I’ve always been fascinated by the science of love and relationships.
As Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog, I’ve spent years delving into the depths of psychology to understand what makes certain men stand out as excellent husbands.
The answer isn’t one-size-fits-all, but psychology offers some intriguing insights. It’s not just about good looks or a sense of humor. There are some specific traits that separate the average Joes from the truly extraordinary husbands.
In this article, I’ll share with you the 8 traits of men who make excellent husbands, according to psychology.
Because who doesn’t want a little scientific backing when it comes to love and marriage? This isn’t just my opinion, it’s based on years of psychological research.
So ladies, get ready to take some mental notes. You might just discover what you should be looking for in your perfect partner.
1) Emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence is no longer just a buzzword. It’s a key trait that psychologists agree plays a crucial role in successful relationships.
Men with high emotional intelligence have the ability to understand and manage their own emotions, as well as empathize with the emotions of others.
They can navigate difficult situations with grace, and they know how to communicate effectively, even in the heat of an argument.
In the context of a marriage, this means they’re able to provide emotional support, understand when their partner needs space, and are capable of talking through issues with understanding and respect.
So ladies, if you’re looking for an excellent husband, keep an eye out for those who display high emotional intelligence. They can navigate the ups and downs of a relationship with maturity and empathy.
Nno one is perfect. We all have room to grow and develop our emotional intelligence, so don’t rule someone out too quickly if they’re willing to learn and improve.
2) Respectful nature
Respect is one of those things that just can’t be compromised on. It’s the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and the absence of it is often a red flag.
Men who make excellent husbands have a deep-seated respect for their partners. They value their opinions, listen to their thoughts, and treat them as equals.
In my own marriage, I’ve found that it’s not about always agreeing with your partner, but acknowledging their perspectives and treating them with dignity.
As the great Aretha Franklin once said, “R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me”. This isn’t just a catchy lyric, but a fundamental truth in relationships.
Look for a man who respects you. Because at the end of the day, love might be the catalyst, but respect is the glue that holds a marriage together.
3) Independence
Independence might not be the first trait that comes to mind when thinking about excellent husbands, but believe me, it’s more important than you might think.
An independent man is one who can take care of himself, manage his responsibilities, and doesn’t rely on his partner for his happiness or self-worth. It’s about having a healthy balance between dependence and autonomy.
In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into the importance of maintaining individuality within a relationship.
Men who make excellent husbands understand that a relationship is composed of two individuals, each with their own dreams, goals, and lives. They value their partner’s independence just as much as their own.
So look for a man who respects your individuality, supports your personal growth, and encourages you to be your own person. That’s the sign of a man who’ll make an excellent husband.
4) Ability to apologize
This may sound counterintuitive, but hear me out. Men who make excellent husbands are those who are not afraid to apologize.
We all make mistakes, it’s part of being human. But the real strength lies in acknowledging those mistakes and saying, “I’m sorry”. It’s about taking responsibility for your actions, rather than pointing fingers or shifting blame.
Some might argue that apologizing shows weakness, but I believe the opposite is true. It takes a strong man to admit when he’s wrong and make amends.
In a marriage, disagreements are inevitable. But it’s how we handle these disagreements that determines the strength of the relationship.
Now ladies, look for a man who knows when to say sorry and means it. This trait speaks volumes about his character and his commitment to making the relationship work.
5) Patience
Patience is a virtue, and let me tell you, it’s one trait my husband has in abundance.
His ability to stay calm in the face of adversity, to wait without complaint, and to handle stress with grace is something I’ve always admired about him.
Men who make excellent husbands are those who exhibit patience. They understand that good things take time, and they’re willing to wait for them. They don’t rush decisions or pressure their partners into anything.
In a relationship, patience could mean waiting for the other person to be ready for the next step, or being understanding when things don’t go as planned.
Ladies, look for a man who demonstrates patience. Because in marriage, where life’s ups and downs are shared, having a patient partner can make all the difference.
6) Vulnerability
Vulnerability can be terrifying. It’s laying your heart on the line, risking rejection, and opening yourself up to potential hurt. But it’s also one of the most beautiful things a person can offer in a relationship.
Men who make excellent husbands don’t shy away from vulnerability.
They’re willing to share their fears, express their emotions, and let their guard down. They know that being vulnerable doesn’t make them weak; it makes them human.
In a world where men are often taught to suppress their emotions, a man who is comfortable with his vulnerability is a rare gem. It allows for deeper connections, more intimate conversations, and an overall stronger relationship.
So ladies, if you find a man who’s willing to share his innermost thoughts and fears with you, hold onto him.
His willingness to be vulnerable shows his strength, his trust in you, and his commitment to the relationship.
7) Positivity
Positivity is more than just having a ‘glass-half-full’ mentality. It’s about having resilience, maintaining a hopeful outlook on life, and being able to find joy even in the little things.
One of my favorite quotes is by the brilliant Albert Einstein, who said, “In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity”. Men who make excellent husbands embody this quote.
They’re the ones who can find a silver lining in any situation and inspire you to do the same.
In my own life, my husband’s positivity has been contagious. His ability to laugh off little mishaps, to find happiness in our day-to-day life, and to remain optimistic during tough times has often been the light at the end of a dark tunnel.
Keep an eye out for men who radiate positivity. They’ll not only brighten your days but also help you see the world through a more hopeful lens.
8) Commitment
This one might seem obvious, but it’s worth emphasizing. At the heart of every great husband is a deep-seated commitment to his partner and the relationship.
Commitment isn’t just about staying faithful. It’s about consistently choosing your partner, even on the hard days. It’s about standing by their side through thick and thin, in sickness and in health.
Men who make excellent husbands understand that love isn’t just a feeling, but a choice. They choose to love their partners every day, even when the butterflies have settled and reality has set in.
So ladies, look for a man who’s willing to commit, not just when it’s easy or convenient, but for the long haul.
His willingness to stick around during the hard times is a testament to his strength, his love for you, and his dedication to the relationship.
Conclusion
There you have it, ladies. Eight traits that psychology suggests make men excellent husbands.
The key is finding someone who’s willing to grow with you.
If you’re interested in learning more about maintaining your individuality in a relationship, I invite you to check out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.
It’s a deep dive into the importance of maintaining a healthy balance of dependence and independence in a relationship.
Remember, true love isn’t just about finding the right person, but also about being the right person. So look for these traits in your partner, but also strive to cultivate them within yourself.
