Have you ever felt that your relationship might be teetering on the edge of monotony?
Don’t worry—you’re not alone. It’s easy for relationships to fall into predictable patterns, and while comfort can be a beautiful thing, too much of it can lead to stagnation.
As someone who has spent years exploring the nuances of love and connection, I can tell you this: keeping a relationship vibrant requires intention.
Today, we’re tackling five common behaviors that can slowly drain the excitement from your bond.
If you want to keep your relationship feeling fresh and full of life, it might be time to let go of these habits.
Let’s dive in.
1) Skipping dates
This sounds so simple, doesn’t it? Yet, you’d be surprised how many couples I’ve worked with admit they’ve stopped making time for regular dates.
Life has a way of taking over—work deadlines, household responsibilities, and family obligations can make date nights feel like an optional luxury.
But here’s the truth: dates aren’t just for the early days of romance; they’re a crucial ingredient for keeping a relationship thriving over time.
When you stop going on dates, it’s easy to lose that sense of novelty and connection that made your relationship special in the first place.
Whether it’s dressing up for a night out or simply grabbing coffee together, prioritizing time to enjoy each other’s company reminds you why you’re in this together.
It doesn’t have to be extravagant—a walk in the park, a picnic, or even a shared hobby can work wonders.
The key is to create moments where you can focus on each other without distractions, keeping your bond strong and your relationship feeling fresh.
2) Being joined at the hip
While it might seem romantic or even ideal, being inseparable can sometimes do more harm than good.
A relationship is about two people coming together as a team, not two people losing themselves and becoming one.
Maintaining your individuality is essential, and fostering interdependence—not codependency—is the key to a truly happy and healthy partnership.
In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I dive deep into this concept in detail.
But for now, just know that interdependence (what you want) means you’re connected and supportive of each other but still maintain your own sense of self.
Codependency, on the other hand, can lead to feelings of suffocation, resentment, and ultimately, burnout in a relationship.
Spending time outside the relationship—whether it’s pursuing hobbies, catching up with friends, or simply enjoying some alone time—helps you stay grounded in who you are as an individual.
It gives you fresh experiences to bring back to your partner, making your time together even more meaningful.
3) Comparing
This is such a huge one nowadays.
We live in an era where everyone’s life is on display through social media. It’s easy to scroll through the posts of couples sipping champagne in Paris or hiking in the Himalayas and feel dissatisfied with your own relationship.
But here’s the thing: comparing your relationship with others is like comparing apples to oranges.
Every relationship has its own dynamics, struggles and victories. What you see on social media is often a curated highlight reel, not the full story.
It’s not about whose relationship looks more exciting on Instagram. It’s about creating a bond that brings fulfillment and happiness to both of you.
So say goodbye to comparison, and watch how your relationship grows stronger and more vibrant.
4) Presuming you know how they feel (and presuming they know how you feel)
So many of the couples I’ve worked with fall into this trap without even realizing it. Over time, we naturally start to assume we know exactly what our partner is feeling or thinking, and we expect them to instinctively understand us in return.
While this might feel like a natural progression in a close relationship, it often leads to two things: conflict and stagnation.
Here’s the truth—people change. Their feelings, needs, and perspectives evolve over time.
One of the most glorious aspects of a strong, lasting relationship is the opportunity to continually discover these changes in each other. But to do that, you must let go of the assumption that you already know what’s going on in your partner’s heart and mind.
As playwright George Bernard Shaw aptly put it, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
If you’re not actively sharing and listening, you’re missing out on the deep, evolving connection that keeps a relationship vibrant.
Ask questions. Be curious. Make it a habit to check in with your partner regularly—not just about logistical stuff but about their thoughts, feelings, and dreams.
And don’t forget to share your own as well. The more you communicate, the more you can grow together, avoiding the pitfalls of misunderstanding and complacency.
5) Taking each other for granted
Last but not least, a healthy relationship thrives on gratitude and acknowledgment.
This is widely acknowledged by experts like those at Psychology Today, who have noted that showing gratitude improves connection. Research has even found it can even improve satisfaction with one’s sex life!
Don’t let your partner’s efforts—big or small—go unnoticed. Whether it’s thanking them for making dinner, telling them how much you love the way they make you laugh, or acknowledging how hard they work, these moments of appreciation build a strong foundation of love and respect.
Likewise, don’t let yourself feel unappreciated either. If you notice this dynamic creeping in, have an honest conversation about the importance of feeling valued.
The antidote to taking each other for granted is staying present and intentional.
Make an effort to show love and gratitude every day—it doesn’t have to be grand gestures. Sometimes, a heartfelt compliment, an unexpected hug, or a simple “thank you for being you” can make all the difference.
Final thoughts
Keeping a relationship vibrant and fulfilling takes effort, but it’s so worth it.
By letting go of these common habits—skipping dates, being joined at the hip, comparing your relationship, presuming too much, and taking each other for granted—you open the door to deeper connection, fresh excitement, and lasting love.
Remember, relationships are living, breathing things that need care and attention to thrive. It’s about being intentional, staying curious, and making space for gratitude and individuality.
Small, consistent changes can make a world of difference.
So, which habit are you ready to let go of today? The path to a stronger, happier relationship starts with just one step.
