As we age, maintaining strong connections with friends and family becomes even more crucial. Yet some habits we’ve picked up along the way can push those we care about further away.
The key is to identify these behaviors and nix them from our repertoire. It’s not about changing who you are, but making small adjustments to how you interact with others.
In this piece, I’ll share the seven behaviors you might need to say goodbye to, if you want more friends and family in your life as you get older.
Let’s dive in and start making those changes that could enrich your social circle and ultimately, your life.
1) Being judgmental
As we mature, we accumulate a wealth of experiences and knowledge. It’s easy to fall into the trap of becoming judgmental, perceiving the world only through our lens.
However, this habit can push people away. Nobody likes to feel judged. When you’re constantly criticizing or belittling others’ choices or opinions, it creates an unwelcoming environment.
The whole point is to be open and accepting. You don’t have to agree with everyone. But respect their right to have different views and experiences.
If you’re looking to bring more friends and family into your life as you’re getting older, let go of the judgmental attitude. Embrace diversity, encourage conversations and foster an atmosphere of acceptance and respect. Remember, it’s not about changing your core beliefs but about creating a welcoming space for meaningful connections.
2) Being a know-it-all
Ah, I remember a time when I thought I had all the answers. I would jump into every conversation with my opinion, eager to prove my knowledge. But over time, I noticed something – the more I tried to show off my expertise, the less people wanted to engage with me.
I realized that being a know-it-all can be isolating. It doesn’t invite dialogue or foster genuine connections. Instead, it often shuts down conversations and can make others feel inferior or unappreciated.
So, I made a conscious effort to change this behavior. I started asking more questions and genuinely listening to others’ opinions. And guess what? My relationships improved dramatically.
If you want to keep friends and family around as you get older, practice humility. Admit when you don’t know something and be open to learning from others. It’s not only about gaining knowledge but also about showing respect for other people’s insights and experiences.
3) Lack of empathy
Empathy is a powerful tool for connection. It allows us to understand and share the feelings of others. Interestingly, neuroscientists have discovered that our brains are wired to respond to empathy. When we empathize with someone, our brain releases oxytocin, also known as the “bonding hormone”.
So, if you’re finding it challenging to maintain or create relationships as you age, check your empathy levels. Are you truly trying to understand others’ perspectives and feelings? Or are you brushing them off because they don’t align with your own?
Saying goodbye to a lack of empathy means actively listening, validating others’ feelings, and showing genuine care. Not only will this make your interactions more meaningful, but it can also help deepen your relationships.
4) Negativity
We’ve all had those days where nothing seems to go right, and it’s easy to fall into a cycle of negativity. But constant complaining or focusing on the negative aspects of life can drain the energy out of any conversation.
People generally enjoy being around those who uplift them, not bring them down. If you continually focus on the negatives, it may discourage people from wanting to spend time with you.
Try to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Focus on the positives in your life, no matter how small they may be. You’ll be surprised how this shift in perspective can make you a magnet for friends and family. And remember, it’s not about pretending everything is perfect, but learning to see the silver lining in every situation.
5) Holding grudges
There was a time when I held onto grudges like they were prized possessions. I believed that by holding onto my anger, I was punishing the person who had wronged me. But in reality, I was only hurting myself.
Holding onto grudges creates a barrier to connection. It fills your interactions with bitterness and resentment, leaving little room for positivity.
The truth is, everyone makes mistakes. If you want to maintain your relationships as you get older, you need to learn how to forgive. Not just for the sake of the other person, but for your peace of mind too.
Let go of past hurts and resentments. It doesn’t mean you have to forget, or that what happened was okay. It simply means you’re choosing your peace over your pain.
6) Not keeping in touch
Life gets busy. We all have our commitments and responsibilities. But if you want to keep your friends and family close as you age, you need to make the effort to stay in touch.
It’s easy to assume that others should reach out to us, but relationships are a two-way street. It’s important to show people that you care about them and that they’re on your mind.
Make it a habit to reach out to your loved ones regularly. A simple phone call, a text message, or even a handwritten letter can go a long way in maintaining and strengthening your relationships. Remember, it’s the small gestures that often mean the most.
7) Being self-centered
At the heart of every strong relationship is a balance of give and take. If you continually make conversations and interactions about you, it can leave others feeling unheard and unimportant.
If you want to keep friends and family close as you age, it’s crucial to shift your focus from ‘me’ to ‘we’. Show genuine interest in their lives. Listen without planning your next response. Celebrate their achievements and support them in their struggles.
Relationships are not just about what you can get, but also about what you can give. The more you invest in others, the more they’ll want to invest in you.
