Ever wonder why some people seem to command respect effortlessly while others struggle to be taken seriously?
The truth is, being respected isn’t just about what you say—it’s about what you don’t do.
Today we dive into seven behaviors that might be undermining your credibility and holding you back from being taken seriously. How many of these are still lurking in your life?
Let’s find out!
1) Making excuses
I’ll admit it, this was one I struggled with.
It’s so easy to find reasons why something didn’t go as planned. The weather was bad, the traffic was terrible, my alarm didn’t go off – the list of excuses was endless.
But I realized that constantly making excuses wasn’t getting me anywhere. People started to see me as unreliable and untrustworthy.
And that’s when I decided to change. I made a conscious effort to take responsibility for my actions and face the consequences head-on.
Let me tell you, it wasn’t easy. But over time, people began to notice the change. They saw that I was dependable, that I could be counted on.
2) Complaining
We all have bad days. But there’s a difference between venting occasionally and being that person who constantly complains about everything.
It turns people off. In fact, a survey by Kickresume found that complaining is one of the most annoying habits in co-workers.
Let’s be real though—it’s not just about work. This habit spills over into friendships, relationships, and even casual interactions. And no one wants to be around someone who drains the energy out of the room by focusing on the negatives all the time.
So, how do you kick this habit?
Start by catching yourself when you’re about to complain. Ask yourself: Is this something I can change?
If yes, great—do something about it. If not, find a way to accept it and move on. Try shifting your focus to solutions rather than the problems.
And here’s a tip—make gratitude a habit. When you consciously focus on what’s going right, the need to complain naturally shrinks.
3) Phubbing
You might not know what “phubbing” is—it’s a relatively new word—but I’m pretty sure you’ve either done it or experienced it. Quite simply, it’s the act of snubbing someone in favor of your phone.
Picture this: you’re mid-conversation, and suddenly the other person is scrolling through their phone, barely giving you a glance. Annoying, right?
As noted by experts, this behavior does no favors for your relationships. In a Psychology Today post, writer Jen Kim highlighted that studies have shown that the more people used their phones in the presence of close friends, the less satisfied they felt with those relationships.
Whether it’s with friends, family, or colleagues, phubbing sends the message that the person in front of you isn’t worth your full attention.
How do you stop? Start by putting your phone away when you’re with others—out of sight, out of mind. Make a habit of being fully present in conversations. Trust me, your relationships will thank you for it.
4) Forgetting people’s names immediately after meeting them
This used to happen to me all the time.
I’d shake someone’s hand, get introduced, and within seconds—poof—their name was gone.
It wasn’t until I read the famous How to Win Friends and Influence People that I realized how important remembering names really is. Author Dale Carnegie notes that “a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
Since then, I’ve made it a point to focus when meeting someone new, repeating their name a few times in the conversation, and finding ways to associate it with something memorable.
Let me tell you, it’s been a game-changer. Not only does it make people feel valued, but it also sets you apart as someone who truly pays attention—instantly boosting your credibility.
5) Not really listening
Ever catch yourself half-listening while already thinking about what you’re going to say next?
Be honest—we’ve all been there.
As Stephen Covey brilliantly put it, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” And here’s the thing: when you’re not really listening, people can tell. It makes them feel unimportant and unheard, which can chip away at trust and respect in your relationships.
To fix this, practice active listening. This means giving the speaker your full attention, processing what they’re saying without planning your response. Try reflecting back what you’ve heard before jumping in with your thoughts.
By showing others that you genuinely care about their words, you’ll build stronger connections and be taken more seriously in the process.
6) Being late
You probably expected this one right. Being late sends a clear message, and it’s not a good one.
Whether it’s for a meeting, a social event, or even just a casual hangout, consistently arriving late shows a lack of respect for other people’s time. It creates the impression that you’re disorganized or unreliable, even if that’s not your intention.
Punctuality, on the other hand, signals professionalism, dependability, and courtesy. It’s a simple but powerful habit that can have a major impact on how others perceive you.
Being on time isn’t your strong suit? Try setting reminders, giving yourself extra time to get ready, or adjusting your schedule. Small adjustments can make a big difference in how you’re viewed by those around you.
7) Not keeping your word
Last but certainly not least, failing to keep your word can do serious damage to your reputation.
When you make promises—big or small—people expect you to follow through. If you don’t, you quickly become someone they can’t rely on, which undermines trust and respect.
As the philosopher Marcus Aurelius wisely put it, “Never value as an advantage to yourself what will force you one day to break your word.” In other words, keeping your commitments, no matter how inconvenient, is crucial to maintaining your integrity.
If you make a habit of honoring your word, people will see you as dependable and trustworthy—two traits that instantly command respect.
Final thought: It’s all about growth
Saying goodbye to certain behaviors like these isn’t about changing who you are. It’s about refining your character, becoming a better version of yourself.
When you respect your own time, when you hold yourself accountable, when you listen actively and maintain a positive outlook – that’s when you start to grow. And growth commands respect.
So as you reflect on these behaviors and consider whether they’re holding you back, remember that every step towards change is a step towards personal growth. And that’s what being taken seriously is all about.
