When was the last time you felt truly joyful?
If it’s hard to pinpoint a moment, you’re not alone.
While life will always have its ups and downs, it’s possible that some of our own behaviors might be holding us back from experiencing genuine happiness.
The good news? Identifying and letting go of these patterns can make a world of difference.
Today, we’ll explore seven key behaviors that might be standing between you and that elusive feeling of joy.
Let’s dive in.
1) Holding onto negativity
We all experience bad days, negative thoughts, and unsettling emotions. It’s a part of life. But when you allow these negatives to take up permanent residence in your mind, they can rob you of your joy.
Negativity bias is a real thing. It’s our tendency to focus more on negative events than positive ones. This can lead to a constant state of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
Think about it. You might have had a great day, but then something small goes wrong, and suddenly that’s all you can think about.
When you find yourself dwelling on the negatives, make a conscious effort to shift your focus. Look for the positives, the silver linings. Consider what you can learn from the situation.
2) Being too serious all the time
Laughter is often called the best medicine, but did you know it’s also a fantastic joy booster?
Experts note that laughter releases endorphins, our body’s natural feel-good chemicals. These endorphins can help to increase feelings of happiness and even relieve pain.
Life comes with its fair share of ups and downs, and it’s easy to get caught up in the seriousness of it all. But in doing so, you could be squeezing out the joy.
Try to find humor in your daily life. Watch a funny movie, listen to a comedy podcast, or simply share a joke with a friend.
Life doesn’t always have to be so serious. Let yourself laugh and embrace the happiness it brings.
3) Comparing yourself to others
We live in a world where it’s easier than ever to compare ourselves to others.
Social media platforms are filled with endless success stories, picture-perfect moments, and seemingly flawless lives. But this constant comparison can be a joy-stealer.
Comparing yourself to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and dissatisfaction. It’s a trap that many of us fall into.
But the truth is, everyone’s journey is unique.
Those picture-perfect moments you see online are just a snapshot, not the full picture. Everyone has their highs and lows – they just might not share them all.
As advised by psychologist Jordan Peterson, “Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.”
When you focus on your growth and achievements, you’ll find that joy comes more naturally.
4) Fear of stepping out of your comfort zone
Let me share something personal with you. For years, I was stuck in a rut. My life was a repetition of the same old routines. I was comfortable, yes, but joyful? Not so much.
The thing is, we all have a comfort zone. A safe haven where we feel secure. But nothing ever grows there. And that includes joy.
One day, I decided to do something different. I signed up for a dance class, something I’d never imagined myself doing. It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.
Guess what? It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Not only did I discover a new hobby, but it also brought so much joy into my life.
The point is if you’re struggling to find joy, maybe it’s time to try something new. Say goodbye to the fear and hello to potential happiness.
5) Neglecting self-care
In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to place ourselves at the bottom of our priority list. We get caught up in work, family responsibilities, and social obligations, and forget the most important person – ourselves.
When we do this, though, we essentially end up running on empty. And it’s hard to feel truly joyful when you’re exhausted, stressed, and run down.
As noted by the folks at Psych Central, this can result in feeling hopeless, less patience, and even a lack of willingness to engage in social activities.
Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. It’s about taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This can be as simple as getting enough sleep, eating nutritious food, taking time to relax, or doing activities you love.
When you start caring for yourself, you’ll find your energy levels improve, your mood lifts, and joy becomes a more regular part of your life.
6) Avoiding vulnerability
There was a time when I believed that showing vulnerability was a sign of weakness. I kept my feelings and struggles to myself, believing that I had to face everything alone.
This mindset not only left me feeling isolated but also stole away my joy.
Vulnerability is not a weakness. It’s a strength. As so beautifully put by renowned researcher and author Brené Brown, it is “the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity
When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we open ourselves up to genuine connections with others, which are one of the best predictors of happiness.
It can be scary, yes, but it’s also liberating. When I opened up about my struggles, I found support and understanding. I felt less alone and more connected, and this brought joy back into my life.
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. It could be your pathway back to joy.
7) Living in the past or future
Whether it’s dwelling on past mistakes or worrying about future uncertainties, being stuck in a time that’s not ‘now’ can leave you feeling anxious and unhappy.
The past is a place of reference, not residence. Learn from it, but don’t let it dictate your present. Similarly, the future is not guaranteed. It’s good to plan, but don’t let the ‘what ifs’ steal your current joy.
Practicing mindfulness can be a great way to overcome this. It’s about being fully present and engaged in the moment. When you’re mindful, you can truly appreciate and find joy in the here and now.
Whether you’re sipping your morning coffee, working, or watching a sunset, immerse yourself in the experience. Embrace the present moment. It’s where true joy lives.
Final reflection: The path to joy
Your journey towards a joyful life starts with a single step – the decision to say goodbye to these joy-stealing behaviors.
Take that step today. After all, you deserve to experience the beauty of true joy.