the gossiper, and not the gossip they’re trying to relay to you,” poet John Lydon once said. And oh, is he right.
In a workplace setting, gossip might feel like a quick way to bond with teammates—until it backfires.
Research backs this up, too: a Money Penny survey found that “The Gossiper” ranks among the most irritating types of coworkers. Even if you’re just a casual participant, colleagues may start wondering what you say behind their backs. That lack of trust can overshadow any good work you do.
5. Allowing others to steal credit for your work
You put in the hours, came up with the ideas, and executed the project flawlessly—only for someone else to take the credit. Frustrating, right?
Well here’s the kicker: if you consistently let this slide, you’re unintentionally signaling that your contributions don’t need to be acknowledged.
Socially intelligent professionals find tactful ways to claim their work without seeming defensive. If a colleague tries to take credit, you might say, “I’m so glad you liked that idea! I spent a lot of time researching it.” Or, when presenting in meetings, use “I” and “we” statements strategically: “When I developed this strategy…” or “Our team, led by me, worked on…”
Confidence in your contributions doesn’t make you arrogant—it ensures that your hard work is recognized and rewarded. And in the long run, that’s what helps you stand out.
6. Seeking constant validation
It’s natural to look for feedback—especially on big projects or important decisions. But if you find yourself craving approval for every little thing, you risk appearing unsure of your skills and ideas.
Michelle Obama once noted, “Your success will be determined by your own confidence and fortitude.” In other words, believing in your capabilities is often the first step to other people believing in them too.
Of course, ask for input when you need a second set of eyes. But remember, you were hired for a reason—your insight and expertise are valuable in their own right.
If you wait around for a constant pat on the back, you might miss opportunities to show your true leadership potential.
7. Avoiding difficult conversations
Last but not least, whether it’s asking your supervisor for a well-deserved raise or talking to a colleague about boundary issues, dodging tough conversations can stall your career growth.
You might think you’re keeping the peace, but in reality, you’re signaling that you’re willing to settle for less—or that you’d rather tolerate a problem than address it.
Confrontation doesn’t have to be combative; it can be a respectful exchange that paves the way for improvements, insights, and progress.
Final thoughts
If you’re nodding along to one or more of these habits, don’t stress too much—I’ve been there, and so have plenty of other professionals. The good news is that every single one of these patterns can be changed with a bit of self-awareness and consistent effort.
Start small: say “no” to a request that stretches you too thin, or let a genuine “thank you” stand in place of an unnecessary “I’m sorry.” Over time, these shifts will help you stand out in the best possible way.
